Gender Selection - Shady Grove Fertility

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted on the other thread but in case OP doesn't find it.

I did gender selection at GW. I had medically-indicated PGS performed on day 5 embryos and already had one child. At the time, I didn't even realize the gender selection was terribly controversial. I was given the information and I made the choice.

I have zero guilt about this decision. If it was possible to have less than zero guilt, that's how much non-guilt I would have. The designer baby comments are just kind of dopey. In these circumstances, it's not a designer baby (whatever the hell that catchphrase of the moment actually means to those using it). I needed PGS to have a baby and as a result I got to pick the gender that was the opposite of my existing kid. Big fucking deal. Really. I just wanted a healthy baby desperately at that point and would have been happy with anything. Anything. But because of the invasive, horrible, massively expensive, and emotionally devastating process I had to go through to have kids, I got to pick gender for my second kid. Yay for me. See zero guilt.

So basically woe is me, I had it the hardest ever ever ever, let me pretend I don't know what terms mean because I'm offended. Also, explain explain explain about something I claim not to care about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted on the other thread but in case OP doesn't find it.

I did gender selection at GW. I had medically-indicated PGS performed on day 5 embryos and already had one child. At the time, I didn't even realize the gender selection was terribly controversial. I was given the information and I made the choice.

I have zero guilt about this decision. If it was possible to have less than zero guilt, that's how much non-guilt I would have. The designer baby comments are just kind of dopey. In these circumstances, it's not a designer baby (whatever the hell that catchphrase of the moment actually means to those using it). I needed PGS to have a baby and as a result I got to pick the gender that was the opposite of my existing kid. Big fucking deal. Really. I just wanted a healthy baby desperately at that point and would have been happy with anything. Anything. But because of the invasive, horrible, massively expensive, and emotionally devastating process I had to go through to have kids, I got to pick gender for my second kid. Yay for me. See zero guilt.

The difference between you and the OP of the other thread is she wanted to pgs simply so she could select the gender for family balancing. That is effed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted on the other thread but in case OP doesn't find it.

I did gender selection at GW. I had medically-indicated PGS performed on day 5 embryos and already had one child. At the time, I didn't even realize the gender selection was terribly controversial. I was given the information and I made the choice.

I have zero guilt about this decision. If it was possible to have less than zero guilt, that's how much non-guilt I would have. The designer baby comments are just kind of dopey. In these circumstances, it's not a designer baby (whatever the hell that catchphrase of the moment actually means to those using it). I needed PGS to have a baby and as a result I got to pick the gender that was the opposite of my existing kid. Big fucking deal. Really. I just wanted a healthy baby desperately at that point and would have been happy with anything. Anything. But because of the invasive, horrible, massively expensive, and emotionally devastating process I had to go through to have kids, I got to pick gender for my second kid. Yay for me. See zero guilt.

The difference between you and the OP of the other thread is she wanted to pgs simply so she could select the gender for family balancing. That is effed up.

I also think it's different. My point is to let people know that there are different circumstances where this might come up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted on the other thread but in case OP doesn't find it.

I did gender selection at GW. I had medically-indicated PGS performed on day 5 embryos and already had one child. At the time, I didn't even realize the gender selection was terribly controversial. I was given the information and I made the choice.

I have zero guilt about this decision. If it was possible to have less than zero guilt, that's how much non-guilt I would have. The designer baby comments are just kind of dopey. In these circumstances, it's not a designer baby (whatever the hell that catchphrase of the moment actually means to those using it). I needed PGS to have a baby and as a result I got to pick the gender that was the opposite of my existing kid. Big fucking deal. Really. I just wanted a healthy baby desperately at that point and would have been happy with anything. Anything. But because of the invasive, horrible, massively expensive, and emotionally devastating process I had to go through to have kids, I got to pick gender for my second kid. Yay for me. See zero guilt.

So basically woe is me, I had it the hardest ever ever ever, let me pretend I don't know what terms mean because I'm offended. Also, explain explain explain about something I claim not to care about.

