Anyone else's middle schooler end up friendless this Halloween?

[Anonymous]

My DD was on her own last night. I think she felt somewhat bad about it, and I felt bad for her, but on the other hand she didn't really make much effort to organize anything with friends. In the past she has gone with us and her younger sister; this year was the first year she didn't want to do that. But I think she will survive...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are all older now, but we had some Halloweens like this when they were in middle school. I recall one year when my son was like 13 and his plans with some other kids fell through. It was pretty rough. I mentioned it to my son (now in college) the other day. He didn't even remember it! Huh, go figure.

Right . . . bc it was NO big deal. These are just normal parts of growing up and everyone has had times where they are friendless or plans fall thru or whatever. It doesn't scar you for life, unlike what all the mommies on here think as they hastily try to intervene every time their snowflake's feelings are mildly hurt.

+1!

And I understand having a kid who doesn't have a friend to TOT with. I encouraged my DD to ask her friends what they were doing or invite them to come to our neighborhood. She was reluctant, but eventually she had some conversation or overheard them and she told me they already had plans. So, DD was going to go with little bro and his friend.... but she got sick, so was sitting home with a temp of 103. It's halloween, it's not the biggest, most important deal in the world. There are things one can do == i.e. go with sibling, offer to take neighborhood kids around, give out treats at one's own house, go TOT anyway, or have fun at home watching a movie with parents. All are legitimate.

Kids like my DD need to have these moments to motivate them to build friendships. Building friendships takes effort for introverts, but if they want to have friends (and that is an "if") -- they need to be a friend. Live and learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i saw a ton of tweens and teens tonight. Also saw a group of adults dressed up with no kids with them-that both pissed me off and concerned me...

That was me and let me explain so you can rest well tonight:

My kids love it when we dress up, and we all spend lots of fun family time picking out outfits, designing them and making them.

They are old enough to run ahead a little bit, but not old enough to be out without parental supervision, so we probably did look like we were alone. In fact, some neighbors were probably equally concerned and pissed off that they were out unsupervised at the same time you were equally pissed off and concerned that we were childless and walking around in costume.

Hope this sheds some light on this phenomenon for next year.

Were you asking for candy at each door? I don't think so. The pp was not talking about you or groups of parents nearby their kids.

??? That poster said no such thing (was it you? Fess up)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are all older now, but we had some Halloweens like this when they were in middle school. I recall one year when my son was like 13 and his plans with some other kids fell through. It was pretty rough. I mentioned it to my son (now in college) the other day. He didn't even remember it! Huh, go figure.

Right . . . bc it was NO big deal. These are just normal parts of growing up and everyone has had times where they are friendless or plans fall thru or whatever. It doesn't scar you for life, unlike what all the mommies on here think as they hastily try to intervene every time their snowflake's feelings are mildly hurt.

+1!

And I understand having a kid who doesn't have a friend to TOT with. I encouraged my DD to ask her friends what they were doing or invite them to come to our neighborhood. She was reluctant, but eventually she had some conversation or overheard them and she told me they already had plans. So, DD was going to go with little bro and his friend.... but she got sick, so was sitting home with a temp of 103. It's halloween, it's not the biggest, most important deal in the world. There are things one can do == i.e. go with sibling, offer to take neighborhood kids around, give out treats at one's own house, go TOT anyway, or have fun at home watching a movie with parents. All are legitimate.

Kids like my DD need to have these moments to motivate them to build friendships. Building friendships takes effort for introverts, but if they want to have friends (and that is an "if") -- they need to be a friend. Live and learn.

I think the issue is that the rude PP is failing to see that commiserating with other parents online is a far cry from orchestrating every social interaction for our "special snowflakes"

In our case (OP here) halloween is a very big and social holiday for our family. Our younger elementary kids are social butterfly types and organized a big group to go out with and even a post ToTing yard party with their friends. The MS kid has a lot of casual friends but every attempt to make a plan this year fell through. If I or the other parents here had organized things or even sent out a few texts we surely could have found someone/something for the MS to do last night, but we didn't. MS is the time for them to figure that out on their own and there is nothing wrong to feel badly for them when they weren't successful and are bummed at being alone when all the other kids are out with friends or at parties.

[Anonymous]

Thankfully, no, he went with a couple of friends as it turned out. We are new to our neighborhood so I wasn't sure if he would be able to arrange it but I was happy to see it all work out. He wasn't out long but he had fun handing out candy after he went TOT. We watched a scary movie and ate some candy.

[Anonymous]

My freshman in HS had a few friends over for pizza and then later they went out ToT. Lots of older kids came to our door this year...more than in past year. I think it is great.

[Anonymous]

Middle school can be so rough....