Informal survey of African American families

[Anonymous]

Are you saying that standards are lower for AA children? That's PURE b/s. We were rejected at EVERY single school and I wasn't upset or angry. I applied to four schools before the WPPSI (or I probably would have just saved my money) and I believe that due to the WPPSI not be good compared to ALL applicants applying we didn't get a second look. I think they have their WPPSI cut-off and its the same for all kids and then they start weeding out. So we as AA's are not at some advantage! Our kids have to be just as bright and sweet as White kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a caucasian parent, I probably harbor reverse prejudice-- i take it for granted that the african american kids at our private school are probably, on average, smarter, more accomplished and more interesting than the caucasian kids-- on the theory that they come from families where, given this country's legacy of discrimination, the adults had to be really, really good to get where they got, and some of those smarts and skills probably rubbed off on their kids....

Amen! Call it the Barack effect. Actually I would say no to a) and yes to b) in survey. I'm AA and I'd like to thank my white friends who have pointed out some of the faux-versity in private schools. I felt uncomfortable at a couple of places where they talked about diversity multiple times using brochures and stats. On campus, based solely on appearance (nothing else to go on in the moment), the kids and staff didn't seem to match up to the admissions talk. Some parents confirmed the diversity was, lack of a better term, skin deep.

For example, at one private we applied to (unsuccesfully), turned out nearly all the parents I informally surveyed applying at the same time came from the same zip code, most had gone to same or similar colleges, nearly all worked downtown or law firm or World Bank. We were a rainbow of skin colors but hardly diverse. hmmmm

How hard is it to find a black, latino, or disabled child from an economically disadvanted background in DC??? Diversity is not just about brochure photos and checking the boxes. We're looking for a new school that will be more reflective of the city we actually live in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So here are my questions:

(1) Are there other AA families out there who get these same types of comments - or do I just have an unusual collection of friends?

(2) Are you an AA family whose child was turned down from a private school?

1. I get that comment all the time but it really does not bother me for two reasons. First, I am secure in the knowledge thst my son is smart. He sored in the 99th %ile in the WPPSI and his school work thereafter has borne witness to this score. The second reason is that I believe there is some truth in the statement. I know that a mixed race child of one black and one european parent (who are not super wealthyand had no connections - in fact just moved to the US), who scored highly in the WPPSI and is very well behaved is a poster child for diversity at most of the private schools. I am very pleased that my son is in our first choice school (one of the Big 3) and receiving a top notch education. Talk me through why I would be upset by this scenario regardless of how others think we got there. In fact I have barely given much thought to what others think.

2. We got into all the schools we applied to which included the top 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you saying that standards are lower for AA children? That's PURE b/s. We were rejected at EVERY single school and I wasn't upset or angry. I applied to four schools before the WPPSI (or I probably would have just saved my money) and I believe that due to the WPPSI not be good compared to ALL applicants applying we didn't get a second look. I think they have their WPPSI cut-off and its the same for all kids and then they start weeding out. So we as AA's are not at some advantage! Our kids have to be just as bright and sweet as White kids.

No one on this thread has said that there are lower standards for children with visible diversity. People assume that, given equal qualifications, black children and other children with visible diversity have a leg up in the process over their white counterparts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a caucasian parent, I probably harbor reverse prejudice-- i take it for granted that the african american kids at our private school are probably, on average, smarter, more accomplished and more interesting than the caucasian kids-- on the theory that they come from families where, given this country's legacy of discrimination, the adults had to be really, really good to get where they got, and some of those smarts and skills probably rubbed off on their kids....

Best response so far. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I am Black and we applied to five privates. I am not at all offended by the comment because I know without a shadow of a doubt that both my DD's are very smart, kind, wonderful citizens of the world. DH and I are very well educated, upper middle class and extremely well traveled. We also don't require financial aid. DD also did VERY well on the WPPSI and had GREAT playdates.

Given all of that plus the fact that we are Black; top 3 alum; applying to schools where traditionally (xGDS) diversity is an issue... that does give us a leg up. I have no problem with that whatsoever. If other people want to assume that our kids got in based on some relaxed requirements, that's their issue not mine. When people say to me, "you're Black, you'll get in!!!" I say...

