is it embarrassing for a man to call out of work to care for his kids?

[Anonymous]

No. I have male fed co-workers who call out for their kids when they are sick, due to the weather, etc. I don't see the big deal. It would actually make me think pretty highly of him as a family man.

[Anonymous]

People should have emergency child care back up plans. If he is at a job where he is expected to be at work despite the weather and has now cancelled twice in two weeks due to bad weather/child care issues, I would consider him an unreliable employee and my evaluations would reflect that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my company there are male VPs who worked from home some snow days to care for their kids. What's the big deal?

You can't care for your kids when you work from home. Those are mutually exclusive concepts. You're either working for your paid employer or you're caring for the kids. You can't do both at the same time. Unless, maybe, they're like 12 and you are just there to break it up when bickering escalates into knife fights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
At my company there are male VPs who worked from home some snow days to care for their kids. What's the big deal?


You can't care for your kids when you work from home. Those are mutually exclusive concepts. You're either working for your paid employer or you're caring for the kids. You can't do both at the same time. Unless, maybe, they're like 12 and you are just there to break it up when bickering escalates into knife fights.

The high up you go the less people are going to say anything. So if the VP stays home to care for the kids who is going to question him? Now if you are a low level employee with a new boss...you have problems.
OP you should find some other back up plan till work settles out with the new boss or your husband's career will suffer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People should have emergency child care back up plans. If he is at a job where he is expected to be at work despite the weather and has now cancelled twice in two weeks due to bad weather/child care issues, I would consider him an unreliable employee and my evaluations would reflect that.

It's bosses like you that force OPM to have to explicitly state that people may take unscheduled leave. Your leave is there for you to take, and especially in government, the work will be there the next day. You write this kind of thing up on an evaluation, you will likely get counseled. I am so happy to work for an agency that has a reasonable culture.

What exactly do you do that's so GD important, or do you just enjoy counting beans?

[Anonymous]

I think your husband needs to get over it. He has kids, and a wife whose job is more essential than his. Therefore, he takes time off when the kids need someone at home.

File this under suck it up and do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH finds it awkward to call in sick for work. I've had several co-workers who have their wives/mothers call them in sick.

Wait, people actually still make a phone call when they won't be at work? E-mail is SO much easier and avoids the embarrassment of having your wife or MOTHER call in for you. Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH finds it awkward to call in sick for work. I've had several co-workers who have their wives/mothers call them in sick.

Wait, people actually still make a phone call when they won't be at work? E-mail is SO much easier and avoids the embarrassment of having your wife or MOTHER call in for you. Good grief.

We have a phone-in rule, especially on days when many people will be out. Keep,calling until you get a human - don't leave voice mail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - it wasn't an issue with the prior boss. I'm guessing the new one is giving off negative vibes - he can't put his finger on it exactly.
I am not fed. I am a critical care physician.

I assume he did this and you are working today. How did the call go? Did he have reason to be anxious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - it wasn't an issue with the prior boss. I'm guessing the new one is giving off negative vibes - he can't put his finger on it exactly.
I am not fed. I am a critical care physician.

I assume he did this and you are working today. How did the call go? Did he have reason to be anxious?

With fed closed, it was a non issue. Thankfully. We actually had 3 back up nannies and grandparents in the area and none if them could make it in today's storm.

[Anonymous]

I've done it lots of times; never occurred to me to be embarrassed. A lot of my co-workers do as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People should have emergency child care back up plans. If he is at a job where he is expected to be at work despite the weather and has now cancelled twice in two weeks due to bad weather/child care issues, I would consider him an unreliable employee and my evaluations would reflect that.

It's bosses like you that force OPM to have to explicitly state that people may take unscheduled leave. Your leave is there for you to take, and especially in government, the work will be there the next day. You write this kind of thing up on an evaluation, you will likely get counseled. I am so happy to work for an agency that has a reasonable culture.

What exactly do you do that's so GD important, or do you just enjoy counting beans?

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

i am essential personnel and my husband is a fed. his boss is a single woman without children.

my DH feels uncomfortable/embarrased about calling out of work when he has to cover my essential shifts - like tomorrow.

his prior boss was a woman with a child and he felt much more relaxed when he had to take off for something like this

it is very rare that he has to cover me, b/c i can usually switch a shift when we see problems like this arising, but tomorrow will make the second occurrence of him calling out due to childcare issues in under 2 weeks.

He needs to man up and not be a puss about this

[Anonymous]

I actually think it is unfair to place all the blame on DH. When am employee, male or female, works for a boss who is not understanding of family relations it really creates a lot of stress. I worked in a toxic environment like this once and I literally felt uncomfortable ever taking an unscheduled day off. She would make it very clear that she was unhappy on the rare occasions someone working under her ever did this.

Unless you have had a boss like this then it is difficult to understand the enormous pressure you are under. Her DH is not being a "puss," he probably reasonably discerns that his new boss's attitudes towards unscheduled time off are very different from what he is accustomed to. He probably does not want to have a negative performance review.

[Anonymous]

It's totally insane. It's not like he's the only man in the world with children. My husband and I switch off, or if someone has something big going on, we make due. We are both the parents of these children, its up to us both.