My Best Friend's Wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just know you know, there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

What does the mean? I know he isn't perfect. We were together for 5 years, even living together at one point. I know he's not a god.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op sorry but you sound demented and a bit psycho and obsessive. You honestly need talk therapy to work through this. What you are feeling is not healthy and interfering with living your life. Once the fiancé figures out you still have such strong feelings and how you feel about her I wouldn't be surprised if she convinces your "best friend" to cut ties with you. And would you blame her? She didn't steal him from you or prevent him from fulfilling his destiny to marry you. You ex doesn't love you like you want or like you love him. He doesn't now and won't ever. That ship has sailed. I don't care if you are so close to him or his family. It's over, it's been over, you won't get back together. You're wasting your time, energy and life obsessing over this. Seriously, cut ties, get therapy and start living the real life you deserve. This one isn't it.

This is true, OP. Not that you're demented but you are not portraying yourself in a healthy light. I think you are convinced that if he hadn't met her, you would've been together, but it just isn't so. If he breaks up with her, it won't change anything. You need to fully grasp that in order to move on. Wish him well and find your own happiness. Hating her will poison you.

Does he know you feel this way?

Y'all sound like my girlfriend. She calls it " Keeping it real."

I don't know how to explain it before she came into the picture we were back to being really close again, almost like how it was before we officially got together.
People keep telling me to move on and live my life. This is my life? Why should I have to move to a new city and make new friends because of her?
Do I have to give up my dog too? Yes, we got a dog together when were dating, and he lives with me, but he sees him. Am I supposed to give my dog to her too, because oh wells she's won.

Why am I wrong for wanting us back together? It happens. You hear about it all the time couples that split up sometimes more than once and end up together in the end.
Why is it wrong that I care about him and don't want anyone to hurt him? Like I said before he's attractive and makes good money, , and he's a guy so he doesn't see gold diggers as clearly as I do.

My title was a little dramatic. They aren't getting married. They aren't engaged yet, but I'm worried it could happen.
He's only dated 2 people longer than 6 months and that's me and his former fiancee, so maybe she isn't the one.
Like I said before current girl is not like his exes, not his type.
No , I've never said anything to him. I didn't think I had to.
What am I supposed to say now? If I say anything now I'd look like a desperate nut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op sorry but you sound demented and a bit psycho and obsessive. You honestly need talk therapy to work through this. What you are feeling is not healthy and interfering with living your life. Once the fiancé figures out you still have such strong feelings and how you feel about her I wouldn't be surprised if she convinces your "best friend" to cut ties with you. And would you blame her? She didn't steal him from you or prevent him from fulfilling his destiny to marry you. You ex doesn't love you like you want or like you love him. He doesn't now and won't ever. That ship has sailed. I don't care if you are so close to him or his family. It's over, it's been over, you won't get back together. You're wasting your time, energy and life obsessing over this. Seriously, cut ties, get therapy and start living the real life you deserve. This one isn't it.

This is true, OP. Not that you're demented but you are not portraying yourself in a healthy light. I think you are convinced that if he hadn't met her, you would've been together, but it just isn't so. If he breaks up with her, it won't change anything. You need to fully grasp that in order to move on. Wish him well and find your own happiness. Hating her will poison you.

Does he know you feel this way?

Y'all sound like my girlfriend. She calls it " Keeping it real."

I don't know how to explain it before she came into the picture we were back to being really close again, almost like how it was before we officially got together.
People keep telling me to move on and live my life. This is my life? Why should I have to move to a new city and make new friends because of her?
Do I have to give up my dog too? Yes, we got a dog together when were dating, and he lives with me, but he sees him. Am I supposed to give my dog to her too, because oh wells she's won.

Why am I wrong for wanting us back together? It happens. You hear about it all the time couples that split up sometimes more than once and end up together in the end.
Why is it wrong that I care about him and don't want anyone to hurt him? Like I said before he's attractive and makes good money, , and he's a guy so he doesn't see gold diggers as clearly as I do.

My title was a little dramatic. They aren't getting married. They aren't engaged yet, but I'm worried it could happen.
He's only dated 2 people longer than 6 months and that's me and his former fiancee, so maybe she isn't the one.
Like I said before current girl is not like his exes, not his type.
No , I've never said anything to him. I didn't think I had to.
What am I supposed to say now? If I say anything now I'd look like a desperate nut.

Because it doesn't matter about those other women, if he wanted you, y'all would be together. It really is that simple. There would be no other woman, his type or otherwise. If he wanted you, y'all would be together. No amount of you wanting and wishing is changing the fact that this man doesn't want you. That is the part that you refuse to acknowledge and accept. Free your mind and your ass will follow OP.

[Anonymous]

"Move on" doesn't need you need to move away and give up your friends. You need therapy, and to not see this guy for a while. Try dating someone else to get your mind in a different place. He doesn't want you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How though? I hate the thought of losing him, and the idea of cutting him out of my life hurts.

Having him in your life seems to hurt, too, though. At least if you moved on entirely, it would be painful at first, then get better with time.

Where as it sounds like having him IN your life will always be hurtful.

[Anonymous]

It's hard not to be around him. It only hurts when she is around, which is a lot lately, or when he talks about her, which is also alot.
I feel so stupid. I wonder if I had done something differently.
This sucks.
It really sucks that she's the one to get to have him after all these years, and I'm left on my own with a dog.
At least it's not a cat right?

[Anonymous]

Dont do that to yourself -- it's likely nothing you did or didn't do..

[Anonymous]

I'm at the wedding.
It's cocktail hour,with no cocktails, my guest is late, and I'm sharing a table with him and the new girl.
They're holding hands under the table, and have started a really stupid game.
Kill me now!
Oh and they keep making goofy faces at each other.
At least they aren't kissing.
Bar needs to hurry up and open and my friend needs to get her arse here!

[Anonymous]

Let it go.
He's. Just. Not. Into. You.
Sorry.
If he wanted to be with you he wouldn't be holding HER hand under the table. You need some tough love here.

[Anonymous]

You are behaving like I did when I was 12 and thought I was going to marry Justin Timberlake. You are refusing to accept reality.
Reality has been pointed out to you several times. You need to accept it. Repeat it yourself several times a day.
Let. Him. Go. Sing it to yourself if you must.
The girlfriend must be really secure or really stupid to let you still hang around knowing you have feelings for her boyfriend.
Believe there is someone. Someone else out there for you.

[Anonymous]

You're in love with your dramatic storyline here, OP. When you learn to love real life and your future more than the stories you get to tell over happy hour, you'll move on.

[Anonymous]

I actually ended up having a great time last night, once the bar opened and my friend showed up.
The 4 of us plus a couple of others went out for drinks after the wedding, and that was good too.
The only hard part was when they cut out early , and left together.
Yes, I was expecting it, but it still stung a little, but I was able to enjoy the rest of the night with my girlfriend. Awesome, because we haven't had a girl's night in forever. Actually a little hungover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're in love with your dramatic storyline here, OP. When you learn to love real life and your future more than the stories you get to tell over happy hour, you'll move on.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually ended up having a great time last night, once the bar opened and my friend showed up.
The 4 of us plus a couple of others went out for drinks after the wedding, and that was good too.
The only hard part was when they cut out early , and left together.
Yes, I was expecting it, but it still stung a little, but I was able to enjoy the rest of the night with my girlfriend. Awesome, because we haven't had a girl's night in forever. Actually a little hungover.

You haven't read a thing anyone here has said, so, good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

I vote that you confess to him how you really feel then you both can get married or break up your friendship.