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Informal survey of African American families
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Anonymous
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"They never say, your child will get in because he/she is a lovely child who scored in the 90th percentile on the WPPSI its always your black, your in!"
How in the world would anyone know your child's test score? |
Anonymous
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"My children have experienced tougher grading standards from their teachers. They've caught on to this, and are in the practice of conferencing with their teachers regarding "odd grades." I wouldn't describe this as proving their worth. Depending on the school and child's personality this kind of situation can help build character. "
Character building is a myth. Don't you read the papers? |
Anonymous
| I have been guilty (if that's the word) of talking with my African American friends about concerns about the whole admissions process in this area, including a belief (shared by them) that their kids have a significant leg up (or at least are perceived to by all of us based on anecdotes). I had no intent of being offensive, but the previous posters seem to feel that it's wholly inappropriate for someone (or at least someone who is not African American, though I don't think that should make a difference) point out that kids who are in minority groups have a leg up in admissions. My kids (they are white) will have a leg up based on other characteristics (family connections) at two schools we'll apply to, and I don't feel at all offended when that has come up in conversation, which is mainly when friends are trying to give me some perspective by reminding me that my kids are in a better starting position than others in this crazy admissions process. I remember having similar conversations with friends about graduate school admissions. I was considered very fortunate in terms of admissions because I am female and am from a particular area of the country. If schools give a leg up to certain kids based on their ethnicity, or on any other characteristic, why is it offensive to talk about it? I can see why it would be offensive if someone were to imply that an unqualified child was admitted to a school based on race, but I would assume that we would all largely agree that private school admissions are largely based on characteristics that have nothing to do with merit (how different are our lovely 5 year olds from each other?), so what's the problem talking openly about it? And, what I'll admit bugs me a bit, why does it make a difference that I'm white and talk about it? |
Anonymous
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No, I have not heard these things, I may hand with a different crowd or give off the impression that I won't tolerate it.
We got into 2 of the 4 we applied to. Soso WPPSI, but dd was reading at 4 very well. She is still one of the best readers in her 2nd grade class. |
Anonymous
Because you're insinuating that the child is benefitting from a "quota." It's rude to come out and say this to somebody - it's just in poor taste. Sure, there are lots of reasons why kids are admitted that have nothing to do with their intelligence, character, etc. White parents who do this are making themselves feel better for not being admitted at the expense of the "diverse" families by insinuating that, but for race, they too would find themselves locked out of the "top three." |
Anonymous
| But it's okay to insinuate that some kids get in because they have siblings attending the school or because their families are super-wealthy? |
Anonymous
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Sometimes race brings discrimination - sometimes privilege.
If it's okay to talk about instances of discrimination, why isn't it okay to talk about instances of privilege? |
Anonymous
| Would anyone apply to a school that administered an IQ test and took only the top scorers, with no other factor being considered? |
Anonymous
Isn't that pretty much what a public magnet school is? |
Anonymous
I think it is in poor taste too to insinuate that some kids get in because of siblings/connections but I think its comparing apples with oranges. People can't take one quick look at you and know that you have siblings at the school or that you come from a family that is connected. Maybe I am totally wrong but it seems like people are more accepting of the fact that some kids get in because of siblings/connections - people aren't so understanding when it comes to race. And there is plenty of evidence of that on this board. |
Anonymous
My guess is the applicant pools have some more qualified students of all races who are not admitted because they lack sibling/family/wealth/connections. My greatest fear is that the school would slight my child when an actual student to defer to those whose families [goes beyond the parents] have wealth and/or connections. Different standards of behavior, academic integrity & performance, athletics? |
Anonymous
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AA family:
Applied to two, accepted to one. We, too, have been a victim of the assumed 'leg up' syndrome. Since I know better, such comments are trivial and never worth acknowledging. I wish it were that easy! We await March decisions and are just as anxious as anyone else. |
Anonymous
As a caucasian parent, I probably harbor reverse prejudice-- i take it for granted that the african american kids at our private school are probably, on average, smarter, more accomplished and more interesting than the caucasian kids-- on the theory that they come from families where, given this country's legacy of discrimination, the adults had to be really, really good to get where they got, and some of those smarts and skills probably rubbed off on their kids....
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Anonymous
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Perhaps it's a bit tasteless to say it out loud, but it's true - why not just respond with good humor?
Sure, having visible diversity won't get a dc in on its own, but a highly qualified diversity candidate will get in over an equally qualified, non-priority white child in most cases. It's a simple supply and demand issue. Private school admissions is one situation in which being a racial minority counts for a child, not against them. I say enjoy it and be grateful for the momentary advantage it conveys to your dc. It's nothing to be ashamed of. |
Anonymous
That is exactly what a true test-in public magnet does, and there's no shame in that. If you're brilliant, you're in! If you're average, you're not. Now, I am fairly certain that race and gender do indeed come into play if there are two candidates who are equally qualified and only one spot to fill. |