Dog destroying marriage

[Anonymous]

She's small enough to carry. It is simply not feasible for me to take her down multipls times per day. I'm not hauling two kids plus dog down a flight of stairs that many times. Nor am I going to sacrifice what little free time I have to do that. Between childcare, I take care of the home (laundry, clean bathrooms, vacuum, mail, bills, make beds, etc). In the lite downtime I have I take care of myself (shower, eat). I also run a small and lucrative consulting business part time. The dog likes the balcony. It's big and airy and she's happy sniffing around out there. I pick up the poo daily and change the per pads every few days. I'm not going to feel bad about not adding more to my plate. I don't just sit around all day. I think my DH should just keep the status quo. We can have a gross balcony and a happy mom or a clean balcony and a miserable mom. I think I am more important than the balcony.

[Anonymous]

OP, we're all busy. You need to take care of your dog, take her outside, or acknowledge that her time has come.

You also need to change the pee pads daily, if not more often!

If I were your DH, I'd be disgusted and angry as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's small enough to carry. It is simply not feasible for me to take her down multipls times per day. I'm not hauling two kids plus dog down a flight of stairs that many times. Nor am I going to sacrifice what little free time I have to do that. Between childcare, I take care of the home (laundry, clean bathrooms, vacuum, mail, bills, make beds, etc). In the lite downtime I have I take care of myself (shower, eat). I also run a small and lucrative consulting business part time. The dog likes the balcony. It's big and airy and she's happy sniffing around out there. I pick up the poo daily and change the per pads every few days. I'm not going to feel bad about not adding more to my plate. I don't just sit around all day. I think my DH should just keep the status quo. We can have a gross balcony and a happy mom or a clean balcony and a miserable mom. I think I am more important than the balcony.

I don't think that sounds bad at all. I thought from your original post you didn't like the balcony being gross. Life is short, use the pee pads on the balcony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's small enough to carry. It is simply not feasible for me to take her down multipls times per day. I'm not hauling two kids plus dog down a flight of stairs that many times. Nor am I going to sacrifice what little free time I have to do that. Between childcare, I take care of the home (laundry, clean bathrooms, vacuum, mail, bills, make beds, etc). In the lite downtime I have I take care of myself (shower, eat). I also run a small and lucrative consulting business part time. The dog likes the balcony. It's big and airy and she's happy sniffing around out there. I pick up the poo daily and change the per pads every few days. I'm not going to feel bad about not adding more to my plate. I don't just sit around all day. I think my DH should just keep the status quo. We can have a gross balcony and a happy mom or a clean balcony and a miserable mom. I think I am more important than the balcony.

Change the pads every day so that they don't get gross. Beyond that I can absolutely see how difficult this is for you and I'm not sure what else you can do. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised that your dh isn't more bonded with this 16 year old dog. I think that's what's throwing me. Isn't it his dog too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's small enough to carry. It is simply not feasible for me to take her down multipls times per day. I'm not hauling two kids plus dog down a flight of stairs that many times. Nor am I going to sacrifice what little free time I have to do that. Between childcare, I take care of the home (laundry, clean bathrooms, vacuum, mail, bills, make beds, etc). In the lite downtime I have I take care of myself (shower, eat). I also run a small and lucrative consulting business part time. The dog likes the balcony. It's big and airy and she's happy sniffing around out there. I pick up the poo daily and change the per pads every few days. I'm not going to feel bad about not adding more to my plate. I don't just sit around all day. I think my DH should just keep the status quo. We can have a gross balcony and a happy mom or a clean balcony and a miserable mom. I think I am more important than the balcony.

OP, if you were adopting a dog now and told people that you don't have time to take the dog outside multiple times a day and instead will confine her to a balcony while you care for your children, manage your home and run a consulting business, most people would tell you that you do not have a place in your life for a dog. Most people would tell you, do not adopt this dog.

It sounds like you are justifying what is not a good situation for the dog by saying "She likes it out there" and "I pick up the poo once a day" but the point is not that you are more important than the balcony. The point is that you made a commitment to the dog, and part of that is taking her on walks so that she can do her business outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised that your dh isn't more bonded with this 16 year old dog. I think that's what's throwing me. Isn't it his dog too?

