So my kid learned a new gesture on the bus...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like what? Tell the bus company and the principal and demand they get a bus aide? Your kid's gonna learn shit from older kids. That's life.

Yeah, I know that. I'm not a pearl clutcher. I thought it might be worth mentioning to the bus driver so she can keep an eye on the older kids. But, maybe not worth the effort. Why do people default to rudeness so often on this forum?

I'm being realistic. The bus driver needs to keep an eye on the road. The bus driver's priority is to safely drive the bus. Not to monitor what kids are saying to each other.

+1. The monitoring is supposed to be done by those useless, selectively dictatorial patrols, but that BS is a whole other can of worms.

Wow.

Our patrols are mature and responsible, and very kind to the little kids especially, who look up to and admire them. Sorry about your school, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 8 y/o asked me what "a finger in the hole" meant and when I asked for an explanation of that he showed me making a loose fist and putting his finger in the hole. He wanted to know what it meant and why the boy who showed it to him was laughing. I just told him that it was a crude and rude gesture and not to do it again, and that maybe this boy wasn't someone he wanted to be friends with. We dropped it after that, but I'm wondering if there is anything else I should do?

Yes, you should have explained that it was a crude gesture meant to depict the act of sexual intercourse.

He's 8. He has no idea what sexual intercourse is and doesn't need to right now. He's completely innocent and I want him to stay that way for a little while longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 8 y/o asked me what "a finger in the hole" meant and when I asked for an explanation of that he showed me making a loose fist and putting his finger in the hole. He wanted to know what it meant and why the boy who showed it to him was laughing. I just told him that it was a crude and rude gesture and not to do it again, and that maybe this boy wasn't someone he wanted to be friends with. We dropped it after that, but I'm wondering if there is anything else I should do?

Yes, you should have explained that it was a crude gesture meant to depict the act of sexual intercourse.

He's 8. He has no idea what sexual intercourse is and doesn't need to right now. He's completely innocent and I want him to stay that way for a little while longer.

O...kay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 8 y/o asked me what "a finger in the hole" meant and when I asked for an explanation of that he showed me making a loose fist and putting his finger in the hole. He wanted to know what it meant and why the boy who showed it to him was laughing. I just told him that it was a crude and rude gesture and not to do it again, and that maybe this boy wasn't someone he wanted to be friends with. We dropped it after that, but I'm wondering if there is anything else I should do?

Yes, you should have explained that it was a crude gesture meant to depict the act of sexual intercourse.

He's 8. He has no idea what sexual intercourse is and doesn't need to right now. He's completely innocent and I want him to stay that way for a little while longer.

An 8 year old doesn't know the basic facts about reproduction? He'll be getting the talk next year in 4th grade FLE anyway unless you opt him out. You may as well go ahead and use this as a teachable moment now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 8 y/o asked me what "a finger in the hole" meant and when I asked for an explanation of that he showed me making a loose fist and putting his finger in the hole. He wanted to know what it meant and why the boy who showed it to him was laughing. I just told him that it was a crude and rude gesture and not to do it again, and that maybe this boy wasn't someone he wanted to be friends with. We dropped it after that, but I'm wondering if there is anything else I should do?

Yes, you should have explained that it was a crude gesture meant to depict the act of sexual intercourse.

He's 8. He has no idea what sexual intercourse is and doesn't need to right now. He's completely innocent and I want him to stay that way for a little while longer.

Do you not see the exact problem with your thinking? That rather than getting a natural and timely explanation from you -- the person who should have explained years ago -- he is getting fist f#cking on the school bus as his explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what I would say to my 7 yo (who knows how babies are made):

The finger in the hole probably represents penis in the vagina. Now, that kind of stuff is EXTREMELY personal, and the gesture can get you into a TON OF TROUBLE. Do you see mature responsible grownups doing that? (No. Because it is so personal and obnoxious, that adults know it's a powerfully rude thing to do!) It can certainly get adults into trouble, too.

If someone did that gesture to make other people uncomfortable or nervous or threatened, then they made a terrible mistake and they need to apologize. It can be the kind of thing that a bully might do. Sex is personal. Penises and vaginas are personal. Don't make people sweat or nervous by making that gesture. It's just not right.

And then ask: Is this kid a good kid who just made a mistake? Or does he do this kind of thing all the time? [Then ask what else he does, and take it from there.]

You are setting your child up for teasing if a kid does this in front of him again and he demands they apologize. Chances are, they are not going to apologize. He should just act disinterested and walk away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like what? Tell the bus company and the principal and demand they get a bus aide? Your kid's gonna learn shit from older kids. That's life.

Yeah, I know that. I'm not a pearl clutcher. I thought it might be worth mentioning to the bus driver so she can keep an eye on the older kids. But, maybe not worth the effort. Why do people default to rudeness so often on this forum?

I'm being realistic. The bus driver needs to keep an eye on the road. The bus driver's priority is to safely drive the bus. Not to monitor what kids are saying to each other.

+1. The monitoring is supposed to be done by those useless, selectively dictatorial patrols, but that BS is a whole other can of worms.

Wow.

Our patrols are mature and responsible, and very kind to the little kids especially, who look up to and admire them. Sorry about your school, though.

Doubt it. And I have experience with two elementary schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait until you get asked if a fist can fit in a butt and my all time favorite, banging balls in the face.

You know what though? I think it is FANTASTIC that your kid actually came and asked YOU what this meant. I would never, ever had asked my mom about that. It means you've set up honest, good quality communication with your kids and that they know they can come to you with any questions. Kudos to you.

[Anonymous]

These types of questions are good for talking about sex with your child early and often. Bring it up now while they are still asking you questions about it -- this is why they are asking. They KNOW there is something naughty about it. Wouldn't you rather be the one to explain, rather than have them learn it from the kids on the bus?

[Anonymous]

This stuff happens. It's not a big deal. And NO you do not have to explain about the birds and the bees/sexual intercourse to your 8 year old.

The kid was making a rude gesture. Just like the middle finger is a rude gesture. He thought he was being funny, but he wasn't funny. And doing things like that could get that kid into trouble. Explain to your kid that you never, ever want to see or hear of them doing anything like that. The end.