Grandma with Cough Helping with Infants - Help me with the drama!

[Anonymous]

Aw HELL no. OP, your mother's fragile emotional health is a secondary concern to your childrens' fragile physical health. She goes to the doc AND follows their advice re taking care of preemies or she goes home. Anything else risks the life of her grandkids. Why would she want to do that?

[Anonymous]

OP here. My OB happened to call to check in yesterday evening, so I used it as an excuse to ask her opinion in front of my mother. That moved the needle a bit. I also used the line about how bad she would feel if the babies got sick. I then tried the invitation that she come back later, which I'm totally down with, especially since we have one older child that she is really helpful with. Finally, I offered that she could go to a hotel for a couple of nights, see a doctor to see if it is a sinus infection or otherwise not transmittable, and then decide whether to stay.

She is FINALLY taking medication and washing her hands and says she will decide what to do when she gets up from her nap (she's sleeping about 16 hours a day, which is another factor against allergies), but she is definitely in a funk about it Now, after saying all of this yesterday evening and this morning and DH saying to start with that he didn't think she should stay, DH is now saying I shouldn't have made her feel bad and that she probably isn't contagious if she just washes her hands and doesn't cough directly on the kiddos. Talk about no-win situations! Thanks for all of the great advice, and wish me luck in not injuring DH with a breast pump part or paci-based shiv at 3 in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You're a mother now and need to protect your children first. Too bad about your mother and her emotional fragility.
Sorry about your grandmother.

Yes. Becoming a mother exemps you from all manners. You can be an insensitive bItch just like above PP. Insult your mother because you are the most important bitch. Your mothers feelings are of no consequence.

OP, you are a grown woman and you shold be capable of discussi,g your concerns about her cough without hurting her feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My OB happened to call to check in yesterday evening, so I used it as an excuse to ask her opinion in front of my mother. That moved the needle a bit. I also used the line about how bad she would feel if the babies got sick. I then tried the invitation that she come back later, which I'm totally down with, especially since we have one older child that she is really helpful with. Finally, I offered that she could go to a hotel for a couple of nights, see a doctor to see if it is a sinus infection or otherwise not transmittable, and then decide whether to stay.

She is FINALLY taking medication and washing her hands and says she will decide what to do when she gets up from her nap (she's sleeping about 16 hours a day, which is another factor against allergies), but she is definitely in a funk about it Now, after saying all of this yesterday evening and this morning and DH saying to start with that he didn't think she should stay, DH is now saying I shouldn't have made her feel bad and that she probably isn't contagious if she just washes her hands and doesn't cough directly on the kiddos. Talk about no-win situations! Thanks for all of the great advice, and wish me luck in not injuring DH with a breast pump part or paci-based shiv at 3 in the morning.

I think all parents w newborns dream of this. Hang in there OP. Sounds like you handled it well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My OB happened to call to check in yesterday evening, so I used it as an excuse to ask her opinion in front of my mother. That moved the needle a bit. I also used the line about how bad she would feel if the babies got sick. I then tried the invitation that she come back later, which I'm totally down with, especially since we have one older child that she is really helpful with. Finally, I offered that she could go to a hotel for a couple of nights, see a doctor to see if it is a sinus infection or otherwise not transmittable, and then decide whether to stay.

She is FINALLY taking medication and washing her hands and says she will decide what to do when she gets up from her nap (she's sleeping about 16 hours a day, which is another factor against allergies), but she is definitely in a funk about it Now, after saying all of this yesterday evening and this morning and DH saying to start with that he didn't think she should stay, DH is now saying I shouldn't have made her feel bad and that she probably isn't contagious if she just washes her hands and doesn't cough directly on the kiddos. Talk about no-win situations! Thanks for all of the great advice, and wish me luck in not injuring DH with a breast pump part or paci-based shiv at 3 in the morning.

What the heck? SHE will decide whether to stay and keep coughing on your preemies? Seriously? Get a backbone and be a strong mother to your infants, who are fully dependent on you right now.

[Anonymous]

I was going to say regardless of her staying or going, take her to a minute clinic for gods sake.

WTH is with your DH undermining the situation. Not helpful, there, buddy!

I'd let her stay for recovery but not handle the kiddos for now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the meantime have her wear a mask and wash her hands CONSTANTLY.

Yes. If meeting these conditions makes her unhappy, that's her problem. Protect your babies. She should want to protect them too.

[Anonymous]

"Mom, you are sleeping 16 hours a day and can't handle the twins. Go home. Please. Get better and come back. We love you and we can't wait to see you again, but this is too much right now."