If you could go back to when they were 7 - would you change anything or do it over again?

[Anonymous]

If I could go back in time -- not to age 7 but probably by age 9 or 10 -- I would have had more daughter evaluated for ADHD and LDs. We waited to do this until high school and it made the whole process so much more difficult. I wish I'd followed my gut and gotten her tested much earlier. Maybe this would have saved us and her so frustration and heartache, I don't know?

[Anonymous]

^ our daughter, not more daughter

[Anonymous]

I would have evaluated our private schools. One was great, they other wasn't worth the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these admissions threads already have me feeling nauseous. If you were me, with a highly-distracted 7 year old who is going to be a challenge to get to focus on either sports or a musical instrument, and you could go back in time and do something differently (or the same, if it worked out well) -- what would you do over or do differently?

Move to a region of the country, like southern California, where your children can be outdoors all year, where there are people from many backgrounds and walks of life, where the people do all sorts of different things, and where everyone is generally happier, and certainly less intense.

The grass is always greener...

Not much green grass out there these days...Love this thread though, please keep them coming...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these admissions threads already have me feeling nauseous. If you were me, with a highly-distracted 7 year old who is going to be a challenge to get to focus on either sports or a musical instrument, and you could go back in time and do something differently (or the same, if it worked out well) -- what would you do over or do differently?

Move to a region of the country, like southern California, where your children can be outdoors all year, where there are people from many backgrounds and walks of life, where the people do all sorts of different things, and where everyone is generally happier, and certainly less intense.

I think LA is just as much of a rat race re HS/college admissions as Metro DC is at this point. Endless resume building and schlepping kids to lessons and academic pressure. My sibs still live in CA and their kids are confronting the same issues and attitudes there that mine are here.

I had one child go through high school in L.A. and another in DC, and have spent considerable time raising my children in both places. No comparison, the west coast is a much more relaxed, open, outdoors, less stressful, less scheduled, more independent, diverse and adventurous place to raise children. I wish we could have stayed there throughout our DCs' entire childhood years.

LA is not more "diverse" than the Washington DC greater metro area. They're both ridiculously and wonderfully diverse in every definition of that word.

Having lived for long periods of time in both places, I can unequivocally say that yes, L.A. is much more diverse in every way than Washington. DC is lovely, but it feels like a small, socioeconomically segregated city compared to L.A. It's just a healthier place to raise children out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these admissions threads already have me feeling nauseous. If you were me, with a highly-distracted 7 year old who is going to be a challenge to get to focus on either sports or a musical instrument, and you could go back in time and do something differently (or the same, if it worked out well) -- what would you do over or do differently?

First of all, if you are worried about your 7 year old and college, you have a larger problem. You just need to stop the madness. This isn't a competition where the winner gets into Harvard. The sooner you learn that, the happier you and your child would be.

The one thing I would change is that I would have learned that.

Why would you force a 7 year old who doesn't want to do these things to do them? Why would you get bent out of shape about it? He's 7!

If this distraction interferes with his ability to perform in school or socialize, have him evaluated for ADHD. Many kids with ADHD are diagnosed in 3rd grade because of the increased demands that year.

But please stop reading these discussions about college. It isn;t healthy.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with her question, and it doesn't mean she's obsessed. How many of us have wished we could go back and do something differently? Thinking about this now, being able to help guide your child through their years so that the college application process isn't as crazed and stressful for them when the time comes, is a great forward-thinking thing. It's just being careful not to be over-the-top about it. To let your kids make choices with advice you can provide them, from parents who've been through it and learned lessons that we'd all benefit from. I for one am glad to hear this input so I can keep it in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these admissions threads already have me feeling nauseous. If you were me, with a highly-distracted 7 year old who is going to be a challenge to get to focus on either sports or a musical instrument, and you could go back in time and do something differently (or the same, if it worked out well) -- what would you do over or do differently?

First of all, if you are worried about your 7 year old and college, you have a larger problem. You just need to stop the madness. This isn't a competition where the winner gets into Harvard. The sooner you learn that, the happier you and your child would be.

The one thing I would change is that I would have learned that.

Why would you force a 7 year old who doesn't want to do these things to do them? Why would you get bent out of shape about it? He's 7!

If this distraction interferes with his ability to perform in school or socialize, have him evaluated for ADHD. Many kids with ADHD are diagnosed in 3rd grade because of the increased demands that year.

But please stop reading these discussions about college. It isn;t healthy.

+100!!!!

No, I would not go back to age 7 and change anything again, BTW.

[Anonymous]

Let your 7 year old do whatever she loves. If she loves sports, great. If she wants to play an instrument, ok. But let her choose what she loves to do. And certainly don't do it for future college admissions. Why are you even looking at the college forum?

Unlike other countries, every one who wants to go to college can get into one in the US. And, even the lower tier public colleges produce talented, hire-able graduates who go on to have great lives.

[Anonymous]

The reading aloud to the 6th grader and 16 yr old tear-ed me up.

