Including Parents in IEP Meetings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents get threatened with a letter that the team will hold a meeting without them if they ask the team to reschedule, but what does MCPS expect from parents when they ask to reschedule and for an extension waiver because of a scheduling conflict? I have to laugh because that is just what happened to me.

Professional training is deeply needed for MCPS staff. Treating parents badly really sets up an adversarial relationship between home and school and it creates a barrier to collaboration. It sets the tone that any issue will be a battle even before anyone sets foot into the IEP meeting.

I guess the parent can hold the meeting without the staff. That's the logical conclusion, right? Man, that would be efficient!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MCPS has a long way to go when it comes to including Parents as part of the IEP "TEAM". I received the rudest letter today saying that the school has attempted to schedule the meeting 3 times so either I make the meeting or not. They are going to have the meeting on the day and time they chose regardless if I can attend.

Frankly, if I wrote that type of letter in my line of work, I would loose my job. I get that the school has procrastinated scheduling an annual review IEP meeting for my child (like they ALWAYS DO) and they are under pressure to schedule the meeting on short notice but my husband and I also have responsibilities that conflicted with their 2 previously proposed times including another IEP meeting at another MCPS school. I hope that the letter is in my child's confidential file because it is a clear record of barriers MCPS parents face to be equal participants.

Is anyone else treated in this manner or is this just an incompetent boob that has no skills when it comes to dealing with the pubic?

Lose

[Anonymous]

Many parents don't want to take the time off I understand that but that's one of the burdens with SN kids. Often a spouse will have to go part time or take a less stressful job.

[Anonymous]

Try doing this in private school and tell me how bad it is. You will changing your tune.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The school DOES do things the way you say. 90% of meetings are scheduled perfectly during planning periods, months in advance, with parents and other specialists in attendance. The trouble with classroom coverage comes when the parent cancels at the last minute, is late, reschedules the day before, etc--then the school has to scramble to get us all in the room at the same time.

I have stayed at school until 6 pm multiple times to hold these meetings, arranging alternate child care for my own children so that I could be present at an important IEP that we could not schedule during the school day. For a parent willing to work with the school, who physically could not get to school between 7-3 pm, we will move mountains to make something work.

For a parent who just responds with, "Can't do 10:00 tomorrow, important meeting came up, I'll be there at noon", then yes, I'm going to be ticked off that I had to leave my entire class (filled with other children who have IEPs just as valid as your child's).

Life happens. People die unexpectedly. People get sick unexpectedly. People have last minute work meetings they have to attend or risk losing their job. If your school hasn't figured out a systematic way to cope with this, it's their own fault. Are you really telling me in the whole school, there's not one person to cover a class in an emergency? What happens if a teacher gets ill during the day?

And, I'm not exactly sympathetic to your anger about having to stay until 6pm for meetings and having to find alternate child care. For many of us that is a frequent reality of life.

Again, your anger speaks volumes about how you feel about special ed parents and children -- we are demanding more than is "fair", in your opinion.

What school in MCPS stays till 6pm for an IEP meeting? I have requested an afterhours meetings because of my work situation and the school refused and held the meeting without me.

What is your "work situation" that won;t let you take a few hours off. Teacher have lives outside of the school

To me, this comment is the epitome of the kind of prejudice that creates inequity in school. There are many many peoe who don't get time off work or who can't afford time off work - from the hourly worker to the single mom to all kinds of people.

Shame on you.

[Anonymous]

I am with the school, for once. Both parents don't need to be there. Charge "personal leave" for once. I am a defense contractor with strict core hours. However, I always go to my DS' IEP no matter what. I just give at least a week's notice to my government POC. I've been with the company for 7 years and this client for 5. Not once did I get in trouble. Yes, I charge PTO and if I can, I make up the hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always initiate the discussion of IEP meetings early on. I send the email about 4-6 weeks ahead of the date. That way we can schedule it enough in advance that there are no conflicts- or existing conflicts can be moved.

Yup. I've done this several times and they've always been receptive and helpful and we easily reach an agreement before the official letter gets written.
But I also adore my son's IEP team and have found them very helpful, professional, and all around awesome.

[Anonymous]

In FCPS, the meeting doesn't happen if the parent isn't available. I can't believe a school team would hold a meeting without a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many times would be acceptable for them to try to reschedule the meeting? It usually involves getting multiple teachers and support staff together in the same room, so there are limited time slots where it is possible.

You can do it as a phone call if you can't be there in person.

This is how I do scheduling in my job. Before the formal invite, I would check with the people whom I am trying to schedule a meeting with. The school has my contact information including email and cell phone. I know the school team usually meets on Wednesday so just ask me to hold several Wednesdays on my calendar till the rest of the team can be confirmed.

