WWYD regifted -- really just a vent

[Anonymous]

We don't give many gifts in my extended family, so we avoid situations like this. I want my kids to be happy with less, and me griping about a regift wouldn't teach them that.

[Anonymous]

If her gifts arrived today, she is probably really disorganized about things like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you read what I wrote I never called it lame. Yes she obviously forgot. She only has two nieces to buy for. I am just disappointed and also irritated because there is no reason for her to be pulling random things out of her closet for a present for her niece who she professes to adore who she only buys presents for once a year. Especially when she is super wealthy and flashy about it to boot.

Her wealth is irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's really crappy, OP.
You are correct, there is no excuse. The only explanation is that people these days are very self-centered. Your SIL really takes the cake for not even remembering where the beading set came from. Surprising that she couldn't just go on Amazon and send something from there.
Agree that you should say something like "Oh, I guess your Suzy really loved that same beading set that we gave her last year. I'd love to see some of the things she made! Any pointers for her cousin in using the set?".
She probably still won't care but you will have called her out without actually saying anything mean.
(I'm a little passive aggressive if you didn't notice).

This is good, as is PPs suggestion. I'd probably not send gifts to her kids next year. She's obviously not into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you read what I wrote I never called it lame. Yes she obviously forgot. She only has two nieces to buy for. I am just disappointed and also irritated because there is no reason for her to be pulling random things out of her closet for a present for her niece who she professes to adore who she only buys presents for once a year. Especially when she is super wealthy and flashy about it to boot.

Her wealth is irrelevant.

No it isn't. Rich people shouldn't be sending $15 gifts to their relatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't give many gifts in my extended family, so we avoid situations like this. I want my kids to be happy with less, and me griping about a regift wouldn't teach them that.

Give yourself a cookie, sanctimommy.

I think there are a lot of huffy, defensive re-gifters on this thread.

[Anonymous]

My niece is three years older than my daughter. So my brother has now several times purchased and given us exactly the same gift that we gave their daughter three times earlier. He isn't regifting. He just figures that if we thought it was good for his kid, our kid would probably also enjoy it. It's a little less work for him.

It annoys me a little, but eh. I wouldn't be so sure your sister isn't doing the same thing. She could easily have bought exactly the same kit you gave her daughter off of Amazon. It's not that hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you read what I wrote I never called it lame. Yes she obviously forgot. She only has two nieces to buy for. I am just disappointed and also irritated because there is no reason for her to be pulling random things out of her closet for a present for her niece who she professes to adore who she only buys presents for once a year. Especially when she is super wealthy and flashy about it to boot.

OP, from your post above it sounds like you have some other pre-existing issues you haven't mentioned with SIL. You seem resentful about her money & maybe there are some other things about her that bother you? How is she "flashy" about her wealth? Are you jealous of her or her lifestyle?

[Anonymous]

I would think it was funny. She either got more than one, or her kid was never into it, and she (correctly) thought your daughter would like it. Who cares if it's a re-gift? The only mistake was forgetting who gave it to her daughter in the first place. Kudos to her for not buying more crap just for the sake of spending money.

Lose the chip on your shoulder about her income.

[Anonymous]

If it was a good enough gift for you to give to her child, I don't understand the problem. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

If your kid likes it, and it sounds like she does, who cares when or where the gift came to be?

Sounds like you have more of an issue that your SIL has a high income and therefore by default should be gifting your DD more expensive gifts.

1. You don't know their financial portfolio. Just bc she makes more doesn't mean that she's got more spending cash, esp when you have mentioned she's "flashy to boot" which means she probably shops a lot for herself and her child.

2. You cannot be upset over someone else giving your child a gift. You can be upset that she re-gifted something, but you have no legit proof that she didn't just order the same thing from Amazon as another PP has suggested.

3. People send presents late because the post office is a lot easier to deal with after xmas than before. If you're family, it shouldn't matter as long as the child is happy and gets the present intended for her.

Overall, I think you have a chip on your shoulder about your SIL's income bracket, and your unreasonable expectation of her gifts to your DC.

Let it go now. 11 months from now tell her that you don't want to exchange gifts anymore because the kids are getting older and they want to pick their own gifts. At that point you can let your SIL take control and decide if she wants to send a gift card or send nothing at all. Then you'll have your answer if she cares that much about your child or has just been sending gifts because it's the unwritten expectation as family.

[Anonymous]

I'd be annoyed too. Has nothing to do with not being grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My niece is three years older than my daughter. So my brother has now several times purchased and given us exactly the same gift that we gave their daughter three times earlier. He isn't regifting. He just figures that if we thought it was good for his kid, our kid would probably also enjoy it. It's a little less work for him.

It annoys me a little, but eh. I wouldn't be so sure your sister isn't doing the same thing. She could easily have bought exactly the same kit you gave her daughter off of Amazon. It's not that hard.

This is kinda hilarious. I'm sure you've started thinking, "what will DD like in a couple years...?" when purchasing gifts for your niece! Funny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you know it was the actual one you gave and that she didn't just buy the same kit?

This

Yeah, this.

OP, come back and please let us know: How are you so positive that this is exactly the same kit you gave her child? Maybe her child liked this kit so well that she bought the same thing for yours, knowing it was a hit and worked well.

That would be a compliment to you for your earlier choice of this kit, by the way--not an insult.

Even if it's a regift and actually was the identical kit you gave them, it seems sad that you cannot just laugh about it and encourage your kid to enjoy it, but instead choose to focus on how relatives with money should also have time and energy to spend that money on you and yours.

[Anonymous]

NP. In the month of December, my girls received 5 Melissa & Doug stamping sets from various relatives/friends. 5! This despite requests for a no-gift exchange. As it turns out, we already have a stamping set still all in tact. I think all of our friends hit the same Marshall's sale bin or something and know our girls like crafting .

What to do? We gave two stamp sets away to charity toy drives. Still left with 3 that we will probably give away as part of bday presents. Based on a suggestion from this site, we've started putting post-its on stuff we are going to regift so we know who gave what. But I am not so organized, so I could have done something like this (tho not with my nephews, for family I tend to just amazon). But I might have done it with a friend in previous years, and I hope she has forgiven me for it.

Believe me, it wasn't intentional, OP. Does she love your kids? I don't know you, but probably. Is she probably scatter-brained? Yep.