How old were you when you safely came out of the closet as an atheist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am agnostic as is my husband but we still don't go around advertising it.

Do you "advertise" what schools you went to, or where you were raised, or what kind of car you drive, or where you went on vacation? -- doubtful -- these are just parts of everyone's lives that they talk about freely -- the way people who have a religion mention it in conversation. We'll have arrived when people freely mention their lack of religion just as easily as they mention their religion or other aspects of their lives.

I disagree with the above post and agree that you don't need to go around advertising your belief system (or lack thereof). The car example is not event close to being the same. Schools somewhat as well. When I meet people socially, religion hardly ever comes up until people are close friends. If people mention their bible study or church whatever, it easy enough to make a few inane comments then change the subject. After 12 years in DC, I really can't remember a single time my religion came up in discussion.

Maybe so, but I suggest listening more closely, with an ear to noticing times when people mention their religion in passing, e.g.,, "last Sunday when we were coming back from Church...." A woman in by Bible study group said...."

It's not a matter of "going around advertising" - that very phraseology suggests the mentioning your lack of religion is boasting or talking out of school, whereas mentioning religion in passing is not seen that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am agnostic as is my husband but we still don't go around advertising it.

Do you "advertise" what schools you went to, or where you were raised, or what kind of car you drive, or where you went on vacation? -- doubtful -- these are just parts of everyone's lives that they talk about freely -- the way people who have a religion mention it in conversation. We'll have arrived when people freely mention their lack of religion just as easily as they mention their religion or other aspects of their lives.

I disagree with the above post and agree that you don't need to go around advertising your belief system (or lack thereof). The car example is not event close to being the same. Schools somewhat as well. When I meet people socially, religion hardly ever comes up until people are close friends. If people mention their bible study or church whatever, it easy enough to make a few inane comments then change the subject. After 12 years in DC, I really can't remember a single time my religion came up in discussion.

Maybe so, but I suggest listening more closely, with an ear to noticing times when people mention their religion in passing, e.g.,, "last Sunday when we were coming back from Church...." A woman in by Bible study group said...."

It's not a matter of "going around advertising" - that very phraseology suggests the mentioning your lack of religion is boasting or talking out of school, whereas mentioning religion in passing is not seen that way.

I'd suggest listening less closely. Who cares what someone mentions in passing. It passes and then that's done. If it's persistent and in your face, that's a different thing, but grow some thicker skin at least. I don't want religious people to read into "I went for a long jog sunday morning" to be anti-religious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please. People don't care if you're an atheist.

I take it you're not an atheist?

People care very much, and judge you as devoid of ethics, morals, or values. I have been told this numerous times by faith-believing people.

I was not raised Atheist, but it took me until my early-mid 20's to "come out" to a few people, and later to be more open. Till this day I still feel judged, and sometimes just say that I'm not religious, as opposed to being an atheist. It's still very much frowned down upon even in the US, and in a large metro area.

Same here, although depending on where I am (hello deep south), I'm "not affiliated with a specific church". "Not religious" comes next. Sometimes "agnostic" or "atheist", but mostly I just don't care about it - not sure what that label is.

Apatheist - pronounced APaTHEist

LOL. I love it.

Belief is something I too just never thnk about. I never had any inner struggle or debate or even any conversation with myself about it. I was raised without religion really, belief wasn't something that came up in my house. I honestly don't know if my parents believe in god. So, yes, I'm an atheist, but I've never "come out" as one. It's just something that is, not something I feel the need to proclaim or take ownership of.

Fwiw, I was raised in a blue collar community in New England, with a large catholic population. Since I wasn't catholic, I was accustomed to feeling somewhat different and a bit apart from a pretty young age. But in my community it was a small difference, really; I had lots of catholic friends and it never seemed like that big a deal not to share those beliefs. New Englanders in general tend to be much less religious than people in other parts of the country, and those who are religious tend to live their religion quietly. You rarely see anything like the overt religiosity that is common in other regions.

As an adult, I rarely think about religion at all (in my personal life; of course I do think about it sometimes in the context of politics, international relations, etc). I have friends who appear to have no religion and others whom I know attend religios services faithfully. But I don't know if they believe in god or not. It never comes up.

