Can't get my kids to go anywhere!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, stop asking. Pick something and tell them that they're going.

+1 I don't remember getting a choice growing up and my kids don't get one now. Adults choose the activities, kids accompany them. Who runs the house, OP? What are you letting them do? If it's more than reading a book - a real book with no screen- then you are a big part of the problem.

Are they required to pretend they're enjoying it too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a beautiful day of a long weekend. Nothing planned - no soccer, no lessons, no friends in town. I want to get my kids out of the house to go somewhere, anywhere and all they want to do is sit at home. This is not the first time and I'm at my wits end. I even pulled out the "you could die tomorrow" card, but that gets you nowhere with an 11 and 8 year old. I have proposed all sorts of activities, including bike ride, hiking, canoeing, kayaking and I get nothing.

Anyone else BTDT or have advice?

My kids are the same age and I am puzzled by your children's behavior. My children always want to be doing something -- practicing their sports so they can get a D-1 recruiting bump or money, volunteering at the homeless shelter, or selling lemonade/cookies for extra spending money. I often tell them to slow down and relax. Are your children depressed?

[Anonymous]

I'm a homebody myself and go out when I really want to do something. So either you relax with them, or you pick a destination and you all go, and your enthusiasm may end up making them feel excited about the destination.

There's nothing wrong with staying home. There is something wrong with not having authority over your children.

You can all take a nap.
You can read to your kids in bed, a thrilling story they will both enjoy.
You can decide to paint together.
You can try a new recipe (or a favorite one) together.
You can put their favorite movie on and get stuff done around the house.

Hey, you could die tomorrow, OP. Enjoy your weekend and chill!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a beautiful day of a long weekend. Nothing planned - no soccer, no lessons, no friends in town. I want to get my kids out of the house to go somewhere, anywhere and all they want to do is sit at home. This is not the first time and I'm at my wits end. I even pulled out the "you could die tomorrow" card, but that gets you nowhere with an 11 and 8 year old. I have proposed all sorts of activities, including bike ride, hiking, canoeing, kayaking and I get nothing.

Anyone else BTDT or have advice?

My kids are the same age and I am puzzled by your children's behavior. My children always want to be doing something -- practicing their sports so they can get a D-1 recruiting bump or money, volunteering at the homeless shelter, or selling lemonade/cookies for extra spending money. I often tell them to slow down and relax. Are your children depressed?

Are you this obnoxious in person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a beautiful day of a long weekend. Nothing planned - no soccer, no lessons, no friends in town. I want to get my kids out of the house to go somewhere, anywhere and all they want to do is sit at home. This is not the first time and I'm at my wits end. I even pulled out the "you could die tomorrow" card, but that gets you nowhere with an 11 and 8 year old. I have proposed all sorts of activities, including bike ride, hiking, canoeing, kayaking and I get nothing.

Anyone else BTDT or have advice?

My kids are the same age and I am puzzled by your children's behavior. My children always want to be doing something -- practicing their sports so they can get a D-1 recruiting bump or money, volunteering at the homeless shelter, or selling lemonade/cookies for extra spending money. I often tell them to slow down and relax. Are your children depressed?

No, it's usually an energy thing. Some people are always go-go-go and full of energy, and some are less so. I have a moderately energetic DD and a really relaxed DS. DS and I would be happy just sitting at home reading, all day and every day. DD and DH need to go out and do things! It looks like OP is the more energetic of the bunch, at least today. And I agree that the first week of school is tiring for kids, so something low-key is probably best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a beautiful day of a long weekend. Nothing planned - no soccer, no lessons, no friends in town. I want to get my kids out of the house to go somewhere, anywhere and all they want to do is sit at home. This is not the first time and I'm at my wits end. I even pulled out the "you could die tomorrow" card, but that gets you nowhere with an 11 and 8 year old. I have proposed all sorts of activities, including bike ride, hiking, canoeing, kayaking and I get nothing.

Anyone else BTDT or have advice?

My kids are the same age and I am puzzled by your children's behavior. My children always want to be doing something -- practicing their sports so they can get a D-1 recruiting bump or money, volunteering at the homeless shelter, or selling lemonade/cookies for extra spending money. I often tell them to slow down and relax. Are your children depressed?

No, it's usually an energy thing. Some people are always go-go-go and full of energy, and some are less so. I have a moderately energetic DD and a really relaxed DS. DS and I would be happy just sitting at home reading, all day and every day. DD and DH need to go out and do things! It looks like OP is the more energetic of the bunch, at least today. And I agree that the first week of school is tiring for kids, so something low-key is probably best.

+1
There are people in my family who are constantly badgering others to do this or that "activity" instead of just hanging out. It is tiresome.

That said, if there are projects around the house that YOU are doing to get ready for school, I think it's fair to ask them to contribute.

Also, if they are going to loaf (which is fine!), they shouldn't be asking you to wait on them hand and foot.

[Anonymous]

Op here, thank you to all the sympathizers. FWIW, part of the reason I wanted to get the, out today is because yesterday they did almost nothing. My 11 year old could not find a friend to play with so I allowed her to spend hours and hours on a screen. Her friends are busy today as well so I really did not want a repeat of yesterday.

I suggested a ton of activities and challenged both to come up with some ideas, I got nothing. Tonight the older one is sleeping over at a friend's house where I know they will be playing Minecraft all night and she will be toast tomorrow so I was going to allow more nothingness again.