Another issue is the delay in getting the invites out. It usually takes me about 10 days to get the letter via certified mail. I think it must sit in the office a few days because the stamp on the envelope is 3 days after the letter invite date. I have offered to pick up the letters at school within 24 hours when ready so they would expedite the delivery and my response plus save $8 in postage. As it is, I often do not get the legally minimal amount of parental notification when the meeting is.

One complicating factor is when parents have experts, advocates, or attorneys to attend as well. These are professionals that have other clients and appointments. I'm sure the school would love for parents and children to be unrepresented at IEP meetings and they try to intimidate and force a meeting even when such tactics are uncalled for. In the real world, scheduling meetings takes time and coordination. Parents have the right to bring in professionals that they think would be helpful and schools should be accommodating to everyone's schedules.

It is not rocket science - pick up the phone or email out to get a list of proposed times so parents can know the school's list of preferred times (more than one would be great) and parents can plan to fit into one of those options,

This is so not true. As a teacher, I desperately want every single person who knows anything about a child in those meetings. I promise you that the people I work with WANT your child to be successful--truly.

I have attended 20+ IEPs this year as the gen ed teacher in the room, and I assure you that we do our best when it comes to scheduling. I often end up having to find coverage for my class so I can attend (meaning that 25+ other kids go without a teacher so that one child can have 30 minutes of my undivided attention). I'm sorry that you are not satisfied with the way your school is handling things.

As for the notification, that is handled by the central office (in FCPS at least). We write up all the documentation at the school, then send it to the central office who ultimately sends it home to parents. (Maybe they do something with the info first? I don't know). That's why it takes so long. I agree that it should be electronicized (or whatever the word would be) at this point.

Dear Teacher -- The way you characterize your participation in IEP meetings is a classic example of the stigma Special Ed students face. Special Ed students are often characterized as unfairly taking time away from other children. (You say, 25+ kids go without a teacher so that one child can have 30 minutes of my undivided attention). In reality, the way that school ( a public good paid for by citizen taxes) is organized has the effect of not serving or underserving disabled students. Your school could easily structure its workforce to enable you to participate AND have a fully qualified teacher cover your class, but, I'm sure that they would rather pay for more upper management, a higher superintendent salary, more BoE entertaining expenses, renovated football fields or whatever. If you want to be mad at someone that YOU have to "find coverage" and your students "go without a teacher," then blame the administrative staff who staff and set up the system this way.

BTW, you are not supposed to "do your best" in scheduling a meeting; you are supposed to comply with the LAW, which provides a certain number of days to schedule a meeting and requires that school systems enable parents to participate as EQUAL IEP team members.

Finally, it is my experience that schools absolutely DO bully parents into not attending meetings or attending without their advocate. My own school principal and I had a long running difference about whether and how my child would be coded for an IEP and what kind of service he would be provided. When my advocate had an unexpected funeral to attend, the principal refused to reschedule the meeting and tried to bully me into attending without the advocate. Thankfully, my advocate advised me to write the kind of letter advised by PPs above -- expressing my desire to attend, providing three alternative dates when the advocate and I could attend, and using my now-favorite closing phrase, "I hope that you will work collaboratively with me, so I do not have to resort to due process remedies."

In 24 hours, I had a new meeting date, without waiving the timeline.

Schools make it extremely difficult to schedule meetings. I am ALWAYS told "well we only do these on X day and we are full up for the next month". I have been pressed to waive timelines more than once. (I never do, and I always get a meeting within the timeline, because IT'S THE LAW).

Schools also make it extremely difficult for parents to participate as equal IEP team members in other ways -- they refuse to allow parents to observe their kids in the classroom, they refuse to allow parents to observe a proposed placement, they refuse to tell parents what instructional program offerings are available in the system and what qualifications a child needs, they meet as a team without the parents to agree on steps prior to the IEP meeting, etc.

The ONLY time I have not experienced being jerked around scheduling meetings is when I finally broke down and hired an attorney. In that scenario, the attorney enters his representation and the school staff must coordinate attorney to attorney to schedule the meeting (because it is considered unethical in the legal profession to talk directly to a client who is represented by counsel because that is considered an attempt to exert undue influence against a less knowledgeable person).

God, I love you so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The school DOES do things the way you say. 90% of meetings are scheduled perfectly during planning periods, months in advance, with parents and other specialists in attendance. The trouble with classroom coverage comes when the parent cancels at the last minute, is late, reschedules the day before, etc--then the school has to scramble to get us all in the room at the same time.

I have stayed at school until 6 pm multiple times to hold these meetings, arranging alternate child care for my own children so that I could be present at an important IEP that we could not schedule during the school day. For a parent willing to work with the school, who physically could not get to school between 7-3 pm, we will move mountains to make something work.

For a parent who just responds with, "Can't do 10:00 tomorrow, important meeting came up, I'll be there at noon", then yes, I'm going to be ticked off that I had to leave my entire class (filled with other children who have IEPs just as valid as your child's).