Though I am an atheist, I don't really identify myself as an Atheist, iykwim. I view it more as an absence of something rather than a philosophy of its own. It's not really a part of my identity. If someone asks me what religion I am, I always say, "Nothing." I never say, "Atheist."

Try saying atheist and see what happens. It will be an interesting experiment. And you're right -- Atheism is not a philosophy -- that would be humanism, which most atheists are.

Sure, I could do that. Except I really don't care. ~shrug~

Yes, I do consider myself a humanist.

Then do it as a good deed, for the cause of atheists who do care. Check out this "Openly Secular" site -- short videos of people - some well known, most ordinary, who "come out" as secular. http://openlysecular.org

Seriously? IMO, I have much bigger fish to fry. I don't perceive atheists to be very high up on the list of oppressed peoples. I view other causes as more worthy of my time. Not trying to be insulting, just stating the facts as I see them.

In order to do a good deed, as you call it, I have to be aware of opportunities to do so. Which means thinking about this. Which I don't, because, well, I'm an atheist. There's nothing to think about.

I don't need to come out as secular. I AM secular. It's not anything I've ever felt embarrassed about or ashamed of or reluctant to admit. I could not care less what anyone else thinks about my beliefs or lack thereof. This one's just not my fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am agnostic as is my husband but we still don't go around advertising it.

Do you "advertise" what schools you went to, or where you were raised, or what kind of car you drive, or where you went on vacation? -- doubtful -- these are just parts of everyone's lives that they talk about freely -- the way people who have a religion mention it in conversation. We'll have arrived when people freely mention their lack of religion just as easily as they mention their religion or other aspects of their lives.

I disagree with the above post and agree that you don't need to go around advertising your belief system (or lack thereof). The car example is not event close to being the same. Schools somewhat as well. When I meet people socially, religion hardly ever comes up until people are close friends. If people mention their bible study or church whatever, it easy enough to make a few inane comments then change the subject. After 12 years in DC, I really can't remember a single time my religion came up in discussion.

Maybe so, but I suggest listening more closely, with an ear to noticing times when people mention their religion in passing, e.g.,, "last Sunday when we were coming back from Church...." A woman in by Bible study group said...."

It's not a matter of "going around advertising" - that very phraseology suggests the mentioning your lack of religion is boasting or talking out of school, whereas mentioning religion in passing is not seen that way.

I'd suggest listening less closely. Who cares what someone mentions in passing. It passes and then that's done. If it's persistent and in your face, that's a different thing, but grow some thicker skin at least. I don't want religious people to read into "I went for a long jog sunday morning" to be anti-religious.

+1

Next are you going to tell us it's a microaggression when people mention that they went to church on Sunday?

For god's sake (see what I did there?), sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. And if it's not--if the other person IS trying to make a point with their mention of church on Sunday--why do I care? Answer: I don't. She can try to make her point, but she can't make me receive it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Then do it as a good deed, for the cause of atheists who do care. Check out this "Openly Secular" site -- short videos of people - some well known, most ordinary, who "come out" as secular. http://openlysecular.org

I'm guessing you're not apatheist. I don't want to make a public statement because I don't care. And I want other people to not care too. Model behavior.

Right, I'm not an apatheist -- and mentioning your lack of belief in conversation is not making a "Public statement." I suggested you take a look at the openly secular site so you (and others) could see what people who DO want to speak publicly have said.

Most people don't have your background. Right now, most people are raised with religion - in some cases very restrictive religion. People like you being just a little bit more open about their lack of belief could make a difference to people who are suffering because they are having difficulty leaving what they've been taught to believe.

I was not quick to talk about my atheism either, so when people mentioned their religion, I stayed quiet. I didn't want to draw attention to myself or hijack conversations and make people uncomfortable.

I've found though, that those things don't happen. Instead, people seem stunned and gloss over it or change the subject (fine with me). Or else they become very interested. They are non-believers too, or are thinking about it, and are delighted to have found someone willing to say it aloud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Seriously? IMO, I have much bigger fish to fry. I don't perceive atheists to be very high up on the list of oppressed peoples. I view other causes as more worthy of my time. Not trying to be insulting, just stating the facts as I see them.

In order to do a good deed, as you call it, I have to be aware of opportunities to do so. Which means thinking about this. Which I don't, because, well, I'm an atheist. There's nothing to think about.

