How to deal with mean kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an elementary music teacher. I had a girl who was really talented, but was constantly talking. After weeks of this, I overheard her standing up to someone making fun of her. I heard what he said (it was an insult about her appearance). I began a discussion with the class about kindness, etc. and kids made me realize this girl had really been being bullied. After some discussion, I told them that if I ever heard any of that kind of talk in my room, or heard of it happening elsewhere, there would be consequences. For the rest of the year, I made sure to build her up when I had a chance. She was overweight, and was not always dressed appropriately, which I think was how it started. I let her teacher and counselor know as well. She came to me the next class and thanked me for standing up for her. It was hard not to cry.

Most of the teachers I know really would want to help if they were aware. Sometimes kids are afraid to tell.

This is really wonderful. You might have made a difference for her that will stay with her for the rest of her life. I remember that once or twice teachers played a role in my life that way, and I never forgot them. They were just brief moments, but I can still see their faces and I remember what they did - they had such an impact on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find out who that mean kid is and confront him. Tell him if he's gonna pick on your kid ever again, you're gonna beat his crap out.

i read similar but slightly different case. A parent of a kid who was getting bullied gave the kid a baseball bat one day and told him to address the bully and the parent vouched to take the consequences. All the bullying stopped after that day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an elementary music teacher. I had a girl who was really talented, but was constantly talking. After weeks of this, I overheard her standing up to someone making fun of her. I heard what he said (it was an insult about her appearance). I began a discussion with the class about kindness, etc. and kids made me realize this girl had really been being bullied. After some discussion, I told them that if I ever heard any of that kind of talk in my room, or heard of it happening elsewhere, there would be consequences. For the rest of the year, I made sure to build her up when I had a chance. She was overweight, and was not always dressed appropriately, which I think was how it started. I let her teacher and counselor know as well. She came to me the next class and thanked me for standing up for her. It was hard not to cry.

Most of the teachers I know really would want to help if they were aware. Sometimes kids are afraid to tell.

I love this. Thank you so much for standing up for that girl!

[Anonymous]

This is what I did after trying to get my kid to handle it on their own and myself working with the teacher, IMO, for way to long. GO TO THE PRINCIPLE! Use these words...This bullying from ______, _____, and _____ against my child must stop and you are responsible to intervene. Use the word bully and name names don't make light of it. Start with a well drafted to the point email with details then follow up with a meeting with the principle, with both parents present (this is important)!

OP, I am sorry for your child. My child experienced this from 3-6th grade. In 5th I said enough is enough and proceeded with the above. It didn't completely stop but it did get much better. The problem is the bullying kids parents are often in denial, make excuses, or just don't enforce consequences for their bully children at home which is probably the reason they are bully's in the first place. Just be strong, direct and remember it is YOUR job to protect your child. It does get much better when the kids move on to bigger schools. They realize they are just a small fish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find out who that mean kid is and confront him. Tell him if he's gonna pick on your kid ever again, you're gonna beat his crap out.

i read similar but slightly different case. A parent of a kid who was getting bullied gave the kid a baseball bat one day and told him to address the bully and the parent vouched to take the consequences. All the bullying stopped after that day

Yes this would absolutely work to if you want to go that route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what I did after trying to get my kid to handle it on their own and myself working with the teacher, IMO, for way to long. GO TO THE PRINCIPLE! Use these words...This bullying from ______, _____, and _____ against my child must stop and you are responsible to intervene. Use the word bully and name names don't make light of it. Start with a well drafted to the point email with details then follow up with a meeting with the principle, with both parents present (this is important)!

OP, I am sorry for your child. My child experienced this from 3-6th grade. In 5th I said enough is enough and proceeded with the above. It didn't completely stop but it did get much better. The problem is the bullying kids parents are often in denial, make excuses, or just don't enforce consequences for their bully children at home which is probably the reason they are bully's in the first place. Just be strong, direct and remember it is YOUR job to protect your child. It does get much better when the kids move on to bigger schools. They realize they are just a small fish.

I am the poster of above. When I went to the teachers, in their defense, they did the best they could to stop the bully's. I also worked with the counselor. Their efforts did help but it just wasn't enough. So work closely with your teachers they do need to know. I believe it helps to understand the seriousness of the situation when the parent steps in. When I decided enough is enough the bullying had progressed to the next step, physical. My DC put up with all of the snickering, mocking, etc... for years. These kids even gossiped to other kids that my DC was a weirdo and it got back to DC. Hang in there I know it is tough!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find out who that mean kid is and confront him. Tell him if he's gonna pick on your kid ever again, you're gonna beat his crap out.

i read similar but slightly different case. A parent of a kid who was getting bullied gave the kid a baseball bat one day and told him to address the bully and the parent vouched to take the consequences. All the bullying stopped after that day

Yes this would absolutely work to if you want to go that route.

No, it wouldn't. I mean, if the kid actually USED the baseball bat, it would be felonious assault. Simply threatening with it would be ineffective.

Much better to teach your kid to pop the bully in the nose or kick his knee out sideways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what I did after trying to get my kid to handle it on their own and myself working with the teacher, IMO, for way to long. GO TO THE PRINCIPLE! Use these words...This bullying from ______, _____, and _____ against my child must stop and you are responsible to intervene. Use the word bully and name names don't make light of it. Start with a well drafted to the point email with details then follow up with a meeting with the principle, with both parents present (this is important)!

OP, I am sorry for your child. My child experienced this from 3-6th grade. In 5th I said enough is enough and proceeded with the above. It didn't completely stop but it did get much better. The problem is the bullying kids parents are often in denial, make excuses, or just don't enforce consequences for their bully children at home which is probably the reason they are bully's in the first place. Just be strong, direct and remember it is YOUR job to protect your child. It does get much better when the kids move on to bigger schools. They realize they are just a small fish.

I like this idea. Put it back on the Principal.

[Anonymous]

OP - I would talk to the teacher and the counselor at school. The counselor at myDD's school is great because she role plays with her and other kids on how to respond.

To the music teacher above - I was bullied in the 5th grade by a group of 3 girls. My music teacher saw it happening and intervened. The girls were kicking me, pulling my hair and whispering bad things to me while in class. This sort of thing had gone on all year but noone did anything. Anyway, my music teacher intervened and the bullying stopped from that moment forward. This was 30 years ago and I think (and thank her) of her to this day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The one thing I should have done is personally contacted the mean kid's parents.

OP, PP means well, but I really wouldn't do this. Some adults are bullies, too.

Exactly. The kids have to learn it somewhere.