"you're damn right because WE are tight!"

FWIW... DH and I look very young and outside of work we dress like hip twenty year olds. We also don't live in a leafy NW 'hood. People make assumptions based on appearance and it's so unfortunate because those same people are the ones holding the rejection letters wondering how WE got in.

[Anonymous]

I hear these insinuations all the time. It seems like people don't understand that this area has lots of affluent African Americans (some of whom are 2nd generation at private schools, like my neighbors), so there are consequently lots of applicants who fit that description. My own children got in to several schools, but not every school they applied to, but they also had very high scores on the admission tests. I have many friends whose kids got into a couple of schools, but not every one, and two friends whose kids didn't get in to schools their siblings attended! So, having darker skin doesn't guarantee admission. It's just another factor for the school to consider.

[Anonymous]

FWIW... DH and I look very young and outside of work we dress like hip twenty year olds. We also don't live in a leafy NW 'hood. People make assumptions based on appearance and it's so unfortunate because those same people are the ones holding the rejection letters wondering how WE got in.

YOU ARE IGNORNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GHETTO

[Anonymous]

I hear these insinuations all the time. It seems like people don't understand that this area has lots of affluent African Americans (some of whom are 2nd generation at private schools, like my neighbors), so there are consequently lots of applicants who fit that description. My own children got in to several schools, but not every school they applied to, but they also had very high scores on the admission tests. I have many friends whose kids got into a couple of schools, but not every one, and two friends whose kids didn't get in to schools their siblings attended! So, having darker skin doesn't guarantee admission. It's just another factor for the school to consider.

VERY WELL SAID AND SO TRUE

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW... DH and I look very young and outside of work we dress like hip twenty year olds. We also don't live in a leafy NW 'hood. People make assumptions based on appearance and it's so unfortunate because those same people are the ones holding the rejection letters wondering how WE got in.

YOU ARE IGNORNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GHETTO

12:22 here... My colleagues would agree with you. I am one of the few partners that listens to hip hop. Imagine that!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW... DH and I look very young and outside of work we dress like hip twenty year olds. We also don't live in a leafy NW 'hood. People make assumptions based on appearance and it's so unfortunate because those same people are the ones holding the rejection letters wondering how WE got in.

YOU ARE IGNORNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GHETTO

12:22 again. It's interesting that you would consider me ignorant and ghetto because of a post. I'm suprised you didn't add all of the other stereotypes lobbed at Black people for not taking offense to the types of comments mentioned by OP... "oreo" "uncle tom", etc... Please don't mistake my confidence and love of hip hop (and slang for that matter) as anything other than being a product of the times. I am neither ignorant or ghetto. That chip on your shoulder will cause you unnecessary pain if you keep it up.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my White friends have said this to me. I don't take offense; I consider it to be true. I think highly qualified children of color have an edge. Our child had a very high WPPSI score, both parents have doctorates, etc.

Yes, we got in everywhere we applied. No legacy status.

[Anonymous]

Two more weeks, everyone...two more weeks

[Anonymous]

To those whose children got into everywhere you applied, what school did you choose?

[Anonymous]

12:22 again. It's interesting that you would consider me ignorant and ghetto because of a post. I'm suprised you didn't add all of the other stereotypes lobbed at Black people for not taking offense to the types of comments mentioned by OP... "oreo" "uncle tom", etc... Please don't mistake my confidence and love of hip hop (and slang for that matter) as anything other than being a product of the times. I am neither ignorant or ghetto. That chip on your shoulder will cause you unnecessary pain if you keep it up.

What makes you THINK your so hip? Oh, the way you dress and the music? That is hilarious and it is IGNORGANT. I'm white and I live in the city (not a "leafty" neighborhood either) and I dress hip and listen to hip hop and rap but does that make me better or more qualified. It is just wrong for you to say that people will judge you or me because of the way we dress and where we live. What really bothered me more was your comment about the people talking about you are the one's holding rejection letters...GET OVER YOURSELF..I'm sure NOBODY is even thinking about YOU!