husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Why is it his responsibility to introduce you to his friends' wives so you have friends? Make your own friends. Join more groups. Get out there and make a life for yourself.


This was my reaction as well. My spouse and I have our own friends.


Because I work from home and am new to the area.

Big deal. Still doesn't make him responsible for making friends for you.

[Anonymous]

Have to say its suspicious. This excuse about culture or religion is just bs and likely a coverup. You're in the U.S. and not in Saudi. Presumably he likes being in the U.S. and is enjoying the parts of the culture that suit him, eg hanging with international crowd .

My ex is from one of those cultures and during years of relationship I never socialized with any of his friends even though he would very often (twice a week or so) go out with his male friends for a "coffee or tea". Turns out every single one of them (all married with kids) were at various stages either drinking, cheating, going to clubs or strip clubs and using drugs. Hope it's not your case but keep an open eye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It seems odd that he would refuse when asked. Even in cultures where men and women do not mix, women are introduced to one another. It's at its most basic rather unkind of the husband not to find a way to make the introduction, even by simply passing along her contact info for his friend's wife with an explanation that she works from home but would love to meet her. Placing the burden on her to somehow meet people is flat out mean. Even if she manages to build relationships with other women, this would be hard to forget.

Ascribing this to culture as if well that just covers it seems wrong.

Op here. Yes, this is exactly how I feel. It's very hard to find people of my ethnic background here in Athens. I'm from Uzbekistan. My husband is Arab. He doesn't socialize much with his friends. It's really frustrating that he's not trying to help me. He's been living here longer and he's a student so it's easier for him to meet people. It just seems mean!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have to say its suspicious. This excuse about culture or religion is just bs and likely a coverup. You're in the U.S. and not in Saudi. Presumably he likes being in the U.S. and is enjoying the parts of the culture that suit him, eg hanging with international crowd .

My ex is from one of those cultures and during years of relationship I never socialized with any of his friends even though he would very often (twice a week or so) go out with his male friends for a "coffee or tea". Turns out every single one of them (all married with kids) were at various stages either drinking, cheating, going to clubs or strip clubs and using drugs. Hope it's not your case but keep an open eye.

I don't think so. Mixing isn't part of the culture for most muslims. My husband is never out with his friends in the evenings so I'm not worried about what he does with his friends .

He thinks I should make all my friends at the mosque.unfortunately most of the people there are all significantly older. mostly they're around 50 and Pakistani. I think there are a lot of girls that don't come to the mosque because they have young children . I will have to wait for Ramadan I guess and hope to meet someone at a party.

[Anonymous]

Oooh tough. Can u meet people from your work? Or neighbors? You need to get out or chat with peipke

[Anonymous]

People. Oops

[Anonymous]

If he comes from a background where men & women don't socialize, then he doesn't know his friends' wives well, so he's not really in a position to introduce you. It also may put the wives of a similar background in an uncomfortable position to be receiving communications from your husband - that doesn't go over well in all cultures.

What you can do is invite these couples over for a dinner party, and see if you click with any of the women you meet. Then take the friendship from a group setting to one-on-one.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. My husband is Arab too. He doesn't socialize much and doesn't understand why I'd like to do more. He thinks if I've got a nice home, a cleaning service, etc. I should be happy hanging out at home. Just because he would be. Maybe your husband is similar.

In any event, are there any international clubs or associations you can join? Can you take a class at the university just as an "in" to various clubs? Is there a kind "Auntie" at the mosque you could approach and ask if there may be a way to meet women your age, since you are new and would love to make friends? Where I'm from the busybody Aunties like this are a dime a dozen.

Ask questions about ethnic food stores, etc. You may find community newspapers and flyers there with information on things to do. Does the mosque have Islamic weekend school for kids? Is that something you could volunteer at? Teacher's helper? You might have better luck meeting young moms there.

Some schools have programs/meet ups for students' spouses, too.

Good luck. Moving is hard.

[Anonymous]

5:21 again.

I found a list of local organizations. And it has a newcomers club.
http://www.libs.uga.edu/athens/organizations.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5:21 again.

I found a list of local organizations. And it has a newcomers club.
http://www.libs.uga.edu/athens/organizations.html

And an interfaith cultural organization.

http://www.interfaithathens.org/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5:21 again.

I found a list of local organizations. And it has a newcomers club.
http://www.libs.uga.edu/athens/organizations.html

And an interfaith cultural organization.

http://www.interfaithathens.org/

And International Student Life at University of Athens has a Facebook page. You could follow that and/or email/message them for ideas about activities and meeting people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. My husband is Arab too. He doesn't socialize much and doesn't understand why I'd like to do more. He thinks if I've got a nice home, a cleaning service, etc. I should be happy hanging out at home. Just because he would be. Maybe your husband is similar.

In any event, are there any international clubs or associations you can join? Can you take a class at the university just as an "in" to various clubs? Is there a kind "Auntie" at the mosque you could approach and ask if there may be a way to meet women your age, since you are new and would love to make friends? Where I'm from the busybody Aunties like this are a dime a dozen.

Ask questions about ethnic food stores, etc. You may find community newspapers and flyers there with information on things to do. Does the mosque have Islamic weekend school for kids? Is that something you could volunteer at? Teacher's helper? You might have better luck meeting young moms there.

Some schools have programs/meet ups for students' spouses, too.

Good luck. Moving is hard.

(

Haha yes this sounds like my husband!
,

[Anonymous]

wow

[Anonymous]

Has he introduced you to his friends as well?

If not, then it seems he is ashamed of you.

Which is pretty crummy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why is it his responsibility to introduce you to his friends' wives so you have friends? Make your own friends. Join more groups. Get out there and make a life for yourself.


This was my reaction as well. My spouse and I have our own friends.


Because I work from home and am new to the area.

Big deal. Still doesn't make him responsible for making friends for you.

Whatever happened to acts of kindness between spouses? To consideration? Some people, really.