Are 3 year Olds expected to wipe themselves thoroughly?

[Anonymous]

Mine still needs help "getting it all." He wipes but not always very well, and depending on what the poop was like (wet vs. hard), he might or might not get it all clean.

I understand that a lot of preschools have the opinion of yours -- that the teachers shouldn't help with this. My DS just started a new school, so I'm not sure what the situation will be there, but they accept kids in diapers or potty trained. In cases like this (vs. must be potty trained), I think teachers are most likely to be willing to help wipe, as they would have to if the kid was in diapers.

If it's only a half-day program, many kids might wait to poop at home. Some kids don't feel comfortable pooping in a different place. That might be why the teacher has had less experience with this (although honestly, it seems odd that she would be surprised by this very common need).

My DS usually asks me to wipe for him and wants wet wipes rather than regular TP whenever he can get them. I'm not sure if he would ask a teacher for help, and unless there was a problem (like the one you raised with the teacher), I assume the teacher wouldn't offer to help unless she knew it was needed.

Your kid is not "behind" at all.

[Anonymous]

At DD's preschool they don't accompany the kids into the bathroom but if a child asks for assistance the teachers will help. We knew this ahead though and about 3 weeks before moving up a grade started working on techniques for DD to wipe her bum better. Squatting helps.

[Anonymous]

My kid didn't wipe himself until he was 5! But he never pooped at preschool either, he would just wait till he got home.

[Anonymous]

Our daycare does not wipe in the 3 year old room, but they talk them through it. They have encouraged parents to send wipes to make sure the job is done more thoroughly. I have yet to see skid marks.

[Anonymous]

Another reason to bathe your children daily.

[Anonymous]

My DD will be 4 next month. We're working on her wiping herself, but she definitely still needs a check, especially if it was a bit of a softer bowel movement. Our preschool will help them at this age.

[Anonymous]

IME this is one of the differences between daycares and preschools. In the stand-alone preschools the teachers saw themselves as educators. They wore fancier clothes than I did and came to school very put-together. At the daycares where we have done part-time care the employees, even though there was a curriculum, were caretakers and cleaning up a kid was not a big deal for them. One day my four year old had a poop accident at the preschool--the only one ever--and they were completely apoplectic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IME this is one of the differences between daycares and preschools. In the stand-alone preschools the teachers saw themselves as educators. They wore fancier clothes than I did and came to school very put-together. At the daycares where we have done part-time care the employees, even though there was a curriculum, were caretakers and cleaning up a kid was not a big deal for them. One day my four year old had a poop accident at the preschool--the only one ever--and they were completely apoplectic.

As they should be. Four is way too old...disgusting.

[Anonymous]

It's also a licensing issue depending on where you are. After age 3 the child should not have help getting changed or suing the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three year olds are not expected to be perfect wipers, and preschool teachers are not expected to help kids wipe.

+1. Even in my kid's 2YO class (which he started at 2.25, fully potty trained) they didn't seem to help wipe. He did most of his business at home, so it was mostly ok, just a few messes.

[Anonymous]

I also think it's a licensing issue - I only know this b/c our preschool also has a 2.5 year old class and those kids aren't required to be potty trained and the only teachers allowed in the room are the ones that are licensed/trained to help with bodily fluids or something. Once you advance past that class there is zero assistance b/c they aren't licensed for it -

[Anonymous]

This IS a licensing issue, and it can also be an insurance issue, to avoid accusations of sexual abuse.

Daycare facilities deal with diapers, so their staff members can help with potty training. Many, if not most preschools, require children to be potty-trained in order to attend; the staff is not allowed to help children in the bathroom. Don't make the teacher the bad guy here; they are following the regulations!

[Anonymous]

The problem with girls wiping is that they ought to wipe front to back to avoid UTIs. Boys can wipe any which way is easiest for them to get clean. Teaching girls to wipe is more difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IME this is one of the differences between daycares and preschools. In the stand-alone preschools the teachers saw themselves as educators. They wore fancier clothes than I did and came to school very put-together. At the daycares where we have done part-time care the employees, even though there was a curriculum, were caretakers and cleaning up a kid was not a big deal for them. One day my four year old had a poop accident at the preschool--the only one ever--and they were completely apoplectic.

As they should be. Four is way too old...disgusting.

Do you actually have kids? It was an accident. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have asked the teacher. Just do a bath when the kid gets home.

Not all kids get rashes. That's not true.