Asked to bring food to a party

[Anonymous]

It's only your husband's mother. That's barely family! What's next, they'll ask you to bring a dish for your gardener's birthday party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like an exhausted new mother. And that is ok. This is an otherwise very normal acceptable request. Buy something simple as may have suggested above. Go, relax.

+1 You're allowed to be bitchy... just keep it to yourself. Being a new Mom is tough and tiring and small things like this get to you easier because you are spent. Don't go if you don't feel like it. Tell DH to go and stop by the store and grab something on the way. No big deal.

+1

[Anonymous]

Just pick up some cookies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah it's tacky, but maybe the people throwing the party are lower income. Just bring wine, beer, chips and salsa or pita and hummus.

Speechless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, maybe it's just me, but I find this really weird and bordering on rude. We have been invited to a surprise birthday party for my MIL. We are not involved in the planning nor did we know that it was being given until we got an e-vite. We are now being asked to bring food. FWIW we have a 3 month old and are, you know, kind of exhausted. Am I being unreasonable? Even bitchy?

Really? Being asked to bring food to a party for your husband's mother is offensive to you?

You are being unreasonable and bitchy. If you don't want to make something pick up a deli tray and a nice dessert.

Also... you must be really fun at parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's only your husband's mother. That's barely family! What's next, they'll ask you to bring a dish for your gardener's birthday party?

I'm dying

I mean that BBQ for your great uncles goldfish isn't going to plan itself.

[Anonymous]

Are you American, OP?
In my country, we are not asked to bring something to a party. But after living here for years, I now understand this is very common here.
So... buy something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you American, OP?
In my country, we are not asked to bring something to a party. But after living here for years, I now understand this is very common here.
So... buy something.

We 'muricans like our potlucks.

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is rude at all - quite the opposite - it's an "intimate" move of the inner family circle.

In my family, asking someone if they could bring something is saying "you're family and you're close enough to ask to contribute something." It's a move to bring you in closer.

It's like saying "hey Larla, would you mind chopping the tomatoes?" You'd ask that of someone who's family or someone closer in your group, and less for someone who's a total stranger. It's an extension of closeness or bringing someone in.

[Anonymous]

I would also insist on bringing something. Not a crazy request at all.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't seem strange to me to ask for help with food for the party. Like PPs said, just grab something at the store on the way there. Unless they asked for your special, takes a whole day to make, signature dish, I wouldn't sweat it.

On the other hand, my husband's family decided to throw my MIL a surprise birthday party and to have it at my house, without bothering to ask either my husband or me. They already made reservations at hotels and had planned everything before bothering to inform us that we would be hosting. I definitely asked them to bring food for that one being that I had not planned on hosting 20 people in my pretty small house. The family also specifically requested I make a cake myself, one that is particularly difficult. I probably would have made it myself anyway but after having hosting duties foisted on me, along with getting enough silverware, plates, drinks, appetizers, napkins, etc., etc., it was kind of annoying to have more piled on (and the request was made the day before the party). In the end, it was a nice time and MIL had fun. I never told her about the circumstances of the party and never will - don't want to diminish her memories of the party as just all fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were told this week to bring "4 bottles of red wine" to a dinner. Not asked, told. Some people just don't have a great way of going about these things. Normally I would bring 1 bottle or a homemade dessert, depending on time and money and what I felt like doing at that point in time.

If you are that against doing it, speak with the host and offer an alternative, or keep your contribution very simple.

Four bottles of wine?? Good god! What kind of party? How many people will be there? That's a pretty expensive assignment. Are you close to the host? Are other guests being assigned "chips and dip" or "a salad," both of which are inexpensive??! Tell us more. I hope you bring Two-Buck Chuck!

Or a box of wine - 4 in 1!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't seem strange to me to ask for help with food for the party. Like PPs said, just grab something at the store on the way there. Unless they asked for your special, takes a whole day to make, signature dish, I wouldn't sweat it.

On the other hand, my husband's family decided to throw my MIL a surprise birthday party and to have it at my house, without bothering to ask either my husband or me. They already made reservations at hotels and had planned everything before bothering to inform us that we would be hosting. I definitely asked them to bring food for that one being that I had not planned on hosting 20 people in my pretty small house. The family also specifically requested I make a cake myself, one that is particularly difficult. I probably would have made it myself anyway but after having hosting duties foisted on me, along with getting enough silverware, plates, drinks, appetizers, napkins, etc., etc., it was kind of annoying to have more piled on (and the request was made the day before the party). In the end, it was a nice time and MIL had fun. I never told her about the circumstances of the party and never will - don't want to diminish her memories of the party as just all fun.

Omg that is crazy. Do you have a particularly large home?

[Anonymous]

I'd be annoyed. If the invite didn't say "potluck" then the hosts should have taken care of food. You aren't on the invite as a host are you?

Now if you'd offered, then it's fine. But I don't think giving out tasks like this is polite. Even to family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't seem strange to me to ask for help with food for the party. Like PPs said, just grab something at the store on the way there. Unless they asked for your special, takes a whole day to make, signature dish, I wouldn't sweat it.

On the other hand, my husband's family decided to throw my MIL a surprise birthday party and to have it at my house, without bothering to ask either my husband or me. They already made reservations at hotels and had planned everything before bothering to inform us that we would be hosting. I definitely asked them to bring food for that one being that I had not planned on hosting 20 people in my pretty small house. The family also specifically requested I make a cake myself, one that is particularly difficult. I probably would have made it myself anyway but after having hosting duties foisted on me, along with getting enough silverware, plates, drinks, appetizers, napkins, etc., etc., it was kind of annoying to have more piled on (and the request was made the day before the party). In the end, it was a nice time and MIL had fun. I never told her about the circumstances of the party and never will - don't want to diminish her memories of the party as just all fun.

Omg that is crazy. Do you have a particularly large home?

PP here. No, my house is not big (it's around 1700 square feet, so it's tight). They picked it because DC is kind of in the middle of where all of the far-flung relatives live. It just would have been nice to be involved in the conversation - perhaps we could have held it at a restaurant or something nicer than my little house.