Reply to How old were you when you safely came out of the closet as an atheist?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am agnostic as is my husband but we still don't go around advertising it.[/quote]

Do you "advertise" what schools you went to, or where you were raised, or what kind of car you drive, or where you went on vacation? -- doubtful -- these are just parts of everyone's lives that they talk about freely -- the way people who have a religion mention it in conversation.   We'll have arrived when people freely mention their lack of religion just as easily as they mention their religion or other aspects of their lives.[/quote]

I disagree with the above post and agree that you don't need to go around advertising your belief system (or lack thereof). The car example is not event close to being the same. Schools somewhat as well. When I meet people socially, religion hardly ever comes up until people are close friends. If people mention their bible study or church whatever, it easy enough to make a few inane comments then change the subject. After 12 years in DC, I really can't remember a single time my religion came up in discussion.[/quote]

Maybe so, but I suggest listening more closely, with an ear to noticing times when people mention their religion in passing, e.g.,, "last Sunday when we were coming back from Church...."  A woman in by Bible study group said...."

It's not a matter of "going around advertising" - that very phraseology suggests the mentioning your lack of religion is boasting or talking out of school, whereas mentioning religion in passing is not seen that way. [/quote]

I'd suggest listening less closely.  Who cares what someone mentions [u]in passing[/u].  It passes and then that's done.  If it's persistent and in your face, that's a different thing, but grow some thicker skin at least.  I don't want religious people to read into "I went for a long jog sunday morning" to be anti-religious.[/quote]

Next are you going to tell us[b] it's a microaggression when people mention that they went to church on Sunday?[/b]

For god's sake (see what I did there?), sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. And if it's not--if the other person IS trying to make a point with their mention of church on Sunday--why do I care? Answer: I don't. She can try to make her point, but she can't make me receive it.[/quote]

Not at all -- I think it's perfectly OK and natural to mention attending church (or wherever you've been) ll the context of your life  -- and that it should be just as natural to mention your lack of religious belief when it comes up in conversation.  I think that people are unknowingly programmed not to mention it, because it might be perceived as offensive.[/quote]

Yes, but you're assuming it comes up in conversation. And IME, it just doesn't. I don't consider someone saying, " I went to church on Sunday," an opening to talk about my views on god. I consider it an opportunity to talk about what we did over the weekend. So I would never reply, "I'm an atheist" to that statement, any more than I would say, "I don't like sushi." One has nothing to do with the other. Instead I would say, "I went running" or "I ran errands" or "we visited MIL."

On a very rare occasion, someone might ask if I go to church. Then I answer "no." I might expand, "we used to belong to a UU church, but I just found it such a hassle getting there. I prefer to read the paper on Sunday morning." But the question isn't about my belief in god, it's about my belonging to a religious community. If I belonged to some humanist group (which is actually what I perceive the UUs to be) or one of the secular groups mentioned above, I'd say that. I don't believe I've ever been asked by anyone if I go to church in a way that I found probing or judgmental or litmus test-like.

I'd say no more than once or twice in my adult life has anyone outside of my spouse or children talked to me about the existence of god. And then I say, "I don't believe."

It's true this is an issue that comes up more frequently for people living in religious communities or in the south. But I live in neither of those circumstances. It's also true that there are vegetarians living in meat eating places and looked down upon, but I don't feel like that makes it necessary for me to publicly wave the banner for vegetarians everywhere.[/quote]

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