Family life education - 5th grade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Opted both of my boys out. You need to see the slides and read the material for yourself, fellow mamas. What I saw was wayyyy past what is age appropriate. My children know all there is to know and then some. The end. Opting them out from now on. The schools have no business nor expertise in this stuff. Basic biology stuff? Okay. What I saw and read wasn't that. Just don't blindly trust the FLE curriculum and make the choice that's right for yours.

+1. We are opting out of everthing past general body knowledge. My DS does not need to be discussing intercourse, STDs, etc. in 5th grade with strangers. His father can discuss what is needed at this age. Heck, most of the boys aren't even interested in girls at our school - it's all about sports. 7th grade maybe, but not 5th grade. Most of the people we know are opting out too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone know -- if I opt my child out of his/her grade level, can I opt him/her into that level the next year (when child is a year older?) or do I only have the choice of using the current grade's program/nothing at all?

I have a child who is young for the grade (i.e. summer bday). I am all for sex ed... but I also know that it has to meet the child at the appropriate emotional/mental level. So, if I opt my child out at grade 4, can I opt him in to see the grade 4 lesson when he's actually in 5th grade? Or the same with 5th grade -- can we wait until child is in 6th grade to take part in the lesson that is given to 5th graders? I don't want to opt the child out of all sex ed -- I just don't think my young-ish kids are ready on the same schedule as it is provided.

I have a 4th grader this year too, who has a Sept birthday. I'm not sure she is ready for it either, but you have to remember that most, if not all, of their classmates ARE going to take the class. This means they will have the knowledge. And they will likely talk about it. So would you rather your child start from a place of hearsay - what their friends say - or from a place of knowledge? That's my philosophy on it, anyway.

FWIW, she recently asked me what tampons were for. I gently explained. She was stunned about the bleeding every month. Ugh. Not ready for this, but it's coming!

The kids are taught in very clear terms that they are not to speak ONE WORD about it and if they do, they will be sent to the principal's office. I know this from my older child's experience. My son, (mentioned above) is more like a 7 yr. old -- even though he just turned 9. He really has no reason to know about puberty and girls' reproductive process at this point. He still reads Captain Underpants. He's years away from his own puberty. I want him to have the info. ... just not yet!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone know -- if I opt my child out of his/her grade level, can I opt him/her into that level the next year (when child is a year older?) or do I only have the choice of using the current grade's program/nothing at all?

I have a child who is young for the grade (i.e. summer bday). I am all for sex ed... but I also know that it has to meet the child at the appropriate emotional/mental level. So, if I opt my child out at grade 4, can I opt him in to see the grade 4 lesson when he's actually in 5th grade? Or the same with 5th grade -- can we wait until child is in 6th grade to take part in the lesson that is given to 5th graders? I don't want to opt the child out of all sex ed -- I just don't think my young-ish kids are ready on the same schedule as it is provided.

YOu can also just opt out of certain lessons. That is what we did in fifth for our young for the grade kid. If memory serves me correctly, we opted out of STD day and perhaps intercourse day (not sure about that).

Then we covered those topics in a general way at home so our kid still had the accurate information but at an age appropriate level.

[Anonymous]

Those who are opting out, when do you opt back in? At some point (if not now) it would be embarrassing for the kid to have to leave. Also the information builds year to year, so do you think 2 years from now your child will be ready to hear about sex trafficking, if not given the knowledge about the basics now?

I agree that it's too much too soon, but I also think most kids only absorb what they're ready for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those who are opting out, when do you opt back in? At some point (if not now) it would be embarrassing for the kid to have to leave. Also the information builds year to year, so do you think 2 years from now your child will be ready to hear about sex trafficking, if not given the knowledge about the basics now?

I agree that it's too much too soon, but I also think most kids only absorb what they're ready for.

Yes, the sex trafficking was overkill and graphic, and according to my middle schooler made zero sense to most of the kids. I think fcps would make much more senseif they dropped the sex trafficking units and just concentrated specifically on internet privacy and sex offender laws as they relate specifically to girls and boys sending naked pictures of themselves to one another, videotaping sex acts, public sex acts, posting things online, etc. It needs to be taught in context of their friendships and peers and not framed as this big outside sex trafficking network. That is just not part of the reality of most fcps students and should not be the emphasis. However, there have been several fcps high school students in recent years doing really stupid things with regarss to sharing their own nude pics or thier classmates nude pics and should definitely be heavily addressed in middle amd high school sex ed.

[Anonymous]

Regarding opt out, in years past elementary sex ed is taught in a series of five lessons over one week. Each day covers a different topic. You can opt out of one, a few, or all days.

The opt out is not permanent. You have to do it each year.

Your school shoukd have the entire curriculum and script available for parents to review prior to the start of sex ed (fle) week. I recommend taking advantage of this so you are actually informed as to what your kid is being taught, even if you are in theory okay with elementary school sex ed.

