Coparenting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they have a custody agreement? It sounds like they don't. They need one. That would spell out how much time he gets and how it is spent.

They do have a custody agreement. And they have a child support agreement. All through the courts. She expressed that she wants him to spend more time with the child, which is understandable. Just to me, it makes sense for the child to stay with us more often, not for him to go spend the time with her and the child.

He doesn't want you. Omg. I'm done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they have a custody agreement? It sounds like they don't. They need one. That would spell out how much time he gets and how it is spent.

They do have a custody agreement. And they have a child support agreement. All through the courts. She expressed that she wants him to spend more time with the child, which is understandable. Just to me, it makes sense for the child to stay with us more often, not for him to go spend the time with her and the child.

It is HIS child. He has to make sure the child is comfortable before adding you into the mix. As others have said you are not married. You need to get your support etc.. on paper. This guy is about this other kid (and maybe your kid). Far only I don't see a problem with him putting bis kids bead of your insecurity.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I would not be okay with this setup at all. She's already made it clear that she does not respect your relationship. Your boyfriend should not entertain this request period out of respect for your relationship. Yes he needs to spend time with his son but he can do so without her around. Sounds like she is trying to wiggle her way back in to try and get him back.

Also, please don't have anymore kids with this guy until he gets his babymomma situation fixed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they have a custody agreement? It sounds like they don't. They need one. That would spell out how much time he gets and how it is spent.

They do have a custody agreement. And they have a child support agreement. All through the courts. She expressed that she wants him to spend more time with the child, which is understandable. Just to me, it makes sense for the child to stay with us more often, not for him to go spend the time with her and the child.

It is HIS child. He has to make sure the child is comfortable before adding you into the mix. As others have said you are not married. You need to get your support etc.. on paper. This guy is about this other kid (and maybe your kid). Far only I don't see a problem with him putting bis kids bead of your insecurity.

Wow. I am the one that said that I'm still friends with my ex and we vacation together but it didn't come about by me holding my child ransom. He apparently wants to spend time with his child. The mother is the one on insisting that she be there too. OP is not being unreasonable. You need to forgive whoever wronged you and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don't want to commit to him (hence you're not married), why do you care if he goes on play dates with his ex gf and child?

Decide what YOU want in life and get it.

I do want to commit to him, and he says he wants to commit to me. We are in the process of going that route.

Does marriage vs. relationship make a difference in this situation?

OP, I haven't read this entire thread (it's too depressing) but of course it does. You have been playing house with him, and threw a poor child into the mix to boot.

Frankly, he doesn't sound like much of a prize (ex GF tries to get him incarcerated?) but here you have made him the father of your child.

[Anonymous]

he's still dating you both

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I would not be okay with this setup at all. She's already made it clear that she does not respect your relationship. Your boyfriend should not entertain this request period out of respect for your relationship. Yes he needs to spend time with his son but he can do so without her around. Sounds like she is trying to wiggle her way back in to try and get him back.

Also, please don't have anymore kids with this guy until he gets his babymomma situation fixed.

Why are you blaming the ex? This man doesn't respect this relationship. Nor either woman it appears

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they have a custody agreement? It sounds like they don't. They need one. That would spell out how much time he gets and how it is spent.

They do have a custody agreement. And they have a child support agreement. All through the courts. She expressed that she wants him to spend more time with the child, which is understandable. Just to me, it makes sense for the child to stay with us more often, not for him to go spend the time with her and the child.

It is HIS child. He has to make sure the child is comfortable before adding you into the mix. As others have said you are not married. You need to get your support etc.. on paper. This guy is about this other kid (and maybe your kid). Far only I don't see a problem with him putting bis kids bead of your insecurity.

Wow. I am the one that said that I'm still friends with my ex and we vacation together but it didn't come about by me holding my child ransom. He apparently wants to spend time with his child. The mother is the one on insisting that she be there too. OP is not being unreasonable. You need to forgive whoever wronged you and move on.

Well that's P/A. Any child shrink will tell you he needs to spend time with that child first. That child knows mom. She needs to be there initially. She can then back off. He continuous one on one until child is comfortable and THEN he adds the next baby mama to the mix. But why put the kid first when current gf to the mix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they have a custody agreement? It sounds like they don't. They need one. That would spell out how much time he gets and how it is spent.

They do have a custody agreement. And they have a child support agreement. All through the courts. She expressed that she wants him to spend more time with the child, which is understandable. Just to me, it makes sense for the child to stay with us more often, not for him to go spend the time with her and the child.

