450k hhi - lifestyle (cars, houses)

[Anonymous]

This has to be fake or he wants to give himself a personal partner bonus.

What's the partnership buy-in, i.e. how much do you have to pay the firm over the next five years? 250K?

Also, you will now have to buy your own healthcare; ours costs $12K a year.

Oh, and you'll like go to a higher tax bracket, so that's more money.

Talk to your accountant, because you will now have to file individual taxes three times a year: gotta save for that. Also, at the end of the year you'll have to pay state taxes in every state the firm has an office. FYI, It can add up.

It's likely that he'll bring home less this year than he did last year.

Welcome to the lovely world of law firm partnership.

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing he needs to do a better job with his appearance - frequent haircuts, better quality suits & shoes (especially shoes!), maybe a nice watch, new glasses if he wears them, maybe regular manicures to keep his nails looking nice.

I wouldn't automatically assume they meant house and car (although maybe on the car, depending on the setting - but seems hard to believe in DC). I'm guessing he needs to "up his game" in terms of his look personally.

Drop some money on a new wardrobe (casual and suits) using a personal shopper at Nordstrom's, schedule weekly haircuts, make sure his shaving is daily and well-done, use dry cleaning liberally (even things like nice socks and keeping them looking nice/not faded is important) and go from there.

[Anonymous]

I have worked at a Biglaw firm for years. I know generally where everyone lives, but have no idea what their houses are like. I have been in the cars of a handful of them, but only those who are my friends or people I work really closely with a lot. They don't mean house and cars. They mean his appearance. Nicer clothes and shoes. Neater and higher end. Nice watch. Expensive haircut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing he needs to do a better job with his appearance - frequent haircuts, better quality suits & shoes (especially shoes!), maybe a nice watch, new glasses if he wears them, maybe regular manicures to keep his nails looking nice.

I wouldn't automatically assume they meant house and car (although maybe on the car, depending on the setting - but seems hard to believe in DC). I'm guessing he needs to "up his game" in terms of his look personally.

Drop some money on a new wardrobe (casual and suits) using a personal shopper at Nordstrom's, schedule weekly haircuts, make sure his shaving is daily and well-done, use dry cleaning liberally (even things like nice socks and keeping them looking nice/not faded is important) and go from there.

Can someone name a firm in DC where it is expected that partners get manicures? He would be mercilessly traded at the two big firms where i have worked. There was one fancy partner who always had nice clothes and the associates made a name behind his back which I won't repeat here but it was funny. All the other tired partners looked (and look) frumpy. But these were DC founded and based law firms. Maybe New York or LA firms have more of a television thing going on. But it's tough to look good when you're bleary eyed.

[Anonymous]

Op, this has nothing to do with his house or private schools. Your dh is scruffy looking, spruce him up. He needs a good suit and shoes

[Anonymous]

He definitely needs to focus on looking professional. TBH clients really don't like their lawyers to be showy with cars and houses. It reminds them how much they are paying for legal services. Most firms these days try to be a little more sensitive to that. So unless his clients are all investment bankers (in which case they'd be in NY anyway) he's getting bad advice from the partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing he needs to do a better job with his appearance - frequent haircuts, better quality suits & shoes (especially shoes!), maybe a nice watch, new glasses if he wears them, maybe regular manicures to keep his nails looking nice.

I wouldn't automatically assume they meant house and car (although maybe on the car, depending on the setting - but seems hard to believe in DC). I'm guessing he needs to "up his game" in terms of his look personally.

Drop some money on a new wardrobe (casual and suits) using a personal shopper at Nordstrom's, schedule weekly haircuts, make sure his shaving is daily and well-done, use dry cleaning liberally (even things like nice socks and keeping them looking nice/not faded is important) and go from there.

Can someone name a firm in DC where it is expected that partners get manicures? He would be mercilessly traded at the two big firms where i have worked. There was one fancy partner who always had nice clothes and the associates made a name behind his back which I won't repeat here but it was funny. All the other tired partners looked (and look) frumpy. But these were DC founded and based law firms. Maybe New York or LA firms have more of a television thing going on. But it's tough to look good when you're bleary eyed.

Or, a weekly haircut?

Very funny.

[Anonymous]

I work in-house at a Fortune 100 company, with a satellite office in DC. We have a large budget for outside counsel.

I can personally tell you that our company does not care what type of car our outside counsel drive, or even how a person looks. One of our best antitrust lawyers is brilliant, and his big law firm seems to allow him to look pretty disheveled most of the time.

I would just do what's comfortable for you.

And be mindful that your DH may burn out in his 40's (as happened to my DH and many of my friends). It depends on the practice area, the firm, the constitution of the individual lawyer, how a person handles stress etc.

Last week, I read an article in the Wall Street Journal about how big law firms (mostly in NY) are adding expensive amenities to their offices to impress clients. I can guarantee that that would not impress our General Counsel or any of the lawyers in our office. We just look for very smart outside counsel that are good at keeping a lid on expenses and are mindful of their clients who are paying the bills.

