Can't get my kids to go anywhere!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, thank you to all the sympathizers. FWIW, part of the reason I wanted to get the, out today is because yesterday they did almost nothing. My 11 year old could not find a friend to play with so I allowed her to spend hours and hours on a screen. Her friends are busy today as well so I really did not want a repeat of yesterday.

I suggested a ton of activities and challenged both to come up with some ideas, I got nothing. Tonight the older one is sleeping over at a friend's house where I know they will be playing Minecraft all night and she will be toast tomorrow so I was going to allow more nothingness again.

As for just making them do things, sometimes I do. But sometimes it's just not worth it to hear the constant complaining. I feel like in 20 years they are going to be asking me why we never did anything or went anywhere.

OP, I hear you. Yesterday I wanted to MAKE my tweens go with me to the pool but I didn't. I decided to, "just let them hang out." I did take 6yr sister while others hung home with DH.

Now this morning BOTH my tween were complaining that they we tired because "I didn't fall asleep till late because you let me sleep too long and I did not go outside!" Sigh. They also didn't use the down time to prep for today so they were scrambling this am for clean underwear - in the still unfolded laundry - and school books and whatnot.

Lesson for me: at minimum one activity per day, even if it's just an hour. Downtime is great but not all day unless we're on vacation...

[Anonymous]

"Op here, thank you to all the sympathizers. FWIW, part of the reason I wanted to get the, out today is because yesterday they did almost nothing. My 11 year old could not find a friend to play with so I allowed her to spend hours and hours on a screen. Her friends are busy today as well so I really did not want a repeat of yesterday. "

I'm all for downtime like the people are saying but if they had a 3 day weekend, even if they laid around for 4 hours a day there is still a lot of time left!

1. Start the weekend by telling them all screens are off by 10 am for everyone for the rest of the day except for a movie at night.
2. Laying around makes you feel more tired, it just does. My 8 and 10 yo are more sluggish when they have been doing nothing that has an element of fresh air.
3. If you do drag them out, don't take the initial whiny bait. I tell me kids "We're going for a hike at 11. Please be ready to go by then." They may initially complain and whine but I don't take the bait and they ultimately have a good time.
4. If you are planning an activity, do it in the am. That way if you get some exercise and fresh air, they can lay around all afternoon and you don't feel so bad about it
5. Get rid of Minecraft and if your kids haven't started with it don't let them. It was created by the devil and only encourages sloth.

fwiw, you are not alone. I feel like I have lots of friends that say the same thing. The most common denominator is screen time - if given the choice kids would rather watch tv/ipad/Wii/Minecraft then be out. Have to figure out how to limit it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, stop asking. Pick something and tell them that they're going.

+1 I don't remember getting a choice growing up and my kids don't get one now. Adults choose the activities, kids accompany them. Who runs the house, OP? What are you letting them do? If it's more than reading a book - a real book with no screen- then you are a big part of the problem.

Are they required to pretend they're enjoying it too?

They're still too dumb to know what's good for them. The decision making part of the brain isn't developed till 25. Who cares if they do or don't enjoy it. They will one day.