It is HIS child. He has to make sure the child is comfortable before adding you into the mix. As others have said you are not married. You need to get your support etc.. on paper. This guy is about this other kid (and maybe your kid). Far only I don't see a problem with him putting bis kids bead of your insecurity.

Wow. I am the one that said that I'm still friends with my ex and we vacation together but it didn't come about by me holding my child ransom. He apparently wants to spend time with his child. The mother is the one on insisting that she be there too. OP is not being unreasonable. You need to forgive whoever wronged you and move on.

Well that's P/A. Any child shrink will tell you he needs to spend time with that child first. That child knows mom. She needs to be there initially. She can then back off. He continuous one on one until child is comfortable and THEN he adds the next baby mama to the mix. But why put the kid first when current gf to the mix.

What are you talking about? He and his ex have a child and he has a child with the OP. Why do you think he should pretend to still be a family with the ex, when he has a new family? Yes, he should include his child with his ex in his new set up, but why the mother?

OP, have you asked him to take your child on these family outings? If the ex succeeds and they get back together, she will be step mother to your child. You and your child do not go away and neither does she and her child. How old are the children? You probably need to get your child support order in place and be ready to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they have a custody agreement? It sounds like they don't. They need one. That would spell out how much time he gets and how it is spent.

They do have a custody agreement. And they have a child support agreement. All through the courts. She expressed that she wants him to spend more time with the child, which is understandable. Just to me, it makes sense for the child to stay with us more often, not for him to go spend the time with her and the child.

It is HIS child. He has to make sure the child is comfortable before adding you into the mix. As others have said you are not married. You need to get your support etc.. on paper. This guy is about this other kid (and maybe your kid). Far only I don't see a problem with him putting bis kids bead of your insecurity.

Wow. I am the one that said that I'm still friends with my ex and we vacation together but it didn't come about by me holding my child ransom. He apparently wants to spend time with his child. The mother is the one on insisting that she be there too. OP is not being unreasonable. You need to forgive whoever wronged you and move on.

Well that's P/A. Any child shrink will tell you he needs to spend time with that child first. That child knows mom. She needs to be there initially. She can then back off. He continuous one on one until child is comfortable and THEN he adds the next baby mama to the mix. But why put the kid first when current gf to the mix.

Stop inventing stories and read the facts. He already spends time with his child, he just wants more time. It doesn't sound like he ever neglected his father role and is not just meeting his child. Why would the mother need to be there? She just wants to make sure his current relationship doesn't work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they have a custody agreement? It sounds like they don't. They need one. That would spell out how much time he gets and how it is spent.

They do have a custody agreement. And they have a child support agreement. All through the courts. She expressed that she wants him to spend more time with the child, which is understandable. Just to me, it makes sense for the child to stay with us more often, not for him to go spend the time with her and the child.

It is HIS child. He has to make sure the child is comfortable before adding you into the mix. As others have said you are not married. You need to get your support etc.. on paper. This guy is about this other kid (and maybe your kid). Far only I don't see a problem with him putting bis kids bead of your insecurity.

Wow. I am the one that said that I'm still friends with my ex and we vacation together but it didn't come about by me holding my child ransom. He apparently wants to spend time with his child. The mother is the one on insisting that she be there too. OP is not being unreasonable. You need to forgive whoever wronged you and move on.

Well that's P/A. Any child shrink will tell you he needs to spend time with that child first. That child knows mom. She needs to be there initially. She can then back off. He continuous one on one until child is comfortable and THEN he adds the next baby mama to the mix. But why put the kid first when current gf to the mix.

What are you talking about? He and his ex have a child and he has a child with the OP. Why do you think he should pretend to still be a family with the ex, when he has a new family? Yes, he should include his child with his ex in his new set up, but why the mother?

OP, have you asked him to take your child on these family outings? If the ex succeeds and they get back together, she will be step mother to your child. You and your child do not go away and neither does she and her child. How old are the children? You probably need to get your child support order in place and be ready to move on.

Nobody said pretend to be a family. I said put that kid first. You clearly are not trained. He needs to establish his relationship with that kid before adding anybody. Kid currently knows only mom. This is really not hard math. I go back to my primary premise. Op you best go get your support on paper. This is some Jerry Spinger crap. Fightin' over a dang sperm donor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do they have a custody agreement? It sounds like they don't. They need one. That would spell out how much time he gets and how it is spent.

+1. That way she won't be able to manipulate him with threats of not being able to see his child.