explain to me why i'm upset

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They come around every 5-6 weeks? And you drop everything to see them? That's your first mistake. Sounds like they are treated as the golden children and everyone is expected to plan their lives around them--you included.
I'm sorry that your feelings got hurt =( Now you know how things are always going to be though, you can live your life and let them come to you once in a while--you're worth it

This.

[Anonymous]

Are these brothers younger than you?

My mother always makes excuses for my slacker brother, too. She can't seem to help it because it would mean otherwise admitting her failure in raising him.

After a big incident with him, however, she has now stopped trying to defend him to me, and we just don't talk about him anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No advice just sympathy. My 7 year old son just realized my brother has no interest in being an uncle to him.

My brother loves to go to ball games or events with my kids but he doesn't really play Legos or anything with them. I love my nieces and will take them out, do their hair, make crafts, etc. but I can't do imaginary play. Doesn't mean I don't love them. Different strokes for different folks.

Is this OP? It didn't sound like siblings were involved with your kids at all.

[Anonymous]

My younger brother is a dip-sh!t, too... and he's 36.

Sorry your brothers are like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, it seems like you're upset in part because:

- you have certain expectations of your brothers and family
- your mother has certain expectations
- and you and your brothers are in different life stages and priorities.

The only thing you can change of all of this is your own expectations.

Exactly. You also need to understand not everyone wants to play with your kids and no one finds them as interesting as you do.

Listen I have 2 brothers and the only useful thing about that has been on moving day. Otherwise, I've had to realize that they're pretty self-centered. Even after being a devoted aunt to my older brother's kids, he has not reciprocated even 1/2 as much.

As for letting me know whether plans are a go. There have been times where he said he was coming into town and then didn't show up. I had to call him and then he told me after I called that he didn't make it on the road that day.

I've just learned to let go. I'm sure there are exceptions but most guys are not that giving.

[Anonymous]

I would not put nearly this much effort into sibling relationships.