Screaming about and rejecting every meal suddenly?! 11 yr old DD - help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PMS?

Hell, yeah.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like a power struggle. The girl is craving what her body needs - CARBS! And Op is feeding her foods that are not satisfying those cravings.

I think I would cook your normal meal but have a starchy side that she can also have.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you should have a full blood panel done on her, Including strep, and hormone levels if possible.
Does she take a DHA supplement? If not, try to start her on a high quality one. She sounds like she is in need of quality nutrients and starting her period perhaps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a doctor ASAP, especially since these are sudden changes at a relatively late stage in childhood. This doesn't sound fully behavioral to me - although I have heard it is normal for early teenagers to suddenly start cutting foods out (just like when they are 18 months to 3 and go through the stage of rejecting foods they ate when they were babies). Still, this sounds different. I think your first stop needs to be a physician. Trust your instincts.

Please heed this, OP. Yes, this could end up being about hormones, emotions, a need for control, or pressures at school of which you're not aware. But first and foremost, get her body checked out.

The juice-guzzling and fixation on "fast carbs" that turn to sugars in the body quickly (which white pasta and white pizza dough etc. do) means she is after sugars--think of carbs as the sugars they become.

I really would get her tested for diabetes first, because believe me, it can make a person VERY angry and cause them to lash out at others in what seems like a personality change. We have Type 1 diabetes in our family and I've seen the relatives with it go from lovely people to furious and even physical when their sugar is out of whack. Contact her pediatrician ASAP and find out if you need to do a fasting test or whatever, so your DD is ready when you walk in the doctor's door.

If you think, or are told by friends, that if you have no diabetes in the family she probably "can't" have diabetes, that's absolutely wrong. It can emerge with no family connection. A friend's DD was 11 when she found out that she had Type 1 and there were not even the kinds of problems you cite here. And zero family members on either side with Type 1 or Type 2 diabetes.

Tell the doctor in advance of the visit what is going on and find out what tests the doctor will do, and not just for diabetes but for anything else that might be in play here. Don't spend the visit with your child sitting there being talked about in front of herself by you and the doctor--priming the doctor in advance can help avoid that. This might not be diabetes but you do need to rule it out and get whatever other tests are appropriate.

By the way, you asked earlier if you should just let her drink all the juice she wants if it's a phase but please don't. What you do not have in the house, she cannot drink, so don't bring in more than a small amount at any one time (even if other family members love it-- you need to limit her right now). Juice is fine but lacks fiber, pectin and many other things that the whole fruit provides, and there is a huge tendency to let kids have all the juices they want since it's thought of as merely fruit. It develops a sweet tooth for sweet drinks and that will grow beyond "healthy" fruit juices quickly especially if she keeps craving sugars.

[Anonymous]

PANDAS? Has she had strep recently? It could be form of OCD caused by strep.

[Anonymous]

OK, sure. Doctor's visit to rule out diabetes and other serious health issues.

But it sounds to me like she's going through a growth spurt. She's at the exact right age. Her body is craving more and more calories than she can probably get from black beans and soup and lean grilled meats and vegetables.

Make sure every meal has a substantial side of palatable starch for her -- rolls, biscuits, egg noodles, rice, gnocchi, whatever she likes.

Whole grain, natch.

Or heat up some cheese on whole grain focaccia as an appetizer.

Serve pizza more often now than you may have in the past -- make it from scratch and have her help with the toppings which can be very healthy.

Make sure she gets more calories, easily, for three days in a row and I bet the yelling will subside. GROWING BODIES NEED CALORIES!!

[Anonymous]

Oh -- and try milkshakes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, sure. Doctor's visit to rule out diabetes and other serious health issues.

But it sounds to me like she's going through a growth spurt. She's at the exact right age. Her body is craving more and more calories than she can probably get from black beans and soup and lean grilled meats and vegetables.

Make sure every meal has a substantial side of palatable starch for her -- rolls, biscuits, egg noodles, rice, gnocchi, whatever she likes.

Whole grain, natch.

