My husband's drinking worries me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:North Americans are VERY uptight about alcohol. Not speaking about OPs husband, who does sound like he might have an issue, but to those saying three glasses of wine makes someone a functional alcoholic - you're just straight-up wrong. Most of Europe and South America has 3 drinks/day, women included. I know a doctor who practices in Europe and the standard there before they even say you have to start to worry is more than 3 drinks.

Are you sure you're not thinking about the British measurement of "units" of alcohol? Because I've seen people discuss that before as if one unit equals one drink when in reality a unit is smaller than an individual drink and three units is significantly less than three drinks.

https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/check-the-facts/what-is-alcohol/what-is-an-alcohol-unit

The government advises that people should not regularly drink more than 3-4 units of alcohol a day for men (equivalent to a pint and a half of 4% beer) and 2-3 units for women (equivalent to a 175 ml glass of wine). 'Regularly' means drinking alcohol every day or most days of the week.

Who cares what "the government" thinks. If someone is having three glasses of wine every night and it isn't having an adverse effect on family, friends, work, or anything else, and they are happy, then why should some "agency" get to decide that you have a problem? You either have a real problem or you don't. And two glasses vs three glasses isn't the defining factor.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a heck of a guy. Grown men playing video games. Deal breaker unless he's bringing a paycheck in from it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:North Americans are VERY uptight about alcohol. Not speaking about OPs husband, who does sound like he might have an issue, but to those saying three glasses of wine makes someone a functional alcoholic - you're just straight-up wrong. Most of Europe and South America has 3 drinks/day, women included. I know a doctor who practices in Europe and the standard there before they even say you have to start to worry is more than 3 drinks.

Human beings have been rationalizing their use of alcohol for a long time. It is a drug that people use and abuse to get a buzz, get high, get drunk, get tipsy, whatever. 3 drinks a day, everyday is a lot of alcohol. Plenty of alcohol abusers outside of North America. You are rationalizing the use of alcohol by calling people in North America uptight because they recognize drinking daily is just like having Valium or any other drug daily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a heck of a guy. Grown men playing video games. Deal breaker unless he's bringing a paycheck in from it

LOL.

Playing video games to the point of neglecting your spouse would be one thing, but probably a pretty good percentage of men under the age of 50 occasionally like to play video games. I don't personally as I have other free time hobbies, but nearly every other guy in my department has an XBox or Playstation, and it's not for their kids.

You sound like someone I'm glad not to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:North Americans are VERY uptight about alcohol. Not speaking about OPs husband, who does sound like he might have an issue, but to those saying three glasses of wine makes someone a functional alcoholic - you're just straight-up wrong. Most of Europe and South America has 3 drinks/day, women included. I know a doctor who practices in Europe and the standard there before they even say you have to start to worry is more than 3 drinks.

Are you sure you're not thinking about the British measurement of "units" of alcohol? Because I've seen people discuss that before as if one unit equals one drink when in reality a unit is smaller than an individual drink and three units is significantly less than three drinks.

https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/check-the-facts/what-is-alcohol/what-is-an-alcohol-unit

The government advises that people should not regularly drink more than 3-4 units of alcohol a day for men (equivalent to a pint and a half of 4% beer) and 2-3 units for women (equivalent to a 175 ml glass of wine). 'Regularly' means drinking alcohol every day or most days of the week.

Who cares what "the government" thinks. If someone is having three glasses of wine every night and it isn't having an adverse effect on family, friends, work, or anything else, and they are happy, then why should some "agency" get to decide that you have a problem? You either have a real problem or you don't. And two glasses vs three glasses isn't the defining factor.

Sounds like my MIL and her nightly vodka. Who wants to around someone who needs to drink every day of their life. Gross. My MIL thought she was entitled also to her nightly drinks but she was a crappy parent because booze ruins families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:North Americans are VERY uptight about alcohol. Not speaking about OPs husband, who does sound like he might have an issue, but to those saying three glasses of wine makes someone a functional alcoholic - you're just straight-up wrong. Most of Europe and South America has 3 drinks/day, women included. I know a doctor who practices in Europe and the standard there before they even say you have to start to worry is more than 3 drinks.

Human beings have been rationalizing their use of alcohol for a long time. It is a drug that people use and abuse to get a buzz, get high, get drunk, get tipsy, whatever. 3 drinks a day, everyday is a lot of alcohol. Plenty of alcohol abusers outside of North America. You are rationalizing the use of alcohol by calling people in North America uptight because they recognize drinking daily is just like having Valium or any other drug daily.

So don't drink alcohol then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:North Americans are VERY uptight about alcohol. Not speaking about OPs husband, who does sound like he might have an issue, but to those saying three glasses of wine makes someone a functional alcoholic - you're just straight-up wrong. Most of Europe and South America has 3 drinks/day, women included. I know a doctor who practices in Europe and the standard there before they even say you have to start to worry is more than 3 drinks.

Are you sure you're not thinking about the British measurement of "units" of alcohol? Because I've seen people discuss that before as if one unit equals one drink when in reality a unit is smaller than an individual drink and three units is significantly less than three drinks.

https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/check-the-facts/what-is-alcohol/what-is-an-alcohol-unit

The government advises that people should not regularly drink more than 3-4 units of alcohol a day for men (equivalent to a pint and a half of 4% beer) and 2-3 units for women (equivalent to a 175 ml glass of wine). 'Regularly' means drinking alcohol every day or most days of the week.

Who cares what "the government" thinks. If someone is having three glasses of wine every night and it isn't having an adverse effect on family, friends, work, or anything else, and they are happy, then why should some "agency" get to decide that you have a problem? You either have a real problem or you don't. And two glasses vs three glasses isn't the defining factor.

Sounds like my MIL and her nightly vodka. Who wants to around someone who needs to drink every day of their life. Gross. My MIL thought she was entitled also to her nightly drinks but she was a crappy parent because booze ruins families.

Do you have difficulties with reading comprehension? I specifically said (if) "it isn't having an adverse effect on family, friends, work, or anything else, and they are happy..."

Clearly in your example that wasn't the case. As I said, the "problem" shouldn't be defined by some arbitrary number, but by whether there's actually a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have difficulties with reading comprehension? I specifically said (if) "it isn't having an adverse effect on family, friends, work, or anything else, and they are happy..."

Clearly in your example that wasn't the case. As I said, the "problem" shouldn't be defined by some arbitrary number, but by whether there's actually a problem.

I agree- a problem should not be defined by an arbitrary number. However, functional alcoholism doesn't necessarily mean its a "problem". Someone can be physically and mentally addicted to a substance, need to use it daily, and still function. But they're still an alcoholic because they're dependent on alcohol. I also am on the right end of the bell curve but for someone to say 3 drinks a day- a bottle of wine- isn't "heavy drinking" or potentially at-risk behavior is in denial, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a woman drinking 3 glasses of wine a day, you are definitely a very heavy drinker/functional alcoholic, PP.

Highly Functional Alcoholic. That's just a made up phrase for someone who drinks more than what "other people think" they should despite displaying no negative results from it. If someone can drink three glasses of wine a day while having a good job and a happy family and a fulfilled life then why must they be labeled this way?

This is a legitimate question. I think the answer lies entirely within the person doing the drinking. If its ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY to drink those 3 glasses or they panic, then thats a problem. If its just their strong preference, but they could take it or leave it, its another.

Addiction is tricky business.