Fr. Kleinmann at St. Mary's Old Town

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, PP, you must not have been at mass that weekend. This was not for the BLA, rather it took place 3 weeks ago, shortly after we all got appeals in the mail to sign up for FaithDirect, and he devoted the entire homily to having people "commit" to their weekly offerings. I am not the 21:33 poster, but I was at mass that weekend and I was surprised. It (the commitment making, the switch to FaithDirect, etc) is all a bit distasteful.

We had the exact same pitch 3 weeks ago at our different nearby NoVA parish. This tells me it was a diocese wide appeal directed by Bishop Loverde, and was not undertaken at Father Hathaway's own initiative.

[Anonymous]

The one response about, "you must not go to church often". What an offensive, judgmental comment…similar to what I would imagine Father Hathoway saying. Of course we (you) should stop thinking you are Jesus/God. God is our final judge, so please refrain from the value statements. I also have a problem with being shamed at the school. Did you know that there is an internal website at St Mary's school that actually posts the amount of the donation parents made - recently we were asked to give and ostensibly, there it has been made into a contest - I can assure you that Jesus would not approve (but I don't claim to speak for Jesus). This website acts as a shaming device and a means to make parents compete against each other in the donation game. First off, I think it's shameful that Father Hathoway would allow such a thing or really any Church. I'm just saying that the entire atmosphere has changed in a very negative manner since Father H took over. It may be coincidental but I doubt it. I also want to reiterate that St. Mary's, under Father H's leadership, has gone heavily toward fundraising and seemingly guilting parishioners to give more and more. Again, this is all rather distasteful and it coincides with the arrival of Father H. Also, I was at mass this past weekend when he made the connection the France terrorism attack to us also being sinners - rather distasteful. Father H also told us who to vote for, which was also rather distasteful. His diatribe about wearing shorts one Sunday was also rather distasteful. With all of my examples which occurred over many of Father H's masses hopefully shows you that I do attend regularly - not that you are Jesus, nor are are you my judge. I also "formerly" gave pretty generously but I have chosen to reduce my offerings.

In closing, we need (at St Mary's) less judgement, more welcoming and love for the Parishioners. I think a more modern thinking priest that is less steeped in the old testament (using fear, the threat of hell, and scare tactics) would serve St. Mary's more appropriately.

You suggested that we should give him a chance…sure, I'm all for it. But if he continues these policies, he will lose more support. Believe me, I know at least a dozen people who feel similarly. Of course there must be many more because I really don't know too many fellow parishioners.

[Anonymous]

Well I'm deciding to focus more on the teachers and my kids then the nonsense around giving. I haven't felt pressure. My kids are happy and we love their teachers.

[Anonymous]

Who did he tell you to vote for?

[Anonymous]

Thank you for acknowledging that the excessive fundraising is nonsense, albeit you have not felt the pressure. Maybe you are in the highest "giving" category? However, please also admit that such a website that pits parents against each other to shame them into giving is a distasteful idea. That's not part of the Catholic education experience. The school/parish is using that website as a shameful tool and Jesus would not approve!

[Anonymous]

He gave a talk about "making sure you vet who is running for office and make sure you vote for those who are pro-life. First off, churches should not be engaging in politics and even suggesting to vote for anyone. That's why they enjoy a tax-exempt status. In fact, do such a thing could jeopardize the tax-exempt status. Of course probably no one would enforce this but priests need to stick to saving souls, projecting love and welcoming and growing the Parish - not engaging in politics.

[Anonymous]

I think it's all how you look at it. I don't think it pits parents against eachother. I just took it as information. I don't give in the highest at all. It's all in how you perceive things. I think you might be looking at it negatively but you're entitled to your perspective. I don't even give a second thought to worrying about who has or has not given. As far as fundraising, it'd be more annoying to me if we were asked to sell crap like wrapping paper or tins of cookies or something else every other month. That would be considered excessive fundraising to me. I have zero problems with the current fundraising request. We're asked to give a lump if we can and then a few dollars here and there for special causes like the homeless or rising seminarians.

[Anonymous]

But if it offends people…and it does! Then a Parish should not be doing this. And believe me, other parents are also upset about it. Please don't ignore this fact just because you're ok with it. You my friend need to be more sensitive and aware of others.

