Do you accept financial help from your family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is not in a position to help us out, but my husband's family does. When we got married they presented him with a 2 million dollar trust. They give us generous Christmas presents and have offered to pay for private school tuition for our kids. They have hundreds of millions of dollars and have the stance that it's all going to end up being distributed to their children anyway.

There is a lot that we refuse from them, too... and we use some of the money to pay it forward to help my in-need family members. Otherwise we leave it invested and live off of our own earnings.

Wow. so you married rich?

My husband's parents are wealthy. My husband and I are your average suburbanites who live in townhouse with a mortgage, two jobs, child care costs, etc.

[Anonymous]

Lifestyle for DH and myself was built by us. I haven't taken substantial money from my folks since college.

[Anonymous]

My parents gave us a down payment on our modest house with no strings attached, so yes, I would accept financial help.

[Anonymous]

My parents gave us a down payment on our modest house with no strings attached, so yes, I would accept financial help.

[Anonymous]

I have a trust fund. My husband didn't know about it until we were married, I didn't even know the amount of it till I was 35. I get annual disbursement from it (as does my husband), which total just shy of $56,000 (some is taken out to pay a life insurance premium from the trust). We also have a $2 million dollar LOC. We haven't touched the trust and did use the LOC once when buying a home.

[Anonymous]

Your sister sounds cool.

Take her our for a fun dinner somewhere and treat.

[Anonymous]

I'm the above poster- I'm incredibly grateful for what I have been given- my siblings are equally gifted. My parents have pledged their estate 50% between us and philanthropy - we donate a large percentage of our gifting to charity. Our kids also have trusts.

[Anonymous]

No, they take it: ILs from both sides and siblings. It's not fun.

[Anonymous]

Yes of course I'd accept money. But only from our parents/grandparents. We already have "strings" of family and neither side would expect anything more than love and thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 40's. No, I would never accept financial help from my family. I can support myself. I honestly can't fathom and have SO little respect for the posters above who are adults and who have their parents subsidizing their lifestyles. Gross.

For the majority of human history, in most parts of the world, wealth has accumulated across generations. If the parents have something to pass on, they do. It's natural to want to do this.

[Anonymous]

The biggest financial help my parents gave me was paying for my college so I did not graduate with any debt. DH's parents did the same (although is scholarship helped too). We are doing the same for our children.

We inherited about $90k from DH's parents, $60k of it is tied up in an IRA. My parents tarted periodically writing $10k checks to my sister and I a few years ago (about every two years). Not for any reason, except that their retirement was going more cheaply than anticipated. We renovated our basement bathroom and bedroom about the same time, so the joke is that we built them a throne for that money. Unfortunately, we will inherit about $250k in the next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 40's. No, I would never accept financial help from my family. I can support myself. I honestly can't fathom and have SO little respect for the posters above who are adults and who have their parents subsidizing their lifestyles. Gross.

Don't you get the fact that maybe the parents want to give the money? Especially while they are able to see the positive effect it has on their children and grandchildren while they are still alive. My parents are both passed now but it gave them real pleasure to slip me the occasional check for "big birthdays" and anniversaries. And I appreciated the gestures - the money was given and received with more love, and meant more to me, than the funds I got from the lawyers when their estate was wound up after they passed. My parents were at least financially comfortable and there were no strings attached to the gifts. Nor was it a case of subsidizing my lifestyle - more a case of them enjoying seeing and hearing of the results of their generosity. I fully intend to do the same for my children.

Sorry PP if generosity makes you queasy - to some of us it is an expression of thoughtfulness, care and doing the best we can for our loved ones.

Phooey. Not the PP you are responding to but only immature, irresponsible sponge off their parents
A TRUE emergency, e.g. medical, house burns down, is one thing, living beyond your means and needing help paying your credit card bills is quite another.

You're missing the point. There is no one on this thread who is using their parents to pay the credit card bills or cell phone bills from what I can see. Some have parents helping to buy a better house in a better school district, or pay for grandchildren's educations, or for family vacations so they can spend more time with their grandchildren. We're all in this position, I actually think it would be more irresponsible not to do it then vice versa, it provides your children a better life. There is definitely an in between between being someone who sponges off of parents who can't afford it and being a generous and grateful child of wealthy parents who want to give.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 40's. No, I would never accept financial help from my family. I can support myself. I honestly can't fathom and have SO little respect for the posters above who are adults and who have their parents subsidizing their lifestyles. Gross.

