Do you tell a friend that they are making a mistake in who they are marrying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about that part in the wedding where the pastor/justice of the peace, etc. asks if anyone has any objections why this union should not take place....to speak now or forever hold your peace.....??!

This is for legal impediments to the marriage before the officiant pronounces the two legally wed. It's not for getting into your bad vibe about their chances as a couple.

[Anonymous]

Nope. He won't listen now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am someone who DID call off a wedding due to the comments of a good friend. One day when we were talking I had complained about something related to my fiance. My friend pointed out that I seemed unhappy, and that I should really think about what I was getting myself into. It was just the seed I needed planted in my mind to come up with the strength to call it off. Everything was planned. I had the dress and had already put deposits down everything else.

I hope you are very thankful for this friend. I wish I had a friend like that!

Yes, she saved me from a life of misery. I think if she had approached it differently I might have gotten defensive. She took the tactic of just pointing out that I should really, really think about what I was doing. She did not tell me, you need to call this off, or he's a horrible person, or anything like that. I think I listened because she said she cared about me and was concerned for my future happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL @ Addicted to weed.

No seriously, he can't function without it. He loses his mind, turns into a monster and then drinks instead. I have no issues with those that use weed responsibly but he's definitely an addict.

[Anonymous]

My former BFF was engaged to a total loser. Complete alcoholic, went to jail for multiple drunk driving arrests, tried to kiss me. I told her that he was bad news and that she was so wonderful and deserved soooo much better. Well she did dump him but she also dumped me as well. I still think that I did her right thing by her by speaking the truth, but I still miss her 17 years later.

[Anonymous]

I've seen people who didn't seem all that right for each other and sometimes their marriages don't make it. It's sad.

But I have only seen one time that was truly a horrible, train wreck waiting to happen - so clear that this person was not a good one, but head over heals in love. Floating love.

That marriage was a disaster. But looking back I don't know that anyone could have said or done anything to prevent it. Love can be very, very blind.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, maybe it would work to tell friend in a same-gender friendship...

I 'had' an opposite-gender friend that I tried to gently warn of the sea of red flags that I saw waving wildly in their relationship. I was so supportive initially but I simply could not, not see it!

Suffice it to say, we are no longer friends, due primarily to the partner I believe. But I don't regret my concern for them, and perhaps one day they will reach out to me, I'm here.