[Anonymous]

A parish should not be in the business of offending people. I don't know how else to say it. I've said it as plainly as can be. WE SHOULD NOT BE ACCEPTING OR CONDONING SUCH PRACTICES. And yes, this is under Father H's leadership.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The one response about, "you must not go to church often". What an offensive, judgmental comment…similar to what I would imagine Father Hathoway saying. Of course we (you) should stop thinking you are Jesus/God. God is our final judge, so please refrain from the value statements. I also have a problem with being shamed at the school. Did you know that there is an internal website at St Mary's school that actually posts the amount of the donation parents made - recently we were asked to give and ostensibly, there it has been made into a contest - I can assure you that Jesus would not approve (but I don't claim to speak for Jesus). This website acts as a shaming device and a means to make parents compete against each other in the donation game. First off, I think it's shameful that Father Hathoway would allow such a thing or really any Church. I'm just saying that the entire atmosphere has changed in a very negative manner since Father H took over. It may be coincidental but I doubt it. I also want to reiterate that St. Mary's, under Father H's leadership, has gone heavily toward fundraising and seemingly guilting parishioners to give more and more. Again, this is all rather distasteful and it coincides with the arrival of Father H. Also, I was at mass this past weekend when he made the connection the France terrorism attack to us also being sinners - rather distasteful. Father H also told us who to vote for, which was also rather distasteful. His diatribe about wearing shorts one Sunday was also rather distasteful. With all of my examples which occurred over many of Father H's masses hopefully shows you that I do attend regularly - not that you are Jesus, nor are are you my judge. I also "formerly" gave pretty generously but I have chosen to reduce my offerings.

In closing, we need (at St Mary's) less judgement, more welcoming and love for the Parishioners. I think a more modern thinking priest that is less steeped in the old testament (using fear, the threat of hell, and scare tactics) would serve St. Mary's more appropriately.

You suggested that we should give him a chance…sure, I'm all for it. But if he continues these policies, he will lose more support. Believe me, I know at least a dozen people who feel similarly. Of course there must be many more because I really don't know too many fellow parishioners.

It only shames you if you want it to. Our child attends a private school. Her school is one of many organizations we give to and I am happy with the amount we give - very low btw - and I wouldn't mind any parent knowing the amount. Seeing other parents contributions would not make me give more.

[Anonymous]

But it is not necessary and serves no good purpose. And BTW, it's offensive and I'm not the only parent that feels that way. How many times must I say that before you are able to empathize. Your lack of empathy and tone-deaf quality is really not very gracious, Christian-like nor CATHOLIC.

[Anonymous]

What are you talking about? Shaming people? It is a website for the annual campaign and it lists donors in donation categories (you would have to search for the dollar amount as it is not listed), which is par for the course with any nonprofit donation. It is called donor recognition and if you don't want to be listed as to be listed as "anonymous donor", which is quite common. No one is shaming anyone, your interpretation is not the intent of the website or the fundraising campaign.

Also, if you feel so strongly as to come back several times to respond on this thread, perhaps you should consider contacting a member of the HSA and express your concerns to them to create a dialogue.

As for Fr. Hathaway, I appreciate that he is working to create efficiencies within the church. Most churches participate in Faith Direct, St. Mary's was one of the few to not participate. Fr. Hathaway is trying to move the parish to that platform as a way to save money and time -- and to ensure there is a consistent amount coming in each month to cover costs. It is a good financial business practice, not a shake down of money. He mentioned it at church a couple of times as to capture the majority of people in the parish, but was polite and respectful in my opinion.

The bottom line is, as Catholics we need to give Fr. Hathaway a chance.

[Anonymous]

I like Fr Hathaway. I think he is a good speaker and so far has shown good stewardship. I know some people are turned off by the fact that he is Opus Dei, but he has not seemed any more conservative than Fr Kleinman ever was, certainly less so than Fr. DeCelles or Fr Poumade from many years ago.

[Anonymous]

So glad we have a priest who is a professional fundraiser like Jesus was. However, I think Jesus is looking down and shaking his head at how Father H is pushing so hard for cash as well as his judgmental demeanor and lack of humility and kindness. So glad St Mary's has gone away from projecting kindness to instead focusing on fundraising. The problem certainly is not on Catholicism or Christianity, it the "men" who run the church and their tone-deaf attitudes.

[Anonymous]

Fr. K used to have a homily and a bulletin letter about appropriate and respectful dress annually, mentioning shorts. So, that comment by Fr. Hathaway is one we are used to at St. Mary's Church - a reminder to dress respectfully is not distasteful.

It sounds like you are frustrated, call someone on the parish council if you feel so strongly. (A quick call to the Rectory could give you their contact information.)