If your DH has gotten this far, he's a smart guy. Congrats to him on making partner, as that is a big achievement. I'd enjoy his success a bit, but save a ton as you'll then have lots of money when you're older (due to compounding).

[Anonymous]

We are close to your projected HHI, but live like we make $150k. We felt this same pressure to keep up w/ the Joneses for appearance purposes. Honestly, its overblown.

If you must show off for job purposes:

-Pressure: Buy an expensive new luxury car; Suggestion: buy a used luxury car. You can get an audi wagon or BMW SUV for under $30k.
-Pressure: buy bigger/newer home; Suggestion: Get some simple renovation work done. We ended up staying in our neighborhood (TKPK MD) and just added an office room to our house ($75k home equity loan). He mainly uses it as a man cave, but occasionally he will entertain or see clients there. Purchased home from $400k- mortgage is about $2,300.
-Pressure: put kids in prestigious private school; Suggestion: If in PS schools and they are doing well: nothing. Support your children where there are emotionally and academically. If you want to expose them to more, you certainly have the financial resources to do so, at will. Private school is not necessary unless your local school truly is undeserving your child. We send our LOs to Piney Branch ES and Blair HS respectively in MoCo. Both are doing great despite both school's high % of "FARMS" kids, which many people seem to complain about on these boards.

The only thing I do think would be worth the investment is clothes. Make sure your DH buys at least five well tailored suits. And good shoes. I would spend a little more on these as people notice, and quite frankly, they last longer so you end up spending less in the long run, than where my husband used to get his suits (Macys).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing he needs to do a better job with his appearance - frequent haircuts, better quality suits & shoes (especially shoes!), maybe a nice watch, new glasses if he wears them, maybe regular manicures to keep his nails looking nice.

I wouldn't automatically assume they meant house and car (although maybe on the car, depending on the setting - but seems hard to believe in DC). I'm guessing he needs to "up his game" in terms of his look personally.

Drop some money on a new wardrobe (casual and suits) using a personal shopper at Nordstrom's, schedule weekly haircuts, make sure his shaving is daily and well-done, use dry cleaning liberally (even things like nice socks and keeping them looking nice/not faded is important) and go from there.

Can someone name a firm in DC where it is expected that partners get manicures? He would be mercilessly traded at the two big firms where i have worked. There was one fancy partner who always had nice clothes and the associates made a name behind his back which I won't repeat here but it was funny. All the other tired partners looked (and look) frumpy. But these were DC founded and based law firms. Maybe New York or LA firms have more of a television thing going on. But it's tough to look good when you're bleary eyed.

Or, a weekly haircut?

Very funny.

That would be Bald, Balder and Balding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are close to your projected HHI, but live like we make $150k. We felt this same pressure to keep up w/ the Joneses for appearance purposes. Honestly, its overblown.

If you must show off for job purposes:

-Pressure: Buy an expensive new luxury car; Suggestion: buy a used luxury car. You can get an audi wagon or BMW SUV for under $30k.
-Pressure: buy bigger/newer home; Suggestion: Get some simple renovation work done. We ended up staying in our neighborhood (TKPK MD) and just added an office room to our house ($75k home equity loan). He mainly uses it as a man cave, but occasionally he will entertain or see clients there. Purchased home from $400k- mortgage is about $2,300.
-Pressure: put kids in prestigious private school; Suggestion: If in PS schools and they are doing well: nothing. Support your children where there are emotionally and academically. If you want to expose them to more, you certainly have the financial resources to do so, at will. Private school is not necessary unless your local school truly is undeserving your child. We send our LOs to Piney Branch ES and Blair HS respectively in MoCo. Both are doing great despite both school's high % of "FARMS" kids, which many people seem to complain about on these boards.

The only thing I do think would be worth the investment is clothes. Make sure your DH buys at least five well tailored suits. And good shoes. I would spend a little more on these as people notice, and quite frankly, they last longer so you end up spending less in the long run, than where my husband used to get his suits (Macys).

+1. We are a 500k household and yes, it doesn't go far if you drive brand new luxury cars, send kids to private schools and live in a 1.5mil house. We do have a luxury SUV (M350) which we bought for 36k, we enjoy it as a family because it's a smooth and comfortable ride. I drive a VW Jetta, we live in a 750k home in Wooton HS area, kids go to public schools. We both have good wardrobes, buy quality clothes and shoes and take good care of them. Sure, do classy, quality stuff but don't fall into the keeping up with the joneses trap. GL with the promotion!

[Anonymous]

This thread is a joke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This doesn't sound like the experience of any of the partners I know. More like something from The Firm.

Why did I think the same?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This must not be a DC law firm. Partners here are generally frumpy and drive old cars.

This. Plus who really gets into a law partner's car? This is stupid. I do expect your husband just needs to dress a little better.

[Anonymous]

Tell your husband to go to Brooks Brothers for clothes (get the sales!) and buy nice shoes on Nordstrom rack or Off Saks. Forget the crap about fancy cars and houses, no one cares. Your husband probably dresses like crap and that's the problem