NP here. What term does the PP not know? I will also be doing PGS testing on my embryos (also medically indicated). I'm at SG so they won't be telling me anything about the sex, which is perfectly fine with me. After my last pregnancy ended horribly, I just want a healthy baby in my arms. If the information was presented to me without me asking for it, though, I would probably go ahead and pick and also not feel guilty about it. I guess the difference is that I tend to only get 1-2 blasts and would eventually transfer whatever made it to freeze.

The PP is pretending she doesn't know what is meant by designer baby, which is BS since she has one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted on the other thread but in case OP doesn't find it.

I did gender selection at GW. I had medically-indicated PGS performed on day 5 embryos and already had one child. At the time, I didn't even realize the gender selection was terribly controversial. I was given the information and I made the choice.

I have zero guilt about this decision. If it was possible to have less than zero guilt, that's how much non-guilt I would have. The designer baby comments are just kind of dopey. In these circumstances, it's not a designer baby (whatever the hell that catchphrase of the moment actually means to those using it). I needed PGS to have a baby and as a result I got to pick the gender that was the opposite of my existing kid. Big fucking deal. Really. I just wanted a healthy baby desperately at that point and would have been happy with anything. Anything. But because of the invasive, horrible, massively expensive, and emotionally devastating process I had to go through to have kids, I got to pick gender for my second kid. Yay for me. See zero guilt.

The difference between you and the OP of the other thread is she wanted to pgs simply so she could select the gender for family balancing. That is effed up.

I also think it's different. My point is to let people know that there are different circumstances where this might come up.

Absolutely. But OP's request is totally different.

OP can go to GIVF for ~family balancing~ but I think OP just wanted to start a shit storm (mission accomplished! ) because this has been rehashed a thousand times and the answers are easily found via search.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted on the other thread but in case OP doesn't find it.

I did gender selection at GW. I had medically-indicated PGS performed on day 5 embryos and already had one child. At the time, I didn't even realize the gender selection was terribly controversial. I was given the information and I made the choice.

I have zero guilt about this decision. If it was possible to have less than zero guilt, that's how much non-guilt I would have. The designer baby comments are just kind of dopey. In these circumstances, it's not a designer baby (whatever the hell that catchphrase of the moment actually means to those using it). I needed PGS to have a baby and as a result I got to pick the gender that was the opposite of my existing kid. Big fucking deal. Really. I just wanted a healthy baby desperately at that point and would have been happy with anything. Anything. But because of the invasive, horrible, massively expensive, and emotionally devastating process I had to go through to have kids, I got to pick gender for my second kid. Yay for me. See zero guilt.

The difference between you and the OP of the other thread is she wanted to pgs simply so she could select the gender for family balancing. That is effed up.

I also think it's different. My point is to let people know that there are different circumstances where this might come up.

Absolutely. But OP's request is totally different.

OP can go to GIVF for ~family balancing~ but I think OP just wanted to start a shit storm (mission accomplished! ) because this has been rehashed a thousand times and the answers are easily found via search.

True. Hopefully this thread can go away now! I'm over it.

[Anonymous]

SGF will do it if you have a possible gender linked condition. We have a child with ASD and there's about a 1 in 4 chance of a male sibling also being on the spectrum but only a 10% chance for girl sibs. Ultimately we decided against it ourselves for the cost and the feeling of "messing with things" a bit too much but SGF was very sensitive and open to it. I'm sure it would be even more important if you had a condition with a proven certain gender link.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine why anywhere wouldn't if you had a gender - linked issue.

I can't imagine how you could think you should have kids if you want to pay for a certain gender only.

The latter is called family balancing and is not against the currently acceptable medical ethics in the US. If you have 1 child, it's acceptable to request the opposite gender of the existing child. If people want to do it, it's not a crime against humanity. It's people like you who oppose fertility treatments all together - why, gasp, you can't imagine paying to have children...

Take a step back. No one is opposed to fertility treatments. I just think paying to create a designer child is a slippery slope. And family balancing is BS. There is a reason most clinics won't do it even if it is not technically against the rules. Because it is gross, and if you only want you perfect vision of a child you shouldn't have kids at all.

Actually, most clinics in this area do gender selection, get your facts straight. SG is an exception. If it's not against the rules why do you say people who want to family balance shouldn't have kids? You have some sort of religious gripe?

