when almost divorced family members get back together

[Anonymous]

OP, what it sounds like you're saying is that your "love" for your sister-in-law is dependent on who she is or isn't fucking. If she was a good person while married to your brother, then she was still a good person when she left, and she's still a good person now that she's back. You may love and like your brother, but you aren't married to him. He could have said some very cruel things to her, things you could "understand" but which she may have needed to process. Maybe they weren't having sex. Maybe he was depressed, or she had to pull teeth to get him to socialize or attend fun events with her or the family. Maybe he said low level mean shit, "My mom always had the house clean when my dad got home, why can't you". "My dad never took my mom out on date nights, I don't see why I have to, I married you, didn't I?" I'd congradulate them for working it out, and if they truly are dysfunctional, don't let it spill over into you. Invite them to your house but don't put up with pot smoking. No lending of money, whatever behavior you don't find acceptable. Realize OP that nobody acts maturely during a separation, just like nobody looks good while taking a dump or puking.

[Anonymous]

Let it go. It's not your marriage to fix and you will always come off as the bad guy.

And honestly, it takes two to argue. She may have done despicable things, but your brother probably isn't innocent either. Make sure you get all sides of the story before judging.

[Anonymous]

I looked the one who left. However, what actually happened is my DH asked for a "cooling off period." I couldn't handle a partial separation or an indefinite time in limbo waiting for him to make up his mind, so I went full no contact. There were no kids involved. Yes, I looked like the evil witch who left. Not exactly true.