Have you ever been mistaken as your child's nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never and I became a Mom at 25. My son also looks like my clone and I'm very hands on and affectionate with him.

this is stupid. i see plenty of helicopter nannies and lazy moms in the park. nobody assumes someone is a mom or nanny based only on this factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Believe it or not, my wife, an African-American, has never been (openly) mistaken for the nanny of our 8 year old who looks white, has green eyes and brown hair with blond highlights. We live in DC. Clearly there is something in the way she carries herself and interacts with dd that communicates a parent-child relationship. I'm sure there's some study that has been done on how parents vs caregivers interact with relation to subtle differences in eye contact, touch, tone of voice, etc.

My dear PP, don't get too smug. People assume many things without telling you. You're just not subtle enough to pick up on them, or you've never been in a situation where you could gauge how people saw that relationship.

I know I was mistaken for the nanny, even though no one actually told me this to my face, but I could tell easily by the attitude.

Smug? You're the one being smug presuming you know what my experiences or my wife's experiences are. Someone asked about being mistaken for the nanny. I answered it as best I could and even allowed that others may have assumed but never said so outright.

Save your condescending tone for...no one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Believe it or not, my wife, an African-American, has never been (openly) mistaken for the nanny of our 8 year old who looks white, has green eyes and brown hair with blond highlights. We live in DC. Clearly there is something in the way she carries herself and interacts with dd that communicates a parent-child relationship. I'm sure there's some study that has been done on how parents vs caregivers interact with relation to subtle differences in eye contact, touch, tone of voice, etc.

so women who have been mistaken for the nanny are carrying themselves wrong? Interacting incorrectly? You seem so...proud?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Believe it or not, my wife, an African-American, has never been (openly) mistaken for the nanny of our 8 year old who looks white, has green eyes and brown hair with blond highlights. We live in DC. Clearly there is something in the way she carries herself and interacts with dd that communicates a parent-child relationship. I'm sure there's some study that has been done on how parents vs caregivers interact with relation to subtle differences in eye contact, touch, tone of voice, etc.

My dear PP, don't get too smug. People assume many things without telling you. You're just not subtle enough to pick up on them, or you've never been in a situation where you could gauge how people saw that relationship.

I know I was mistaken for the nanny, even though no one actually told me this to my face, but I could tell easily by the attitude.

Smug? You're the one being smug presuming you know what my experiences or my wife's experiences are. Someone asked about being mistaken for the nanny. I answered it as best I could and even allowed that others may have assumed but never said so outright.

Save your condescending tone for...no one.

Don't get defensive, my dear PP. Perhaps your wife would have a different point of view. Perhaps you are not around every day when they walk about together and organize park outings and such.

What we are laughing at is your rock-solid assumption that this would NEVER happen to your family. Ha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never and I became a Mom at 25. My son also looks like my clone and I'm very hands on and affectionate with him.

this is stupid. i see plenty of helicopter nannies and lazy moms in the park. nobody assumes someone is a mom or nanny based only on this factor.

Affectionate = helicopter? I wouldn't expect a Nanny to kiss a charge. So that's a dead give away IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where I'm from, 29 is considered old for having a baby. Lots of people are grandparents by time they're in their late 30's.

Also, not a lot of people have nannies there.

That's correct. They're unheard of.

[Anonymous]

Just this morning. Someone asked me ... Is that YOUR baby?

[Anonymous]

My friend is a red-head who looks quite young for her age. Her DH is white, but with very dark hair/eyes. Their DC has very dark hair and eyes as well. My friend is mistaken for the nanny all. the. time.

[Anonymous]

No, because I'm white and my DC is obviously a POC. Other way around, it would be a different story.

[Anonymous]

I am always mistaken for my charge's mother and I am his nanny. I take it as a compliment as I am way too old to be a toddler's mother!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never and I became a Mom at 25. My son also looks like my clone and I'm very hands on and affectionate with him.

this is stupid. i see plenty of helicopter nannies and lazy moms in the park. nobody assumes someone is a mom or nanny based only on this factor.

Affectionate = helicopter? I wouldn't expect a Nanny to kiss a charge. So that's a dead give away IMO.

poor kids! i kissed my charges all the time. WTH?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I've been mistaken for my child's nanny, and I'm a pretty typically-aged mom here. I think it has more to do with the fact that DC doesn't look like me. Same skin color but completely different hair and eye color (like a PP I get comments along the lines of "How did DS turn out so blond!"). And it's definitely not about interactions or level of affection - DS is totally mommy's boy.

[Anonymous]

Yes. And my child's 20 something year old nanny was standing right next to me. Neither of us were holding him - he was in a stroller, and the person who made the mistake did not observe either of us talking to my DC. But my nanny is white, my DC looks white and I am not.

The person was very embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

I was a nanny for a SAH mom with 5 kids and people thought we were a couple all the freaking time. It was hilarious!!!!

[Anonymous]

DH gets asked if our kids are his a lot! He is white and I am not. Kids generally have brown skin but each one lighter than the last.

I was asked once if my youngest was mine.

What also happens is that cashiers often cannot compute that DH and I are together when we go up to pay. Even when we are talking to each other and have the kids with us! I hate it.