husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute

[Anonymous]

I'm on OP's side. It's a dumb decision to choose that commute just to get out of a job your DH doesn't like.

[Anonymous]

Interesting - you have focused on the money and the time. All that aside, is the new job better for his long term career? You said that he topped out where he is. If the newer job has the potential for more upward mobility (and more $) down the line, it may be worth a look. But I will tell you, having spouse who is miserable at work and is only there at your urging is NOT a good dynamic for your marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm on OP's side. It's a dumb decision to choose that commute just to get out of a job your DH doesn't like.

That may be true, but it is equally as dumb to expect him to stay at a job that is making him miserable just because the OP wants to keep the status quo. TBH, I think her DH is saying that he wants a new job but also a change of scenery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Towson/owings mills is very nice. Good schools, housing is cheaper, great sense of community. But it is not a commute.

I'd suggest, for the first six months, him renting a place up there mon night through thur night. After six months, if the job is secure, move your family up there and don't look back. You can get down once a week to visit your mom easily. I live in NOVA and my folks live in Baltimore, its easy.

This, right here.

[Anonymous]

Practically, you are right. It's not a move I would want my husband to make either. However, you just have to be supportive of him. If he is miserable in his job and will resent you for not taking the new job... you are going to really put your marriage on a downhill track. Let him take it and be supportive and put on a smile. I've had to do something similar. The first 3-4 months were hard, but in the end I was glad I supported his decision and it worked out for the best.