My Son's Grandma Is a BITCH!!!!

[Anonymous]

geez, lots of grumpy posters on this one. Sorry about that OP.

I wonder what percentile is your child for weight and height? Is he very slender for his height?

In any case, I think I would tell grandma "His doctors say he's perfectly healthy, well within the normal ranges for weight and growing just fine. Yes, I know he's not fat like a lot of babies, but please believe me that we've had him checked out and he's OK. But it's OK for grandma to spoil him during your special visit ".

Oh so sweetly. Then you can come here and post about her, most of us don't mind

[Anonymous]

I'm also sorry for all the "grumpy" and "stop complaining" posts. Not helpful at all.

I think you have a right to bugged by her. She seems like a firestarter in her communication. Is she always so incendiary in the way she talks? All the malnourished and social services talk is too much.

Is she herself heavy? Are her kids? She might have skewed perspective on weight or have her own weight issues.

Regardless, the only way I can truly deal with these kind of verbal barbs from my MIL is by ignoring them and secretly pitying her. She must be a pretty miserable person to be unloading so much vile, or maybe someone talked to her this way in her own life. I just try to "think of a happy" place.

BUT, if she starts doing things that are harmful to your child (like feeding him junk, force feeding, etc.) or if she crosses a line, then you do have to say something (preferably with her son in the room, or through him). Words you can brush off mostly, but bad actions (cutting you down in front of your child, or force feeding) must be dealt with differently.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

My concern would be what she says to your child when they are alone together. Given what she says to you, it seems plausible to assume that she says things to him along the lines of your not taking good care enough of him, or just otherwise being less than positive about you. This will confuse and upset him eventually.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, are all the posters supportive of Grandma not reading the part about Granny implying that she is some neglecting her son. This is not the cheery "Are you hungry? No. Okay I fix you something" you saw in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. This woman has implied that CPS would catch on to her. That implies that she believes her DIL's conduct amounts to abuse or neglect.

That is crossing the line.

ALso, I agree with the poster that Daddy needs to get involved and have a chat with dear old mom about respecting his wife.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and I also agree, I would be concerned about what Granny is saying behind your back to your son. I'd be limiting his time in this kind of unsupervised setting in the future.

[Anonymous]

PP here:

DS is not underweight, he is a picky eater and has been mostly around DH and I, so I am assuming him being around lots of other folks and growing plus it's a different kind of cooking etc. All in all DS eats and is not skinny or looks underweight.

[Anonymous]

PP here:

Yes I do think that MIL talks about me with DH they are white on rice!

[Anonymous]

My mom got after me just last weekend about my son being underweight. It was not until I stood with her medical books and asked her to look up his weight on the age and height charts that she relented, and she's a pediatrician. I was so angry (because she always brings up this issue) that I actually called her fat (terrible of me), called my father fat (he wasn't there) and said that I thought my husband's weight would lead to an early death, or at least a lack of further grandchildren. I know, very bad conduct on my part, for which I have apologized profusely. I just lost it. I was so tired of being essentially accused of being delinquent, and of my mom chasing after my kids with food and feeding them crap. I should have just let her be (I mean that). She loves my kids and she loves me. I think there must be some instinctual thing going on because she is as nuts about my toddlers' sizes as I was about nursing/researching preschool/serving organic milk, you name it. OP -- you are not alone.