Life happens. People die unexpectedly. People get sick unexpectedly. People have last minute work meetings they have to attend or risk losing their job. If your school hasn't figured out a systematic way to cope with this, it's their own fault. Are you really telling me in the whole school, there's not one person to cover a class in an emergency? What happens if a teacher gets ill during the day?

And, I'm not exactly sympathetic to your anger about having to stay until 6pm for meetings and having to find alternate child care. For many of us that is a frequent reality of life.

Again, your anger speaks volumes about how you feel about special ed parents and children -- we are demanding more than is "fair", in your opinion.

It's not one person, of course - it's everyone who has to attend the meeting. Allowing you the opportunity to participate =/= permitting you to reschedule, to whatever time you choose, at the last minute (obviously).

[Anonymous]

Who said anything about "at the last minute"? It sounds like OP's school scheduled a meeting time without checking with her first, and mailed a letter stating that time without calling or emailing first to run it by her. That is antithetical to a "team" approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The school DOES do things the way you say. 90% of meetings are scheduled perfectly during planning periods, months in advance, with parents and other specialists in attendance. The trouble with classroom coverage comes when the parent cancels at the last minute, is late, reschedules the day before, etc--then the school has to scramble to get us all in the room at the same time.

I have stayed at school until 6 pm multiple times to hold these meetings, arranging alternate child care for my own children so that I could be present at an important IEP that we could not schedule during the school day. For a parent willing to work with the school, who physically could not get to school between 7-3 pm, we will move mountains to make something work.

For a parent who just responds with, "Can't do 10:00 tomorrow, important meeting came up, I'll be there at noon", then yes, I'm going to be ticked off that I had to leave my entire class (filled with other children who have IEPs just as valid as your child's).

Life happens. People die unexpectedly. People get sick unexpectedly. People have last minute work meetings they have to attend or risk losing their job. If your school hasn't figured out a systematic way to cope with this, it's their own fault. Are you really telling me in the whole school, there's not one person to cover a class in an emergency? What happens if a teacher gets ill during the day?

And, I'm not exactly sympathetic to your anger about having to stay until 6pm for meetings and having to find alternate child care. For many of us that is a frequent reality of life.

Again, your anger speaks volumes about how you feel about special ed parents and children -- we are demanding more than is "fair", in your opinion.

It's not one person, of course - it's everyone who has to attend the meeting. Allowing you the opportunity to participate =/= permitting you to reschedule, to whatever time you choose, at the last minute (obviously).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who said anything about "at the last minute"? It sounds like OP's school scheduled a meeting time without checking with her first, and mailed a letter stating that time without calling or emailing first to run it by her. That is antithetical to a "team" approach.

Op here. I gave them notice and rationale of why I couldn't be at the meeting within 5 minutes of opening the invitation letters. I could have told them sooner if they called or emailed me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who said anything about "at the last minute"? It sounds like OP's school scheduled a meeting time without checking with her first, and mailed a letter stating that time without calling or emailing first to run it by her. That is antithetical to a "team" approach.

Op here. I gave them notice and rationale of why I couldn't be at the meeting within 5 minutes of opening the invitation letters. I could have told them sooner if they called or emailed me.

Next year, I would be more proactive and email them with your availability prior to receiving the letter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The school DOES do things the way you say. 90% of meetings are scheduled perfectly during planning periods, months in advance, with parents and other specialists in attendance. The trouble with classroom coverage comes when the parent cancels at the last minute, is late, reschedules the day before, etc--then the school has to scramble to get us all in the room at the same time.

I have stayed at school until 6 pm multiple times to hold these meetings, arranging alternate child care for my own children so that I could be present at an important IEP that we could not schedule during the school day. For a parent willing to work with the school, who physically could not get to school between 7-3 pm, we will move mountains to make something work.

For a parent who just responds with, "Can't do 10:00 tomorrow, important meeting came up, I'll be there at noon", then yes, I'm going to be ticked off that I had to leave my entire class (filled with other children who have IEPs just as valid as your child's).

Life happens. People die unexpectedly. People get sick unexpectedly. People have last minute work meetings they have to attend or risk losing their job. If your school hasn't figured out a systematic way to cope with this, it's their own fault. Are you really telling me in the whole school, there's not one person to cover a class in an emergency? What happens if a teacher gets ill during the day?

And, I'm not exactly sympathetic to your anger about having to stay until 6pm for meetings and having to find alternate child care. For many of us that is a frequent reality of life.

Again, your anger speaks volumes about how you feel about special ed parents and children -- we are demanding more than is "fair", in your opinion.

It's not one person, of course - it's everyone who has to attend the meeting. Allowing you the opportunity to participate =/= permitting you to reschedule, to whatever time you choose, at the last minute (obviously).

Wow. Interesting phrase. Allowing the parents the opportunity to participate? Do the parents "allow" the school staff to participate? The parents are equal members of the IEP team, no one is graciously "allowing" anyone else to participate.