As for just making them do things, sometimes I do. But sometimes it's just not worth it to hear the constant complaining. I feel like in 20 years they are going to be asking me why we never did anything or went anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a beautiful day of a long weekend. Nothing planned - no soccer, no lessons, no friends in town. I want to get my kids out of the house to go somewhere, anywhere and all they want to do is sit at home. This is not the first time and I'm at my wits end. I even pulled out the "you could die tomorrow" card, but that gets you nowhere with an 11 and 8 year old. I have proposed all sorts of activities, including bike ride, hiking, canoeing, kayaking and I get nothing.

Anyone else BTDT or have advice?

My kids are the same age and I am puzzled by your children's behavior. My children always want to be doing something -- practicing their sports so they can get a D-1 recruiting bump or money, volunteering at the homeless shelter, or selling lemonade/cookies for extra spending money. I often tell them to slow down and relax. Are your children depressed?

"if other kids aren't like mine, they must have a mental illness!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, thank you to all the sympathizers. FWIW, part of the reason I wanted to get the, out today is because yesterday they did almost nothing. My 11 year old could not find a friend to play with so I allowed her to spend hours and hours on a screen. Her friends are busy today as well so I really did not want a repeat of yesterday.

I suggested a ton of activities and challenged both to come up with some ideas, I got nothing. Tonight the older one is sleeping over at a friend's house where I know they will be playing Minecraft all night and she will be toast tomorrow so I was going to allow more nothingness again.

As for just making them do things, sometimes I do. But sometimes it's just not worth it to hear the constant complaining. I feel like in 20 years they are going to be asking me why we never did anything or went anywhere.

OP, I'm glad you started this thread b/c I have always felt like I'm the only one with kids who don't want to do anything fun outside the house. FWIW, I am "forcing" them to do two "activities" during the school year. An instrument counts as one and then the other is something they can choose... but if they aren't choosing anything, then I will choose something for them. I won't put them on a team or choose anything that has a lot of effort involved... b/c that is just asking for trouble, but I will sign them up for a one hour weekly class at the rec center.

I figure they will eventually find their niche in HS or college. Until then, I will expose them to things that don't cost too much, and still involve getting out of the house a few times a week! I understand that different people have different interests ... but sitting home every day is not good for them either. So, we find a balance. But, like you, I do wish my family was more interested in squeezing the joy out of exploring life.

[Anonymous]

My older one, the introvert, never wants to do anything and vehemently complains when I make him participate in the forced family fun activities. He usually says how much he liked it on the car ride home. I've noticed this pattern and have pointed it out to DC.

The baby, the extrovert, is usually up for an outing, but sometimes has to be pried loose of the couch and ipad. DC2 will also canvas the neighborhood for any available playmate.

If there's something that I think is beneficial and entertaining, I'll make them do it and put up with the complaining. Example: tickets to the Adventure Theater or a museum exhibit (winter weekends).

I'll assign chores and/or quiet reading time if they are starting to bicker.

It doesn't help that DH plans nothing (ever) and I am always the one blasting them off the couch. He only takes them places when I ask him to - running errands, getting them haircuts, etc. He is not proactive about weekend activities and always waits to be told what to do. It's an old battle I'm tired of fighting.

[Anonymous]

My 11 yr old introvert will never pass up a chance to do something outside the house. I think it's because we live in a tiny house and we live close in. Since she was a baby, we have always spent the majority of time out and about and it's easy to get to places. I do notice she will complain when we have to drive to get to places that re more than 30 minutes away,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And WTF, saying "you could die tomorrow" to 8 and 11 year olds? You need serious help, lady. No wonder your kids need a break.

For real though! I came from an upbringing that wasting a beautiful day was absolutely not done unless you were very sick. But I would never say that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, thank you to all the sympathizers. FWIW, part of the reason I wanted to get the, out today is because yesterday they did almost nothing. My 11 year old could not find a friend to play with so I allowed her to spend hours and hours on a screen. Her friends are busy today as well so I really did not want a repeat of yesterday.

I suggested a ton of activities and challenged both to come up with some ideas, I got nothing. Tonight the older one is sleeping over at a friend's house where I know they will be playing Minecraft all night and she will be toast tomorrow so I was going to allow more nothingness again.

As for just making them do things, sometimes I do. But sometimes it's just not worth it to hear the constant complaining. I feel like in 20 years they are going to be asking me why we never did anything or went anywhere.

I'd make them too. No way my kids are wasting a nice day. Change your wifi pword and get those kids off their butts.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you just have introverted kids who need some down time? Maybe you just have a lot more energy than your kids?

Saying "you could die tommorrow" is pretty over-the-top and dramatic; if OP is acting this way in front of your children in public the oldest is going to start being embarassed to be seen with you, especially if she is introverted...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a beautiful day of a long weekend. Nothing planned - no soccer, no lessons, no friends in town. I want to get my kids out of the house to go somewhere, anywhere and all they want to do is sit at home. This is not the first time and I'm at my wits end. I even pulled out the "you could die tomorrow" card, but that gets you nowhere with an 11 and 8 year old. I have proposed all sorts of activities, including bike ride, hiking, canoeing, kayaking and I get nothing.

Anyone else BTDT or have advice?

My kids are the same age and I am puzzled by your children's behavior. My children always want to be doing something -- practicing their sports so they can get a D-1 recruiting bump or money, volunteering at the homeless shelter, or selling lemonade/cookies for extra spending money. I often tell them to slow down and relax. Are your children depressed?

"if other kids aren't like mine, they must have a mental illness!"

Am I the only one who assumed that was a joke?

+1 to all those to said to just pick something and make them go. My mother used to do this to us on beautiful days. She'd drag us out up to a two hour drive away to go somewhere gorgeous along the coast to soak up the weather and enjoy some other town. We always complained (my sister practically kicking and screaming, me usually nose buried in a book and wanting it to stay that way), but I, for one, always ended up having a great time and was thankful.