Spanking

[Anonymous]

PP again - and I have a really difficult child (has a hard time at school, meeting with specialists, you name it). Whom I would never spank. Read parenting books, take a class, do whatever you need to do to learn how to parent more effectively. Because you don't need to hit. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again - and I have a really difficult child (has a hard time at school, meeting with specialists, you name it). Whom I would never spank. Read parenting books, take a class, do whatever you need to do to learn how to parent more effectively. Because you don't need to hit. Ever.

I think you're confused. If your child is seeing specialists presumably he/she has some sort of condition that's being diagnosed? What OP is referring to, i think is correcting defiance, not beating a child who needs a doctor.

[Anonymous]

Spanking is illegal in more advanced countries. It is just sad that it still isn't in the US and that some less educated people still believe it's the thing to do. It is useless. It is disgusting. It is despicable.

People who spank their children have lost control. People who spank their children don't know any better. People who spank their children are clueless. People who spank their children are not educated on how to raise children in the 21st century.

Children who respond to spanking do so out of fear. They don't learn anything but to try their best to avoid getting hurt. And those kids will either come to detest their parents and try their best to be anything but their parents...or they will grow to become parents who spank themselves.

I am against judging people. But if you spank your child you must be judged harshly because public shaming of spanking is the ONLY way to stop this.

And to everyone saying "My child doesn't respond to anything else." - you are wrong. You haven't done it right yet. I guarantee that any child on this planet can be raised properly without spanking. You have to want to put in the effort of course...

[Anonymous]

I was spanked as a child. Wooden spoon on the butt! It stopped the immediate problem, which was always me fighting with my sister but really did nothing to change long term behavior. Plus, as we got older we pretty much figured out how to still fight, but avoid the spoon. I turned out fine and have no anger over the wooden spoon, in fact we laugh about it now. But again, it was pretty ineffective.

If there is an immediate need to stop a behavior with my kid, I will probably give a pop on the butt in a rare occasion. BUT, I will address long term behavior changes and follow up with a time out, a talk and/or take away privileges.

[Anonymous]

We use spanking judiciously, typically between the ages of 3 and 8. It's not the first resort, but it is used when necessary to correct misbehavior that has not been corrected by other methods.

We will do the calm, over-the-lap style after removing the child from the situation and having a quick talk about behavior, choices, and consequences.

There is no reliable or controlled research on this topic. Usually, the researchers don't even feign an attempt to separate causation from correlation. However, not all the pseudo research shows bad results. When researchesrs have isolated spanking to, I believe, two or three swats, for only certain ages of children, some studies have shown positive long-term outcomes. (Again, I don't think this is specifically from the spanking, but the point is, that it can be a reasonalbe form of discipline.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. No child needs to be beaten or spanked. It is the cheap and easy way out.

+ 1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again - and I have a really difficult child (has a hard time at school, meeting with specialists, you name it). Whom I would never spank. Read parenting books, take a class, do whatever you need to do to learn how to parent more effectively. Because you don't need to hit. Ever.

This.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you need to hit, but sometimes it's the best option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What lesson, specifically, are you trying to teach your kid?
How do you feel that spanking will teach it?

At this point it's to stop the behavior before expulsion.-op

Then spanking won't help at all.

You need to give your child coping techniques, relaxation methods. You may need input from a pediatrician or a professional of some kind. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask.

[Anonymous]

Why do you say so definitively that spanking won't help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't spank a child but I love when my husband spanks me. Turns me on!

OP, don't dismiss this post.

With all due respect for the PP (I have nothing against any kind of sexual behaviour between/among consenting adults), the fact that if you google this "parenting technique" you get a heap of fetish sites should give you pause.

[Anonymous]

No, spanking is not going to help long run. I suggest other methods.

[Anonymous]

You can find sites for diaper fetishists, and shoe fetishists. Does that give you pause?

[Anonymous]

The occasional, disciplinary, controlled spanking is exactly what my boys need every now and then. And believe me, it works like nothing else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, kids do not need to be spanked. And, IMO, kids do not need to be given time-outs. It sounds like, if you are having that many troubles, you need to try a more positive, loving parenting approach. I don't mean that to be condescending, but if you're using a punitive approach to working with your children it could backfire (i.e., just create more problems now and down the road).

Says the mother of the spoiled brats who scream and run around bothering everyone else and who grow up to be bullies. Children need discipline so that they become decent members of society.