Eloping?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is tacky to have a reception if you elope. My brother (and his now EX wife) did that.
I didn't even know he was seriously dating someone, then I get an email with the title "Mr. and Mrs. Lastname" and a pic of them getting married in Reno!

About 6 months later they had a big reception. They live on the west coast so I was not about to spend tons of money and time going there for it. Sorry, if I'm not important enough to you to witness your marriage, why am I supposed to help you celebrate months later?

I think it's very selfish (to elope and then later hold the celebration.)

Agree. Gift grabs are always tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is tacky to have a reception if you elope. My brother (and his now EX wife) did that.
I didn't even know he was seriously dating someone, then I get an email with the title "Mr. and Mrs. Lastname" and a pic of them getting married in Reno!

About 6 months later they had a big reception. They live on the west coast so I was not about to spend tons of money and time going there for it. Sorry, if I'm not important enough to you to witness your marriage, why am I supposed to help you celebrate months later?

I think it's very selfish (to elope and then later hold the celebration.)

I think throwing yourself a party is a fine thing. Geeeeeeez. Your stuff isn't their stuff. Do you always feel you need to be "important enough" to witness somebodies wedding to be happy for them? Some people are private and want certain moments private. Or they have family drama they want to avoid. Or the cost. Or the timing. Or a dying parent. Or the sky is so blue and Elvis is so awesome they had to go to Vegas to get married. Sometimes it is OK to be selfish. And this didn't hurt anybody.

Whatever the reason, their ceremony. And the only two people who actually matter are the people getting married for that. The party -- lighten up! It's OK you didn't go, I don't think you are a true friend anyway.

[Anonymous]

We 'eloped' in that we had a ceremony in a small church with two friends as witnesses. We also did pre marital counseling with the church. Not overly religious but it felt more peaceful than city hall and the counseling was actually useful. (Both of us first marriage, early 30's)

It Turned out well for us. Told his parents next day, they just wanted to make sure my family wasn't there so they didn't feel excluded. (True for most people we told: "why wasn't I invited? Oh, no one was invited, ok then") My parents were thrilled.

We saved so much money! Some friends still rib us that we robbed them of a party, but they wouldn't have been happy hanging with mostly strangers, eating catered food at some generic venue. And the vow part for us felt like it needed intimacy, not an audience.

It was right for us in that we are very low drama, and I think we dodged some bullets regarding family clashes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone I know who eloped ended up divorced.

Eloping or not eloping, 50 percent of couples end up divorced.

No they don't, this has been debunked ... ad nauseam.

Maybe. I never paid attention.

But it would appear that 75% should get divorced or should never have married to begin with.

[Anonymous]

From 2014: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/02/upshot/the-divorce-surge-is-over-but-the-myth-lives-on.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&bicmp=AD&bicmlukp=WT.mc_id&bicmst=1409232722000&bicmet=1419773522000&_r=3&abt=0002&abg=0

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is tacky to have a reception if you elope. My brother (and his now EX wife) did that.
I didn't even know he was seriously dating someone, then I get an email with the title "Mr. and Mrs. Lastname" and a pic of them getting married in Reno!

About 6 months later they had a big reception. They live on the west coast so I was not about to spend tons of money and time going there for it. Sorry, if I'm not important enough to you to witness your marriage, why am I supposed to help you celebrate months later?

I think it's very selfish (to elope and then later hold the celebration.)

Agree. Gift grabs are always tacky.

We had a No Gifts reception about a month after we got married in Hawaii jus the two of us. Second wedding for both and our families made our first weddings hell on earth. We wanted to avoid drama and make it about our love not family BS drama.