Need to gracefully end financial support

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wrong. Any time money is involved, you have a transaction whether or not you realize it. The dispassion and common sense with which you should approach business transactions rarely work well with family, hence why you should mix family and money only with the greatest reluctance. OP might have intended a gift, but human beings grow entitled very quickly. Having learnt the joys of freeloading, OP's relatives are not going to be eager to go back to living within their means. Last year they reached into OP's pockets, this year is the grandparents, next year, the hunt will be on for some other sucker.

^^ this.

Helping with groceries, power bill, keeping them from losing their home I can understand.

Maintaining a higher standard of living for them than you do your own family is enabling. The sooner they realize their lifestyle needs to change to fit their income - the better. Asking relatives for money to pay for private school is ludicrous! Are the IL's going to pay for a tropical vacation for this family too?

[Anonymous]

Has OP weighed in again yet? The consensus is that this is ridiculous and OP you should just have the direct conversation, don't explain or make excuses, and if they ask questions, simply ask them straight out "Why do you think it's ok to ask us to pay for something for you that we don't even pay for our own kids? If you assumed this would go past the end of the year, that was a wrong assumption. If you need any help researching public schools, let us know, we know a lot especially the schools our kids are in."

End of story.

To make it more complicated than that, no matter what they say, is YOU enabling or allowing it to get complicated OP.

ANd by the way, you should cut off the financial support completely. They may well come back with other "needs". But you've done your part, and most importantly of all, if you keep giving them support you are ENABLING them being dependent sponges. Cut it off. It's actually what's best for them and you've done more than your part already. Dont let your parents try to convince you of it either.

What else are you still unsure about OP?

[Anonymous]

I'll buy groceries, I'll put gas in your car, I might pay a gas/water/power bill but I am not paying for anything you don't need.

[Anonymous]

You gotta read the posts people. The OP came back on page 2 and said her inlaws were going to pick up the tab for the Catholic school tuition.

[Anonymous]

OP, they got what they wanted (next year's tuition) from the grandparents. But I'd be wary of them in the future when it comes to anything involving money. If they are this willing to live outside their means and on someone else's dime, they are possibly going to keep on doing so.

If I were your husband, I'd be worried that my parents were endangering their retirement money just to put the grandkids through private school.

The arrangement for now is between SIL/BIL and the grandparents so I wouldn't say anything, but your husband should be keeping an eye out for his parents' financial welfare. He may have to say something if his brother/SIL continue to suck away his parents' money. Unless the grandparents are really well off, this would worry me, but it's not your family's issue. Yet.

And OP, kudos to you for doing a kind thing for those kids and enabling them to finish the school year without turmoil.