And if you go down the road of judging who should or shouldn't have kids at all: Is PGS also creating designer babies? Because all clinics do it. Embryo ratings. Testing during pregnancy for abnormal fetal development. Reducing if a twin is sick or if there are more than 2 fetuses. Aborting a fetus with Down's? Is all this playing into a perfect vision of a child? You may think so, but that's what ART involves.

You really are projecting here. You've already been told what the gripe is. It sounds to me like you gender selected and are very, very angry that someone doesn't support your decision. Get over it.

+1 she sounds a lot like the mom who posted recently looking for a clinic to do gender selection. She got burned there and this topic unfortunetly resurfaced.

I'm the OP of one of the recent threads on gender balancing - have two kids, boy and girl, plus nine embryos in storage with SGF, on the fence about a third, but if we decide to go for it, we'd want to select the gender. I didn't get burned at all. Some people got agitated but others offered helpful advice, especially the poster who got hers checked out at GW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted on the other thread but in case OP doesn't find it.

I did gender selection at GW. I had medically-indicated PGS performed on day 5 embryos and already had one child. At the time, I didn't even realize the gender selection was terribly controversial. I was given the information and I made the choice.

I have zero guilt about this decision. If it was possible to have less than zero guilt, that's how much non-guilt I would have. The designer baby comments are just kind of dopey. In these circumstances, it's not a designer baby (whatever the hell that catchphrase of the moment actually means to those using it). I needed PGS to have a baby and as a result I got to pick the gender that was the opposite of my existing kid. Big fucking deal. Really. I just wanted a healthy baby desperately at that point and would have been happy with anything. Anything. But because of the invasive, horrible, massively expensive, and emotionally devastating process I had to go through to have kids, I got to pick gender for my second kid. Yay for me. See zero guilt.

The difference between you and the OP of the other thread is she wanted to pgs simply so she could select the gender for family balancing. That is effed up.

Oh don't make things up, of course we'd want a full karyotyping done and would transfer only chromosomally normal embryos. We just want to be able to choose which one of the chromosomally normal embryos gets priority placement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is true that Shady Grove doesn't allow the gender selection if we do the PGS? It just seem odd to me that we pay $3K for PGS and we can't select the gender we want. I know Dominion Fertility let you know the gender and which one to put it back.

SG will not allow you to select gender barring specific gender-linked disorders. If you want to select for gender, you'll need to transfer your embryos into a clinic that does allow it. I understand Dominion and GW will allow you to select the gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine why anywhere wouldn't if you had a gender - linked issue.


In that case, shouldn't selective abortion for preferred gender also be encouraged?

silly analogy

#1 - not sure gender selection is "encouraged" at any clinic - simply leaving it up to parents decided.
#2 - for those unfortunate women who have to go through a selective reduction when carrying multiples - all else being equal, they will allow you to decide which embryo to reduce based on gender
#3 - since anyone can get an abortion, whose to say that someone women don't decide to get one based on gender ..

[Anonymous]

Hard to get an abortion that late in the game for most.

PP wanting to "balance" their third child, do you even understand what balancing is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hard to get an abortion that late in the game for most.

PP wanting to "balance" their third child, do you even understand what balancing is?

We all know what it means in this context. I am happy to call it selection since that's what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hard to get an abortion that late in the game for most.

PP wanting to "balance" their third child, do you even understand what balancing is?

late in the game? you can find out gender at 7 weeks with blood test these days. don't think pp was saying people actually do it, but that it could be done.

selection/balancing whatever... if people want to do it, and it's not against current medical ethics, then what's the big deal about letting them do it? Everyone makes their own decisions and does what's right for them. why do folks feel their opinions are always on the "right"side of the issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hard to get an abortion that late in the game for most.

PP wanting to "balance" their third child, do you even understand what balancing is?

late in the game? you can find out gender at 7 weeks with blood test these days. don't think pp was saying people actually do it, but that it could be done.

selection/balancing whatever... if people want to do it, and it's not against current medical ethics, then what's the big deal about letting them do it? Everyone makes their own decisions and does what's right for them. why do folks feel their opinions are always on the "right"side of the issue?

Hmm, why do you think your opinion that it is ok is right?