what did you tell your adopted child in this situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not refer to my child as the "adopted child." She is my child who joined our family through adoption. She understands her birth mom loved her very much and was not in a position to take care of her when she gave birth (very young, no money, stable housing, etc). Birth mom wanted more for her than she knew she could provide at the time. Keep it simple and do not overthink it. It is what it is.

I really like your wording "joined our family through adoption"

[Anonymous]

45 year old adoptee here. I was adopted at birth and really knew little about my bio mom other than that she was young. I have always known I was adopted. I don't think my mom ever sugar coat it, but what she did tell me was that she picked me. She could have adopted any kid, but I was chosen. She worked really hard and long to find and get me. So, after that, who really cared what my bio mom thought. She may not of wanted a kid, but darn my mom wanted me more. The love in my home was stable and fierce and still is. People talk about adopted kids having abandonment issues, I am the opposite. I have always felt very secure in who my mamma is. I had a great childhood too and I am still very close to my mom. I have also met my bio mom, we looked for and found each other out of curiosity. She is a neat lady and she fancies her bio grandchild, but my mamma is still mamma.

The fact is, it is darn easy to make a kid. Way too hard to adopt one. An adopted child is a chosen one. Can't be more special than that.