OP: I actually don't care if my child gets into a "fancypants" school. My DH went to two. I went to two public schools. I make more money and have a better career right now. It's fine. I am NOT bragging. I am just saying that a lot goes into career success.

Also, he is the happiest person I know. He was an only child of divorced parents who both remarried about 5 years later. he did go to a private friends school for high-school.

But I think his set-point is just high for happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I could go back in time -- not to age 7 but probably by age 9 or 10 -- I would have had more daughter evaluated for ADHD and LDs. We waited to do this until high school and it made the whole process so much more difficult. I wish I'd followed my gut and gotten her tested much earlier. Maybe this would have saved us and her so frustration and heartache, I don't know?

This. Plus fewer activities and go back earlier and get her to eat a wider variety of fruits. Btw, almost everyone I know in California is obsessed with having their children specialize from an early age.

[Anonymous]

I gave my kids lots of love which I am proud of but made things too easy and too fun..I would have been stricter. Not as much playtime, would have introduced them to a few select activities and made sure they stuck with them, not quite every time things did not go quite right.

Thankfully my kids ended up great, two in great colleges, one about to go through the process. But they had it easy, very easy. And I have learned that kids for the most part do much better when they have had to work for things.

[Anonymous]

to each his own. At 55 I dont need to sleep in a bed with another person. I personally and call me a prude think its odd and inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these admissions threads already have me feeling nauseous. If you were me, with a highly-distracted 7 year old who is going to be a challenge to get to focus on either sports or a musical instrument, and you could go back in time and do something differently (or the same, if it worked out well) -- what would you do over or do differently?

Move to a region of the country, like southern California, where your children can be outdoors all year, where there are people from many backgrounds and walks of life, where the people do all sorts of different things, and where everyone is generally happier, and certainly less intense.

I think LA is just as much of a rat race re HS/college admissions as Metro DC is at this point. Endless resume building and schlepping kids to lessons and academic pressure. My sibs still live in CA and their kids are confronting the same issues and attitudes there that mine are here.

I had one child go through high school in L.A. and another in DC, and have spent considerable time raising my children in both places. No comparison, the west coast is a much more relaxed, open, outdoors, less stressful, less scheduled, more independent, diverse and adventurous place to raise children. I wish we could have stayed there throughout our DCs' entire childhood years.

LA is not more "diverse" than the Washington DC greater metro area. They're both ridiculously and wonderfully diverse in every definition of that word.

Having lived for long periods of time in both places, I can unequivocally say that yes, L.A. is much more diverse in every way than Washington. DC is lovely, but it feels like a small, socioeconomically segregated city compared to L.A. It's just a healthier place to raise children out there.

Funny, having lived both places, we reached a totally different conclusion. Both dh and I loved LA, but ultimately came back east to raise our kids because felt many aspects of the culture there too superficial, i.e. focus on physical appearance and weight starting at very young age, "Hollywood" lifestyle difficult too avoid in the private schools, and pretty crummy public schools. Add in the ridiculous cost of housing in a desirable area. We still hope to go back some day, but not until after kids are grown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:to each his own. At 55 I dont need to sleep in a bed with another person. I personally and call me a prude think its odd and inappropriate.

???? WTH are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these admissions threads already have me feeling nauseous. If you were me, with a highly-distracted 7 year old who is going to be a challenge to get to focus on either sports or a musical instrument, and you could go back in time and do something differently (or the same, if it worked out well) -- what would you do over or do differently?

Move to a region of the country, like southern California, where your children can be outdoors all year, where there are people from many backgrounds and walks of life, where the people do all sorts of different things, and where everyone is generally happier, and certainly less intense.

I think LA is just as much of a rat race re HS/college admissions as Metro DC is at this point. Endless resume building and schlepping kids to lessons and academic pressure. My sibs still live in CA and their kids are confronting the same issues and attitudes there that mine are here.

I had one child go through high school in L.A. and another in DC, and have spent considerable time raising my children in both places. No comparison, the west coast is a much more relaxed, open, outdoors, less stressful, less scheduled, more independent, diverse and adventurous place to raise children. I wish we could have stayed there throughout our DCs' entire childhood years.

LA is not more "diverse" than the Washington DC greater metro area. They're both ridiculously and wonderfully diverse in every definition of that word.

Having lived for long periods of time in both places, I can unequivocally say that yes, L.A. is much more diverse in every way than Washington. DC is lovely, but it feels like a small, socioeconomically segregated city compared to L.A. It's just a healthier place to raise children out there.

Funny, having lived both places, we reached a totally different conclusion. Both dh and I loved LA, but ultimately came back east to raise our kids because felt many aspects of the culture there too superficial, i.e. focus on physical appearance and weight starting at very young age, "Hollywood" lifestyle difficult too avoid in the private schools, and pretty crummy public schools. Add in the ridiculous cost of housing in a desirable area. We still hope to go back some day, but not until after kids are grown.

My guess is that, in both Metro areas, it depends on where you live. And each encompasses a pretty broad/diverse region.