I don't need to come out as secular. I AM secular. It's not anything I've ever felt embarrassed about or ashamed of or reluctant to admit. I could not care less what anyone else thinks about my beliefs or lack thereof. This one's just not my fight.

Doesn't need to be a fight. and doesn't require much thinking. Just keep you ears open and be yourself -- openly.

Atheists in DC are hardly oppressed -- but in the South, they absolutely are -- if they are open about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Then do it as a good deed, for the cause of atheists who do care. Check out this "Openly Secular" site -- short videos of people - some well known, most ordinary, who "come out" as secular. http://openlysecular.org

I'm guessing you're not apatheist. I don't want to make a public statement because I don't care. And I want other people to not care too. Model behavior.

Right, I'm not an apatheist -- and mentioning your lack of belief in conversation is not making a "Public statement." I suggested you take a look at the openly secular site so you (and others) could see what people who DO want to speak publicly have said.

Most people don't have your background. Right now, most people are raised with religion - in some cases very restrictive religion. People like you being just a little bit more open about their lack of belief could make a difference to people who are suffering because they are having difficulty leaving what they've been taught to believe.

I was not quick to talk about my atheism either, so when people mentioned their religion, I stayed quiet. I didn't want to draw attention to myself or hijack conversations and make people uncomfortable.

I've found though, that those things don't happen. Instead, people seem stunned and gloss over it or change the subject (fine with me). Or else they become very interested. They are non-believers too, or are thinking about it, and are delighted to have found someone willing to say it aloud.

I find the videos boring (which is a good sign!) probably because I live in DC. I hope it's a helpful message for those who are in strict religious settings.

But what you're suggesting is a subtle proselytizing, and that's just not me. I think it'd be obvious enough for someone who's looking for it, but I don't feel the need to bring it up artificially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am agnostic as is my husband but we still don't go around advertising it.

Do you "advertise" what schools you went to, or where you were raised, or what kind of car you drive, or where you went on vacation? -- doubtful -- these are just parts of everyone's lives that they talk about freely -- the way people who have a religion mention it in conversation. We'll have arrived when people freely mention their lack of religion just as easily as they mention their religion or other aspects of their lives.

I disagree with the above post and agree that you don't need to go around advertising your belief system (or lack thereof). The car example is not event close to being the same. Schools somewhat as well. When I meet people socially, religion hardly ever comes up until people are close friends. If people mention their bible study or church whatever, it easy enough to make a few inane comments then change the subject. After 12 years in DC, I really can't remember a single time my religion came up in discussion.

Maybe so, but I suggest listening more closely, with an ear to noticing times when people mention their religion in passing, e.g.,, "last Sunday when we were coming back from Church...." A woman in by Bible study group said...."

It's not a matter of "going around advertising" - that very phraseology suggests the mentioning your lack of religion is boasting or talking out of school, whereas mentioning religion in passing is not seen that way.

I'd suggest listening less closely. Who cares what someone mentions in passing. It passes and then that's done. If it's persistent and in your face, that's a different thing, but grow some thicker skin at least. I don't want religious people to read into "I went for a long jog sunday morning" to be anti-religious.

+1

Next are you going to tell us it's a microaggression when people mention that they went to church on Sunday?

For god's sake (see what I did there?), sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. And if it's not--if the other person IS trying to make a point with their mention of church on Sunday--why do I care? Answer: I don't. She can try to make her point, but she can't make me receive it.

Not at all -- I think it's perfectly OK and natural to mention attending church (or wherever you've been) ll the context of your life -- and that it should be just as natural to mention your lack of religious belief when it comes up in conversation. I think that people are unknowingly programmed not to mention it, because it might be perceived as offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Then do it as a good deed, for the cause of atheists who do care. Check out this "Openly Secular" site -- short videos of people - some well known, most ordinary, who "come out" as secular. http://openlysecular.org

I'm guessing you're not apatheist. I don't want to make a public statement because I don't care. And I want other people to not care too. Model behavior.

Right, I'm not an apatheist -- and mentioning your lack of belief in conversation is not making a "Public statement." I suggested you take a look at the openly secular site so you (and others) could see what people who DO want to speak publicly have said.

Most people don't have your background. Right now, most people are raised with religion - in some cases very restrictive religion. People like you being just a little bit more open about their lack of belief could make a difference to people who are suffering because they are having difficulty leaving what they've been taught to believe.