Don't you get the fact that maybe the parents want to give the money? Especially while they are able to see the positive effect it has on their children and grandchildren while they are still alive. My parents are both passed now but it gave them real pleasure to slip me the occasional check for "big birthdays" and anniversaries. And I appreciated the gestures - the money was given and received with more love, and meant more to me, than the funds I got from the lawyers when their estate was wound up after they passed. My parents were at least financially comfortable and there were no strings attached to the gifts. Nor was it a case of subsidizing my lifestyle - more a case of them enjoying seeing and hearing of the results of their generosity. I fully intend to do the same for my children.

Sorry PP if generosity makes you queasy - to some of us it is an expression of thoughtfulness, care and doing the best we can for our loved ones.

Phooey. Not the PP you are responding to but only immature, irresponsible sponge off their parents
A TRUE emergency, e.g. medical, house burns down, is one thing, living beyond your means and needing help paying your credit card bills is quite another.

Not one person here said they get help with credit card bills and only one person said the help provided an overall lifestyle upgrade. For most us, what we're saying is that the help made the different between taking out an FHA or a normal mortgage; it's the difference between graduating with student loans or not; and the difference between getting our next car from CarMax or new. These differences make life easier on the margins, but really the only one of those that makes a meaningful day to day difference in lifestyle and flexibility is being student debt free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 40's. No, I would never accept financial help from my family. I can support myself. I honestly can't fathom and have SO little respect for the posters above who are adults and who have their parents subsidizing their lifestyles. Gross.

Don't you get the fact that maybe the parents want to give the money? Especially while they are able to see the positive effect it has on their children and grandchildren while they are still alive. My parents are both passed now but it gave them real pleasure to slip me the occasional check for "big birthdays" and anniversaries. And I appreciated the gestures - the money was given and received with more love, and meant more to me, than the funds I got from the lawyers when their estate was wound up after they passed. My parents were at least financially comfortable and there were no strings attached to the gifts. Nor was it a case of subsidizing my lifestyle - more a case of them enjoying seeing and hearing of the results of their generosity. I fully intend to do the same for my children.

Sorry PP if generosity makes you queasy - to some of us it is an expression of thoughtfulness, care and doing the best we can for our loved ones.

Phooey. Not the PP you are responding to but only immature, irresponsible sponge off their parents
A TRUE emergency, e.g. medical, house burns down, is one thing, living beyond your means and needing help paying your credit card bills is quite another.

You're missing the point. There is no one on this thread who is using their parents to pay the credit card bills or cell phone bills from what I can see. Some have parents helping to buy a better house in a better school district, or pay for grandchildren's educations, or for family vacations so they can spend more time with their grandchildren. We're all in this position, I actually think it would be more irresponsible not to do it then vice versa, it provides your children a better life. There is definitely an in between between being someone who sponges off of parents who can't afford it and being a generous and grateful child of wealthy parents who want to give.

AutoCorrect. Meant to say were I, not we're all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 40's. No, I would never accept financial help from my family. I can support myself. I honestly can't fathom and have SO little respect for the posters above who are adults and who have their parents subsidizing their lifestyles. Gross.

Don't you get the fact that maybe the parents want to give the money? Especially while they are able to see the positive effect it has on their children and grandchildren while they are still alive. My parents are both passed now but it gave them real pleasure to slip me the occasional check for "big birthdays" and anniversaries. And I appreciated the gestures - the money was given and received with more love, and meant more to me, than the funds I got from the lawyers when their estate was wound up after they passed. My parents were at least financially comfortable and there were no strings attached to the gifts. Nor was it a case of subsidizing my lifestyle - more a case of them enjoying seeing and hearing of the results of their generosity. I fully intend to do the same for my children.

Sorry PP if generosity makes you queasy - to some of us it is an expression of thoughtfulness, care and doing the best we can for our loved ones.

Phooey. Not the PP you are responding to but only immature, irresponsible sponge off their parents
A TRUE emergency, e.g. medical, house burns down, is one thing, living beyond your means and needing help paying your credit card bills is quite another.

Not one person here said they get help with credit card bills and only one person said the help provided an overall lifestyle upgrade. For most us, what we're saying is that the help made the different between taking out an FHA or a normal mortgage; it's the difference between graduating with student loans or not; and the difference between getting our next car from CarMax or new. These differences make life easier on the margins, but really the only one of those that makes a meaningful day to day difference in lifestyle and flexibility is being student debt free.

Great minds!
- poster above you.