[Anonymous]

Mom of a fourth grade boy here. I'm opting my son out of the sex Ed stuff. He's still very innocent and not ready to have this taught in school. We talk about it at home and have been at an age appropriate level for years. I asked him how he felt about learning it at school and he said he felt uncomfortable. I explained that he could be excused from it if he wanted to and he said yes. I told him that I would ask him about it again when it gets closer to the time that they will be learning it and he said ok. If he changes his mind when the time comes, I will let him go to it, but I won't like it. This is not the school's job, imo.

For the record, somebody mentioned that the opt out kids might feel embarassed since they are opting out while everyone else stays, well I dodnt think the opt out kids will be alone. I think that there will be plenty of kids opting out. It won't be a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone know -- if I opt my child out of his/her grade level, can I opt him/her into that level the next year (when child is a year older?) or do I only have the choice of using the current grade's program/nothing at all?

I have a child who is young for the grade (i.e. summer bday). I am all for sex ed... but I also know that it has to meet the child at the appropriate emotional/mental level. So, if I opt my child out at grade 4, can I opt him in to see the grade 4 lesson when he's actually in 5th grade? Or the same with 5th grade -- can we wait until child is in 6th grade to take part in the lesson that is given to 5th graders? I don't want to opt the child out of all sex ed -- I just don't think my young-ish kids are ready on the same schedule as it is provided.

I have a 4th grader this year too, who has a Sept birthday. I'm not sure she is ready for it either, but you have to remember that most, if not all, of their classmates ARE going to take the class. This means they will have the knowledge. And they will likely talk about it. So would you rather your child start from a place of hearsay - what their friends say - or from a place of knowledge? That's my philosophy on it, anyway.

FWIW, she recently asked me what tampons were for. I gently explained. She was stunned about the bleeding every month. Ugh. Not ready for this, but it's coming!

I got my period when I was 10, so if your daughter is in fourth grade she should learn about that. My mom never told me and I was shocked.

[Anonymous]

To the poster who is opting out their fourth grader, I've taught 6th grade in FCPS. Each year, maybe 2-3 kids opt out from each class. And some years, no one does. This is not said to dissuade you from your decision, as I fully support your right to opt out. It's just that you predicted plenty would opt out, and that is probably not going to be true (although the FLE curriculum has gotten much more attention from the community in the past year, so it is reasonable to think that there may be more opt outs than usual this year). But, we really try to make sure that students who do opt out are not singled out in any kind of embarrassing way. We normally talk with them ahead of time, telling the child what to do and where to go when we move to other classrooms for FLE time.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 5th grade mom. I know at least 10 people in just our neighborhood who are opting their kids out of at least the last 3 days of the FLE on sex education, so I know my kid will not be the only one. As word gets around, I'm sure there will be plenty more. We did not opt out of 4th grade, but 5th grade is over the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope you've already discussed the facts of life at this point, and the classroom just reinforces what you've discussed regarding the biology.

If you're in Virginia, there's also a very strong abstinence-only basis to the curriculum, where they tell you about the "morality" of having sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope you've already discussed the facts of life at this point, and the classroom just reinforces what you've discussed regarding the biology.

If you're in Virginia, there's also a very strong abstinence-only basis to the curriculum, where they tell you about the "morality" of having sex.

What's wrong with that? If they're going to teach it in the schools, I think this is the way to do it! Why would anyone be against that?????? And btw this is the "va public schools" forum.

[Anonymous]

For those that are questioning why fifth graders need to talk about sex that young, or why talk about trafficking in the 7th grade, read the news paper. Find out that kids in our area are trafficked at 12/13.

And think back to your own childhood. I know, between the sixth and seventh grade, I have my first girl friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope you've already discussed the facts of life at this point, and the classroom just reinforces what you've discussed regarding the biology.

If you're in Virginia, there's also a very strong abstinence-only basis to the curriculum, where they tell you about the "morality" of having sex.

They don't actually use a "morality" argument, FYI. They just stress abstinence is the best and most effective way to avoid pregnancy, stds, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those that are questioning why fifth graders need to talk about sex that young, or why talk about trafficking in the 7th grade, read the news paper. Find out that kids in our area are trafficked at 12/13.

And think back to your own childhood. I know, between the sixth and seventh grade, I have my first girl friend.

Sex trafficking is just not a prevalant issue in our district and certainly not deserving of the extreme focus they give tonit in middle school.

HOWEVER, sharing naked picture online and with friends, boy/girl friends and acquaintances is a very real issue for our area and much more deserving of attention. Consent laws are also a real issue in our area especially with the number of red shirted boys. Sex trafficking falls very far off the radar for the typical and vast majority of fcps middle school students.