I was not quick to talk about my atheism either, so when people mentioned their religion, I stayed quiet. I didn't want to draw attention to myself or hijack conversations and make people uncomfortable.

I've found though, that those things don't happen. Instead, people seem stunned and gloss over it or change the subject (fine with me). Or else they become very interested. They are non-believers too, or are thinking about it, and are delighted to have found someone willing to say it aloud.

I find the videos boring (which is a good sign!) probably because I live in DC. I hope it's a helpful message for those who are in strict religious settings.

But what you're suggesting is a subtle proselytizing, and that's just not me. I think it'd be obvious enough for someone who's looking for it, but I don't feel the need to bring it up artificially.

I'd say it seems like subtle proselytizing or "bringing it up artificially" because even mentioning lack of belief is not "done." It's not subtle proselytizing to say who you are, unless who you are is in some respect not socially acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am agnostic as is my husband but we still don't go around advertising it.

Do you "advertise" what schools you went to, or where you were raised, or what kind of car you drive, or where you went on vacation? -- doubtful -- these are just parts of everyone's lives that they talk about freely -- the way people who have a religion mention it in conversation. We'll have arrived when people freely mention their lack of religion just as easily as they mention their religion or other aspects of their lives.

I disagree with the above post and agree that you don't need to go around advertising your belief system (or lack thereof). The car example is not event close to being the same. Schools somewhat as well. When I meet people socially, religion hardly ever comes up until people are close friends. If people mention their bible study or church whatever, it easy enough to make a few inane comments then change the subject. After 12 years in DC, I really can't remember a single time my religion came up in discussion.

Maybe so, but I suggest listening more closely, with an ear to noticing times when people mention their religion in passing, e.g.,, "last Sunday when we were coming back from Church...." A woman in by Bible study group said...."

It's not a matter of "going around advertising" - that very phraseology suggests the mentioning your lack of religion is boasting or talking out of school, whereas mentioning religion in passing is not seen that way.

I'd suggest listening less closely. Who cares what someone mentions in passing. It passes and then that's done. If it's persistent and in your face, that's a different thing, but grow some thicker skin at least. I don't want religious people to read into "I went for a long jog sunday morning" to be anti-religious.

Agree -- And I don't want people to read into "I'm an atheist" to mean "I'm a bad person trying to make you uncomfortable."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am agnostic as is my husband but we still don't go around advertising it.

Do you "advertise" what schools you went to, or where you were raised, or what kind of car you drive, or where you went on vacation? -- doubtful -- these are just parts of everyone's lives that they talk about freely -- the way people who have a religion mention it in conversation. We'll have arrived when people freely mention their lack of religion just as easily as they mention their religion or other aspects of their lives.

I disagree with the above post and agree that you don't need to go around advertising your belief system (or lack thereof). The car example is not event close to being the same. Schools somewhat as well. When I meet people socially, religion hardly ever comes up until people are close friends. If people mention their bible study or church whatever, it easy enough to make a few inane comments then change the subject. After 12 years in DC, I really can't remember a single time my religion came up in discussion.

Maybe so, but I suggest listening more closely, with an ear to noticing times when people mention their religion in passing, e.g.,, "last Sunday when we were coming back from Church...." A woman in by Bible study group said...."

It's not a matter of "going around advertising" - that very phraseology suggests the mentioning your lack of religion is boasting or talking out of school, whereas mentioning religion in passing is not seen that way.

I'd suggest listening less closely. Who cares what someone mentions in passing. It passes and then that's done. If it's persistent and in your face, that's a different thing, but grow some thicker skin at least. I don't want religious people to read into "I went for a long jog sunday morning" to be anti-religious.

+1

Next are you going to tell us it's a microaggression when people mention that they went to church on Sunday?

For god's sake (see what I did there?), sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. And if it's not--if the other person IS trying to make a point with their mention of church on Sunday--why do I care? Answer: I don't. She can try to make her point, but she can't make me receive it.

Not at all -- I think it's perfectly OK and natural to mention attending church (or wherever you've been) ll the context of your life -- and that it should be just as natural to mention your lack of religious belief when it comes up in conversation. I think that people are unknowingly programmed not to mention it, because it might be perceived as offensive.