Or heat up some cheese on whole grain focaccia as an appetizer.

Serve pizza more often now than you may have in the past -- make it from scratch and have her help with the toppings which can be very healthy.

Make sure she gets more calories, easily, for three days in a row and I bet the yelling will subside. GROWING BODIES NEED CALORIES!!

Yes! A growing middle school girl should not be eating like her perimenopausal, middle aged mom. Give that girl a starchy side.

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine went through very similar behavior with her daughter. The girl was diagnosed with diabetes. Get her to the doctor now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like when boys start eating a ton we all chuckle about growth spurts but when tween girls want to eat all the time we worry.

Umm...because of science.

Teen boys require up to 1,000 additional calories per day during their growing years. Girls need extra calories but not as much as teen boys.

Active teen boys could eat an entire pizza per day and not really have it affect them. Some active teen girls could too, but not many.

Boys and girls growth spurts are very diffeeent.

If a teenage boy was stomping around screaming at mealtimes that would be worrying as well. It's not the hunger that's the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's a great idea to get creative with sauces. Yes, I can't vilify starches or she'll want them even more. How much input do your kids have for the menu?

If she's going through a juice phase should I let her drink it to her heart's content in hopes that she'll get tired of it? That seems risky. Bad habits are hard to break.

My 12 yr old goes through phases of guzzling orange juice or milk. I once bought a quart of milk and she drank the entire thing in about 30 hours. Her growth spurt phases generally last a little less than a week, I think. It takes me about 2 days to notice she's eating a lot more than usual, and at that point I'll stock up on healthy foods so she's got good options when she wanders into the kitchen.

4 cups of milk in a day and a half doesn't seem excessive at all. Growing up we had a glass of milk with breakfast (on cereal), lunch, and dinner. 30 hours is four meals, so a quart seems fairly normal.

[Anonymous]

NP. OP, I don't think this is normal. I think you need to get her checked out with her ped, preferably soon. Please ignore all the advice on how to cook your food, how to deal with her behavior, until you completely rule out a medical issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^I've never heard that girls' growth spurts are different than boys'. Isn't it just that girls tend to be done with puberty younger than boys and need to go back down to regular caloric intake?

Very different. I was 5'1" in 6th grade and topped out at a whopping 5'4" vs my brothers that went from 5'0" to 6'2" in the same time frame. They needed a lot more fuel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like when boys start eating a ton we all chuckle about growth spurts but when tween girls want to eat all the time we worry.

Umm...because of science.

Teen boys require up to 1,000 additional calories per day during their growing years. Girls need extra calories but not as much as teen boys.

Active teen boys could eat an entire pizza per day and not really have it affect them. Some active teen girls could too, but not many.

Boys and girls growth spurts are very diffeeent.

If a teenage boy was stomping around screaming at mealtimes that would be worrying as well. It's not the hunger that's the problem.

That depends on whether or not the teenage boy is getting enough food to meet their needs. When we've got people describing drinking a glass of milk with each meal as "guzzling" it makes you wonder if this girl is getting her caloric needs met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like when boys start eating a ton we all chuckle about growth spurts but when tween girls want to eat all the time we worry.

Umm...because of science.

Teen boys require up to 1,000 additional calories per day during their growing years. Girls need extra calories but not as much as teen boys.

Active teen boys could eat an entire pizza per day and not really have it affect them. Some active teen girls could too, but not many.

Boys and girls growth spurts are very diffeeent.

If a teenage boy was stomping around screaming at mealtimes that would be worrying as well. It's not the hunger that's the problem.

That depends on whether or not the teenage boy is getting enough food to meet their needs. When we've got people describing drinking a glass of milk with each meal as "guzzling" it makes you wonder if this girl is getting her caloric needs met.

PP here. I agree with you. I am not saying she should suck it up and be hungry, but rather that the area of concern is her behavior. Hunger can be solved by eating more food. Being extra hungry wouldn't worry me (I was always hassled for my appetite and BOOM I was close to 6' by the time I was in eighth grade!). But stomping around and yelling worries me.