Are 3 year Olds expected to wipe themselves thoroughly?

[Anonymous]

my six year old can't wipe her butt thoroughly

and yes, we are working on this and no, I don't expect her teachers to help her.

In my opinion a 3 year old is a different story, but I understand the teacher's discomfort. Can you provide flush-able wet wipes for him to bring to school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IME this is one of the differences between daycares and preschools. In the stand-alone preschools the teachers saw themselves as educators. They wore fancier clothes than I did and came to school very put-together. At the daycares where we have done part-time care the employees, even though there was a curriculum, were caretakers and cleaning up a kid was not a big deal for them. One day my four year old had a poop accident at the preschool--the only one ever--and they were completely apoplectic.

As they should be. Four is way too old...disgusting.

Do you actually have kids? It was an accident. Sheesh.

I know..I see these remarks on here and I gotta wonder if this is actually a parent who has dealt with actual children. Living breathing little people who are still learning a lot. A four year old having a poop accident is not unheard of and while I would not expect teachers to enjoy having to deal with this, I would expect them to be understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IME this is one of the differences between daycares and preschools. In the stand-alone preschools the teachers saw themselves as educators. They wore fancier clothes than I did and came to school very put-together. At the daycares where we have done part-time care the employees, even though there was a curriculum, were caretakers and cleaning up a kid was not a big deal for them. One day my four year old had a poop accident at the preschool--the only one ever--and they were completely apoplectic.

OP here. My son was in a daycare for PDO, half day, once or twice a week. They definitely wiped bums, so it didn't occur to me that preschool teachers wouldn't do it.

DS came home dirty again today , looks like I need to start working on this skill more.

It's so strange, until now, he never ever pooped outside our home, so I'm surprised he's going at school now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't have asked the teacher. Just do a bath when the kid gets home.

Not all kids get rashes. That's not true.

OP again. DS was scratching his bum, not from a rash, but just from the poop. I'm not blaming the teacher. It's just an unpleasant rude awakening!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three year olds are not expected to be perfect wipers, and preschool teachers are not expected to help kids wipe.

This.

I think my daughter was 6 before she was 100% with wiping (and even then she used an awful lot of TP to manage it), but she never had teachers help her with wiping. (Daycare teachers, yes; DCPS PK teachers, no.)

But she usually waited until she got home to poop, so it wasn't an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three year olds are not expected to be perfect wipers, and preschool teachers are not expected to help kids wipe.

This.

[Anonymous]

My understanding is it is a liability issue. They do not want to be accused of misconduct. Its common teachers will not wipe after 3. Kids do the best they can and get a bath at night.

[Anonymous]

No they don't help them at this age. Just have a little soak bucket at home for the tread marks. And a quick shower or bath to wash off the bum. Too bad Americans aren't big into bidets. That's what they're for.

Eventually they get it.

[Anonymous]

My 3 yr old does an okay job - not perfect but okay. I would never ever expect or want anyone to help him at school. It is okay if it is not perfect. I can clean him up when he gets home.

[Anonymous]

DS was independent at 3.5. DD is almost 5 and needs a lot of help still. Sometimes she completely forgets to wipe. At our old daycare they wouldn't help at all in the 3 yo room even if help was requested. At our new daycare they will help a child if they request assistance in the 4 y room. Unfortunately DD never asks for help. She will get it eventually.

[Anonymous]

I teach 3 year olds. I don't wipe them. Most of them don't poop at school (it's a half day program). But I will suggest using more TP or wiping again until the TP is clean.

If I spent time focusing on wiping a child's bottom, I would lose sight of the other handful of children using the bathroom at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS was independent at 3.5. DD is almost 5 and needs a lot of help still. Sometimes she completely forgets to wipe. At our old daycare they wouldn't help at all in the 3 yo room even if help was requested. At our new daycare they will help a child if they request assistance in the 4 y room. Unfortunately DD never asks for help. She will get it eventually.

make her do it at home? keep sending her back in there until the job is done? don't help and eventually she'll get it.

[Anonymous]

At our daycare once they moved to the preschool room (as early as 2.5) the teachers no loner helped. She came home with skid marks frequently for a while but had it down mostly by 3. Even now at almost 5 though once a month or so she'll have marks if she's had a soft poop.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, my now-13 year old (who I'm proud to say has finally gotten the hang of it...I think ), wasn't a proficient wiper at 3. Not by a long shot. I remember this because his dad called me once for help because they "were having a stand-off," as he put it, about who was supposed to wipe him. After I got done rolling my eyes, I explained to his father that three year olds need help here sometimes.

[Anonymous]

This has been such a fascinating thread (I know, how sad I find the topic of bum-wiping exciting?).

My 3-year-old is at a daycare in Alexandria and the teachers all help the kids with wiping. It would never have occurred to me that they wouldn't. Sadly, my DD isn't potty trained yet (like some of her classmates) and we'd be in serious trouble if the teachers wouldn't help out on this.

Interesting to hear that there are different schools of thought on this.