Asked to bring food to a party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah it's tacky, but maybe the people throwing the party are lower income. Just bring wine, beer, chips and salsa or pita and hummus.

Speechless.

Me too. Everyone knows poor people don't eat hummus Try ramen, or spaghettios, or anything highly processed. If you bring wine make sure it's in a box so you don't seem too pretentious.

[Anonymous]

Yes, bring something.

[Anonymous]

How is this a big deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, maybe it's just me, but I find this really weird and bordering on rude. We have been invited to a surprise birthday party for my MIL. We are not involved in the planning nor did we know that it was being given until we got an e-vite. We are now being asked to bring food. FWIW we have a 3 month old and are, you know, kind of exhausted. Am I being unreasonable? Even bitchy?

Order something from Costco, or volunteer to bring the cake. Anything that you can call and order over the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't seem strange to me to ask for help with food for the party. Like PPs said, just grab something at the store on the way there. Unless they asked for your special, takes a whole day to make, signature dish, I wouldn't sweat it.

On the other hand, my husband's family decided to throw my MIL a surprise birthday party and to have it at my house, without bothering to ask either my husband or me. They already made reservations at hotels and had planned everything before bothering to inform us that we would be hosting. I definitely asked them to bring food for that one being that I had not planned on hosting 20 people in my pretty small house. The family also specifically requested I make a cake myself, one that is particularly difficult. I probably would have made it myself anyway but after having hosting duties foisted on me, along with getting enough silverware, plates, drinks, appetizers, napkins, etc., etc., it was kind of annoying to have more piled on (and the request was made the day before the party). In the end, it was a nice time and MIL had fun. I never told her about the circumstances of the party and never will - don't want to diminish her memories of the party as just all fun.

Kudos to you for being so gracious about it. This sounds like a scheme my husband's family would concoct. I always try to be accommodating, as I know they are well meaning, and don't ask things of us that they would've do for us, but it can be very trying sometimes!

[Anonymous]

And seriously, your child is 3 mos. old. I'm sure the post-partum pains have died down. Have you made no food in all that time? Stop with the primadonna whining and make a pasta salad for the love of God!

[Anonymous]

You can't stop and pick up a cake or a fruit tray? For your family? Wow.

[Anonymous]

It is from people who don't know how to host. You should ask nothing of your guests except their company.

[Anonymous]

When finding out about a family party (especially a surprise one), my immediate response is "what can I bring". Even when DD was 12 weeks I was making about 6 dozen little tea sugar cookies for the in-laws 50th anniversary party. But I love to cook/bake and DD loves the carrier, so it wasn't an issue (minus the small drip of frosting that ended up on her forehead

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is from people who don't know how to host. You should ask nothing of your guests except their company.

1954 called, they want their etiquette book back. And this is her family, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, maybe it's just me, but I find this really weird and bordering on rude. We have been invited to a surprise birthday party for my MIL. We are not involved in the planning nor did we know that it was being given until we got an e-vite. We are now being asked to bring food. FWIW we have a 3 month old and are, you know, kind of exhausted. Am I being unreasonable? Even bitchy?

Is this a potluck, where everyone is supposed to bring something? If so, I agree with other posters, just buy and bring something easy. But, if someone organizing this suddenly dumped on you the task of feeding the whole party, yes, I'd find that weird and rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is from people who don't know how to host. You should ask nothing of your guests except their company.

As a general rule, I agree. But there are always exceptions.

[Anonymous]

I think if OP was involved in the planning before (choosing the date, location, having a say in the invite list) then yes, it's reasonable to ask for help with food. Because then she is also a HOST of this party.

If the host of the party just didn't want to supply all the food, then it's rude. No way around it. Doesn't matter who the party is for.

[Anonymous]

To me, it's totally fine to throw a party and call it potluck because it can be exhausting. Alot of time, the host is providing the space. This saves the host from another time and money. If you don't bring something, they are not going to hold it against you UNLESS you are bringing alot of people-like if you are bringing 4 kids.

I usually make or buy something that the guest of honor likes. Or if you yourself have a food restrictions, bring something you like.

The host is not suppose to have ALL the guests bring food and she provides nothing-that is improper etiquette. People who bring food are suppose to supplement the other main food.

[Anonymous]

Pick up a shrimp platter or a cake from costco. I wouldn't mind bringing something to a family function as long as everyone realizes that it's coming from a store as I can't cook to save my life.