Yes, but you're assuming it comes up in conversation. And IME, it just doesn't. I don't consider someone saying, " I went to church on Sunday," an opening to talk about my views on god. I consider it an opportunity to talk about what we did over the weekend. So I would never reply, "I'm an atheist" to that statement, any more than I would say, "I don't like sushi." One has nothing to do with the other. Instead I would say, "I went running" or "I ran errands" or "we visited MIL."

On a very rare occasion, someone might ask if I go to church. Then I answer "no." I might expand, "we used to belong to a UU church, but I just found it such a hassle getting there. I prefer to read the paper on Sunday morning." But the question isn't about my belief in god, it's about my belonging to a religious community. If I belonged to some humanist group (which is actually what I perceive the UUs to be) or one of the secular groups mentioned above, I'd say that. I don't believe I've ever been asked by anyone if I go to church in a way that I found probing or judgmental or litmus test-like.

I'd say no more than once or twice in my adult life has anyone outside of my spouse or children talked to me about the existence of god. And then I say, "I don't believe."

It's true this is an issue that comes up more frequently for people living in religious communities or in the south. But I live in neither of those circumstances. It's also true that there are vegetarians living in meat eating places and looked down upon, but I don't feel like that makes it necessary for me to publicly wave the banner for vegetarians everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am agnostic as is my husband but we still don't go around advertising it.

Do you "advertise" what schools you went to, or where you were raised, or what kind of car you drive, or where you went on vacation? -- doubtful -- these are just parts of everyone's lives that they talk about freely -- the way people who have a religion mention it in conversation. We'll have arrived when people freely mention their lack of religion just as easily as they mention their religion or other aspects of their lives.

I disagree with the above post and agree that you don't need to go around advertising your belief system (or lack thereof). The car example is not event close to being the same. Schools somewhat as well. When I meet people socially, religion hardly ever comes up until people are close friends. If people mention their bible study or church whatever, it easy enough to make a few inane comments then change the subject. After 12 years in DC, I really can't remember a single time my religion came up in discussion.

Maybe so, but I suggest listening more closely, with an ear to noticing times when people mention their religion in passing, e.g.,, "last Sunday when we were coming back from Church...." A woman in by Bible study group said...."

It's not a matter of "going around advertising" - that very phraseology suggests the mentioning your lack of religion is boasting or talking out of school, whereas mentioning religion in passing is not seen that way.

I'd suggest listening less closely. Who cares what someone mentions in passing. It passes and then that's done. If it's persistent and in your face, that's a different thing, but grow some thicker skin at least. I don't want religious people to read into "I went for a long jog sunday morning" to be anti-religious.

Agree -- And I don't want people to read into "I'm an atheist" to mean "I'm a bad person trying to make you uncomfortable."

I don't either. But if that's the conclusion they draw, so be it. That's actually useful info for me to have--no need for me to pursue a friendship with someone like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I agree that evangelicals in the DC area get the eye rolling too. That is also wrong.
I like it when people say to atheists, "I don't care what you believe in, just as long as you believe in something"

Kidding right? I can't figure out what people mean when they say that -- something supernatural, no matter what it is? Why is that better than looking to the natural world for answers.

Yes. I was kidding about the second part.
Not kidding that it is wrong to bash evangelicals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am agnostic as is my husband but we still don't go around advertising it.

Do you "advertise" what schools you went to, or where you were raised, or what kind of car you drive, or where you went on vacation? -- doubtful -- these are just parts of everyone's lives that they talk about freely -- the way people who have a religion mention it in conversation. We'll have arrived when people freely mention their lack of religion just as easily as they mention their religion or other aspects of their lives.

I disagree with the above post and agree that you don't need to go around advertising your belief system (or lack thereof). The car example is not event close to being the same. Schools somewhat as well. When I meet people socially, religion hardly ever comes up until people are close friends. If people mention their bible study or church whatever, it easy enough to make a few inane comments then change the subject. After 12 years in DC, I really can't remember a single time my religion came up in discussion.

Maybe so, but I suggest listening more closely, with an ear to noticing times when people mention their religion in passing, e.g.,, "last Sunday when we were coming back from Church...." A woman in by Bible study group said...."

It's not a matter of "going around advertising" - that very phraseology suggests the mentioning your lack of religion is boasting or talking out of school, whereas mentioning religion in passing is not seen that way.