OP said the dog is peeing all over the house. That may indicate to her DH that the time has come. Being bonded with and loving w dog doesn't mean you can't be realistic.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but that is bs. How many of you walk your dog eight times per day? She gets walked twice, when DH gets home and before he leaves. The dog has had a long life and priorities change. I'm not a single woman with no other commitmentS anymore. She gets good care and lots of love and I am absolutely entitled to put my well being above the dog. I take care of the whole family, I have needs too.

[Anonymous]

16 is old for a dog, I would consider putting him down.

[Anonymous]

That post was directed at pp 14.17. To pp 14.27 I am not adverse to putting her down but everyone says you know when the time is right. I'm not sure I feel the time is right-I just don't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The vet says she's not incontinent bc then she would just walk around and dribble. She knows she is going just needs to go a lot or she ends up going in the house. She's upstairs because that's our living level. Downstairs is just a foyer. She likes to be near us so I think keeping her downstairs would be cruel. The yard is just a tiny grass patch in the front of the house. It's our front lawn basically.

I guess OP wrote that post. I wrote the post about OP complaining that the dog went 8 times a day and I find it unreasonable to expect any dog or human to go less than that per day. I wonder if DH is disgusted with the OP because she refuses to take what seems to be a little dog out to pee. Perhaps this wasn't an issue and they moved to this place.

I think OP just doesn't wan to care for a dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That post was directed at pp 14.17. To pp 14.27 I am not adverse to putting her down but everyone says you know when the time is right. I'm not sure I feel the time is right-I just don't know.

There is never a right time but if one of you is fed up w/ the dog you give it away or put it down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry but that is bs. How many of you walk your dog eight times per day? She gets walked twice, when DH gets home and before he leaves. The dog has had a long life and priorities change. I'm not a single woman with no other commitmentS anymore. She gets good care and lots of love and I am absolutely entitled to put my well being above the dog. I take care of the whole family, I have needs too.

Hah-I was correct. We never had a dog that was not allowed out to pee less than that. That is a living creature and old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The vet says she's not incontinent bc then she would just walk around and dribble. She knows she is going just needs to go a lot or she ends up going in the house. She's upstairs because that's our living level. Downstairs is just a foyer. She likes to be near us so I think keeping her downstairs would be cruel. The yard is just a tiny grass patch in the front of the house. It's our front lawn basically.

I guess OP wrote that post. I wrote the post about OP complaining that the dog went 8 times a day and I find it unreasonable to expect any dog or human to go less than that per day. I wonder if DH is disgusted with the OP because she refuses to take what seems to be a little dog out to pee. Perhaps this wasn't an issue and they moved to this place.

I think OP just doesn't wan to care for a dog.

Her whole life she's gone out three times per day. Once in the morning. Once when we got home from work. Once before bed. Dogs all across the country live like this. When she started having accidents I hired a dog walker for the afternoons. What normal dog goes 8x per day? Do you pee 8x per day? You might need to see a doctor too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The vet says she's not incontinent bc then she would just walk around and dribble. She knows she is going just needs to go a lot or she ends up going in the house. She's upstairs because that's our living level. Downstairs is just a foyer. She likes to be near us so I think keeping her downstairs would be cruel. The yard is just a tiny grass patch in the front of the house. It's our front lawn basically.

I guess OP wrote that post. I wrote the post about OP complaining that the dog went 8 times a day and I find it unreasonable to expect any dog or human to go less than that per day. I wonder if DH is disgusted with the OP because she refuses to take what seems to be a little dog out to pee. Perhaps this wasn't an issue and they moved to this place.

I think OP just doesn't wan to care for a dog.

Her whole life she's gone out three times per day. Once in the morning. Once when we got home from work. Once before bed. Dogs all across the country live like this. When she started having accidents I hired a dog walker for the afternoons. What normal dog goes 8x per day? Do you pee 8x per day? You might need to see a doctor too!

Human here. I definitely pee 8x a day. I've already gone 4x. I'm sure I'll go 2 more times before leaving work and then 2x at home.