Adam4Adam

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't confront him directly about the app. You're not married, and it's not clear if he was actually "hooking-up" or just window-shopping, or even just curious. I'm also not sure what the circumstances were that you were going through his cell, but that could be an issue as well.

If he's gay, and in the closet, the direct confrontation route will probably just result in him making up some desperate lie. A positive outcome is unlikely when someone is caught off-guard like that.

Instead, I would try to find indirect ways of figuring out what his sexuality, without seeming threatening or "judgy." As I get older, I am realizing that sexuality is not nearly as black or white as we led to believe, so try to resist the calls to just throw him into the "duh! he's gay!" bucket.

Obviously, if you're exclusive, and you have reason to believe that he's shtupping other people (male or female) then you've got a problem.

yes, we have been exclusive- at least I thought we were....I want him to be happy, but being in a bi relationship is not what I want....I just have to find the right way to bring it up... I can't think of any reason why he would be conversing with someone from that site if he isn't gay or bi....

OP, there is no "right" way to bring it up. It is just an awful conversation and you need to get out. Do not believe a word he says . There is no reasonable explanation. Your gut was already telling you that you had a problem and now you know for sure.

What is the point of bringing it up if you just assume that he will lie.

[Anonymous]

What were his behaviors that had you suspicious in the first place? Obviously your relationship has had troubles, right?

[Anonymous]

The responses on the other thread weren't all snarky.

[Anonymous]

Send me his number and I'll find out if he is gay. But I can't promise you will get him back (although that might be doing you another favor as well)

[Anonymous]

Are you happier with the responses over here OP? The consensus is still that he's bi or gay, probably cheating, and you either need to decide to accept that or get out.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it's a borderline male prostitution site where people go to have lots of sex. I would get tested and I am concerned that he is in the school system.

Was with you until the bolded.

Sexual misconduct whether gay or not is a violation

Being on a dating website is not a violation. Having sex is not a violation, even if it's with multiple people, outside a relationship. A person's private life is private.

it's not a dating site, feel free to google it or open it at work

Touché..but it's not mandatory

Oh please it's no different then tinder or any straight hook up sight. I had it on my phone for close to 2 years and hooked up 1 time in that whole time frame

The difference is that if you are a good looking man on a gay hook up site, you can hook up within the hour if you so choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What were his behaviors that had you suspicious in the first place? Obviously your relationship has had troubles, right?

All of a sudden texting constantly, changed his phone access code...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you happier with the responses over here OP? The consensus is still that he's bi or gay, probably cheating, and you either need to decide to accept that or get out.

Good luck.

Yes, more "level headed" Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses on the other thread weren't all snarky.

They started out that way...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What were his behaviors that had you suspicious in the first place? Obviously your relationship has had troubles, right?

All of a sudden texting constantly, changed his phone access code...

Texting constantly is even worse. Sorry, OP. He was planning to go through with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses on the other thread weren't all snarky.

They started out that way...

There are boneheads over there and good people too. I have posted on both threads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Oh please it's no different then tinder or any straight hook up sight. I had it on my phone for close to 2 years and hooked up 1 time in that whole time frame

If it were Ashley Madison, I'd say he was just browsing and not to worry. A gay hookup site is not for browsing. Craigslist might be for browsing, but if she saw the texts, she should know if he was exchanging pictures or trying to meet up. I can't imagine too many guys swap pictures and stories without going further.

[Anonymous]

The issue isn't if he's bi. I'm bi and have been completely faithful for 18 years. The issue is if he's cheating on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chances that he is just curious are very slim. Your boyfriend is either gay or bi. If you can't accept that, find a reason to bail.

Any other indications he may be gay other than this? Also, I second getting tested for STDs.

The other indication is that we've never had sex...so at least I don't have to worry about the STD issue....

[Anonymous]

You're exclusive, but haven't had sex? You've just crossed into the territory of unbelievable. Good luck, op.