So a relative needs a kidney

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Way to twist my words 10:56. I wasn't saying not to advocate for yourself. I was saying the team will *also* advocate. I have years of experience with this; please do tell - what is yours?

I'm a nephrologist.

[Anonymous]

Doubtful. If you were you'd know more about the process, about how advocates give potential donors plenty of space (and reasons) to decline, answer question after question. The program also gives the potential donor head-to-toe medical evaluations that would include and kick out anyone with diabetes potential.

I've never ever met a neph who was negative about donation. I'm sure I would not want to.

[Anonymous]

I'm not negative about the process. I'm encouraging potential donors to actively seek information beyond the standard information provided.

[Anonymous]

As was I. I don't know why you highlighted one small piece of my advice. But for the sake of OP, I'll stop fighting with you.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. I am totally checking in to this thread often. You have all been very helpful, and I am feeling less panicky about this. Like I said, I'm going to read up, sit with this, and then see.

[Anonymous]

Way to go OP, either way.

[Anonymous]

OP kidney is one of the most complex and irreplaceable organs in the body. You could develop any number of conditions that would require you the use of BOTH kidneys. Donate to a diabetic family member who is 64 when you are 40. Never. You will be needing that kidney yourself later in life. The kidney and liver work overtime to digest the food we eat in this country. So my answer would be, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doubtful. If you were you'd know more about the process, about how advocates give potential donors plenty of space (and reasons) to decline, answer question after question. The program also gives the potential donor head-to-toe medical evaluations that would include and kick out anyone with diabetes potential.

I've never ever met a neph who was negative about donation. I'm sure I would not want to.

OH, I have. They are all pro donation until they have to do it themselves or for a family member. then they think about the REAL risks. OP with your history of diabetes in the family -- no way. You have a child to care for. Not to mention yourself.

[Anonymous]

You don't live to please your mother.

Learn more but - don't discuss it with anyone - really!
I would assume you could get tested and it would be confidential. Until you know if you could donate, you do not have any decision to make. No angst. Learn and then decide. Don't create drama by bringing other people into this decision till further down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't live to please your mother.

Learn more but - don't discuss it with anyone - really!
I would assume you could get tested and it would be confidential. Until you know if you could donate, you do not have any decision to make. No angst. Learn and then decide. Don't create drama by bringing other people into this decision till further down the road.

On the contrary, I think it would be nicer to let your Uncle know that you are actively exploring whether you can do it. If you say no, he will know it wasn't because you didn't care.

[Anonymous]

Wait, are you a match? Maybe find out if you can even medically donate first...you might not be a match. Can you do that confidentially?

[Anonymous]

Are you willing to die for him?

[Anonymous]

Match doesn't matter. They can do paired exchange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't live to please your mother.

Learn more but - don't discuss it with anyone - really!
I would assume you could get tested and it would be confidential. Until you know if you could donate, you do not have any decision to make. No angst. Learn and then decide. Don't create drama by bringing other people into this decision till further down the road.

OP here. Thanks for this. True. Which is why I'm doing some of my out-loud thinking here first.

[Anonymous]

Do not do it if you are raising a family. That would be my only reservation. I worked in transplant years ago and a 30 something daughter donated to her 60 something dad, and died a few weeks later from a pulmonary embolism. She had two young kids. Rare, but it does happen. So devastating, and his daughter's kidney ended up failing within a year.