I'd suggest listening less closely. Who cares what someone mentions in passing. It passes and then that's done. If it's persistent and in your face, that's a different thing, but grow some thicker skin at least. I don't want religious people to read into "I went for a long jog sunday morning" to be anti-religious.

Agree -- And I don't want people to read into "I'm an atheist" to mean "I'm a bad person trying to make you uncomfortable."

I don't either. But if that's the conclusion they draw, so be it. That's actually useful info for me to have--no need for me to pursue a friendship with someone like that.

They won't draw that conclusion if you never say you're an atheist. The default is being religious, at some level, in our society. People assume you're religious unless you say you aren't. That will continue as long as people who are not religious perceive mentioning it in the context of a conversation to be "advertising" it.

There are some things you can't hide -- like dark skin. And some things you can change -- like a Jewish last name. But atheism can very effectively be hidden in our culture -- and it has been. If that continues however, so will the belief that atheists are bad people with no morals who try to push and advertise their beliefs simply by mentioning them in the same contextual way that religious people mention their beliefs now without a second thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am agnostic as is my husband but we still don't go around advertising it.

Do you "advertise" what schools you went to, or where you were raised, or what kind of car you drive, or where you went on vacation? -- doubtful -- these are just parts of everyone's lives that they talk about freely -- the way people who have a religion mention it in conversation. We'll have arrived when people freely mention their lack of religion just as easily as they mention their religion or other aspects of their lives.

I disagree with the above post and agree that you don't need to go around advertising your belief system (or lack thereof). The car example is not event close to being the same. Schools somewhat as well. When I meet people socially, religion hardly ever comes up until people are close friends. If people mention their bible study or church whatever, it easy enough to make a few inane comments then change the subject. After 12 years in DC, I really can't remember a single time my religion came up in discussion.

Maybe so, but I suggest listening more closely, with an ear to noticing times when people mention their religion in passing, e.g.,, "last Sunday when we were coming back from Church...." A woman in by Bible study group said...."

It's not a matter of "going around advertising" - that very phraseology suggests the mentioning your lack of religion is boasting or talking out of school, whereas mentioning religion in passing is not seen that way.

I'd suggest listening less closely. Who cares what someone mentions in passing. It passes and then that's done. If it's persistent and in your face, that's a different thing, but grow some thicker skin at least. I don't want religious people to read into "I went for a long jog sunday morning" to be anti-religious.

+1

Next are you going to tell us it's a microaggression when people mention that they went to church on Sunday?

For god's sake (see what I did there?), sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. And if it's not--if the other person IS trying to make a point with their mention of church on Sunday--why do I care? Answer: I don't. She can try to make her point, but she can't make me receive it.

Not at all -- I think it's perfectly OK and natural to mention attending church (or wherever you've been) ll the context of your life -- and that it should be just as natural to mention your lack of religious belief when it comes up in conversation. I think that people are unknowingly programmed not to mention it, because it might be perceived as offensive.

Yes, but you're assuming it comes up in conversation. And IME, it just doesn't. I don't consider someone saying, " I went to church on Sunday," an opening to talk about my views on god. I consider it an opportunity to talk about what we did over the weekend. So I would never reply, "I'm an atheist" to that statement, any more than I would say, "I don't like sushi." One has nothing to do with the other. Instead I would say, "I went running" or "I ran errands" or "we visited MIL."

On a very rare occasion, someone might ask if I go to church. Then I answer "no." I might expand, "we used to belong to a UU church, but I just found it such a hassle getting there. I prefer to read the paper on Sunday morning." But the question isn't about my belief in god, it's about my belonging to a religious community. If I belonged to some humanist group (which is actually what I perceive the UUs to be) or one of the secular groups mentioned above, I'd say that. I don't believe I've ever been asked by anyone if I go to church in a way that I found probing or judgmental or litmus test-like.

I'd say no more than once or twice in my adult life has anyone outside of my spouse or children talked to me about the existence of god. And then I say, "I don't believe."

It's true this is an issue that comes up more frequently for people living in religious communities or in the south. But I live in neither of those circumstances. It's also true that there are vegetarians living in meat eating places and looked down upon, but I don't feel like that makes it necessary for me to publicly wave the banner for vegetarians everywhere.