Anyone's relationship with their own mother go south after becoming a mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Also, MIL actually said these words when we had #2 "I raised my kids, I'm not interested in taking care of babies anymore." She was just passing through on her way to Florida. At least we knew not to ask her for any help.

I think my mom feels this way to some extent, even if she has never said it. And, IMHO, there is nothing wrong with feeling that way. But it is also really, really hard to have a relationship (with mom or friend or other) with someone who feels this way while you are trying to raise young children.

You can't have a friend who is not a parent to young kids? that's why you can't have a relationship with your mother? I can't begin to tell you how convoluted it sounds. She raised you, that was her job, now you raise your kids, that's your job.

Things aren't as black and white as you are making them. I have friends that aren't parents at all. But they "get it," e.g. they understand that my DH and I can't easily leave our house after 7pm and conversations are often interrupted by my toddler. I have friends that don't "get it", i.e. only make plans that involve alcohol and start late at night. And I barely see them. I'm just usually too tired to negotiate childcare with my husband and stay up hours past my bedtime to hang out. I DO have a relationship with my mother, and she has NEVER said anything like "I'm not interested in taking care of babies anymore." FWIW, In the past year, my mom has spent exactly 2 hours taking care of my kid. But I'm not going to bend-over-backwards to please her. I'm tired and my kid takes priority.