If your partner snores, how do you cope?

[Anonymous]

Mine had surgery

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: my husband has thus far refused to go to a doctor because "he doesn't have sleep apnea and they're just going to recommend an expensive painful surgery that is only moderately effective." I've been trying to be patient while he futzes around with new pillows and his allergy meds, and most nights we end up in separate beds, which kind of breaks my heart. The baby also really complicates things.

I'm tempted to find an ENT or someone and go myself just so I can ask the questions he won't.

This was my husband's excuse, too. He won't go to a doctor because "what they do for snoring is horrible, and I won't let them do that to me." I told him that going to 1 appointment wasn't a commitment to do anything, that nobody is going to force a procedure on him. I told him it would mean a lot to me if he just go see what a doctor has to say. Still refused. I was really disappointed that my well being meant so little to him. It still hurts and we've definitely grown apart because of this.

I'd move my ass to the spare bedroom so fast.

[Anonymous]

I don't get this. If you aren't sleeping well and he refuses to get help or move out of the room, then you need to move out of the room. I don't see another option. He's being incredibly selfish, by the way. But you already know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get this. If you aren't sleeping well and he refuses to get help or move out of the room, then you need to move out of the room. I don't see another option. He's being incredibly selfish, by the way. But you already know that.

Close... but HE (or she if she is the snorer) needs to move out of the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: my husband has thus far refused to go to a doctor because "he doesn't have sleep apnea and they're just going to recommend an expensive painful surgery that is only moderately effective." I've been trying to be patient while he futzes around with new pillows and his allergy meds, and most nights we end up in separate beds, which kind of breaks my heart. The baby also really complicates things.

I'm tempted to find an ENT or someone and go myself just so I can ask the questions he won't.


This was my husband's excuse, too. He won't go to a doctor because "what they do for snoring is horrible, and I won't let them do that to me." I told him that going to 1 appointment wasn't a commitment to do anything, that nobody is going to force a procedure on him. I told him it would mean a lot to me if he just go see what a doctor has to say. Still refused. I was really disappointed that my well being meant so little to him. It still hurts and we've definitely grown apart because of this.

this was my husband too, but finally I said our intimacy was going to suffer--I was angry and tired. He did a sleep study--instead of a cpap (and no surgery) he got a 2500$ mouthguard that takes care of 80 percent of the noise (I used to hear him a floor away, even with the door closed). NOw, between that and my earplugs, we're usually fine. If he's congested its worse and he sleeps elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine suffering through poor sleep, pissed off every time his snoring wakes me up, just to pretend we're "intimate."

I love sleeping in my own bed. I always request two beds in hotels, and we snuggle for awhile in one, then one of us moves to the other to sleep. Perfection. And, to my mind, no different than saying "Can I please poop in peace?"

[Anonymous]

We're in our early 50's, empty-nesters...and he's a very loud snorer (I do snore on occasion, but not like him). He just now started sleeping in the guest room...about 2 months ago. It felt really weird not sleeping in the same room at first, actually it still does. But he was waking me up all night, then I'd wake him up all night by asking him to be quiet. Now we're both sleeping great. Not sure if we'll continue doing this. We keep saying it's temporary. I'm just glad to know we're not the only ones!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine suffering through poor sleep, pissed off every time his snoring wakes me up, just to pretend we're "intimate."

I love sleeping in my own bed. I always request two beds in hotels, and we snuggle for awhile in one, then one of us moves to the other to sleep. Perfection. And, to my mind, no different than saying "Can I please poop in peace?"

OMG I love you PP, although I would never dare to say this outloud (and indeed have never framed it this way!) But yes - the need to sleep in my own bed is a need for privacy and peace and space for a necessary biological function.

[Anonymous]

This business of sleeping together all night long is fairly recent, you know, and actually an artifact of the poors. Rich people throughout history have never slept in the same wing of the house, forget the same bed. Why should we be forced to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine had surgery

So did mine.

He still snores b/c he gained weight.

separate rooms - I'm not killing my health and sanity for some "snuggle time."

[Anonymous]

Theravent strips sold on Amazon really work.

Sent DH to a sleep study but to my shock no cpap and no sleep apnea. Dr recommEnded these.

[Anonymous]

My husband did the sleep study, but refused to wear the CPAP (he couldn't sleep comfortably with it). At that point, we both agreed that we would be better partners if we slept apart. We've been sleeping in separate rooms for almost our entire 12 year marriage, and we couldn't be happier. We have three children and, despite not sleeping together, we find many opportunities for and different ways to express intimacy. We both appreciate our "alone" time as much as we appreciate our "together" time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine suffering through poor sleep, pissed off every time his snoring wakes me up, just to pretend we're "intimate."

I love sleeping in my own bed. I always request two beds in hotels, and we snuggle for awhile in one, then one of us moves to the other to sleep. Perfection. And, to my mind, no different than saying "Can I please poop in peace?"

OMG I love you PP, although I would never dare to say this outloud (and indeed have never framed it this way!) But yes - the need to sleep in my own bed is a need for privacy and peace and space for a necessary biological function.

A kindred spirit! I thought I was the only person who said, "poop in peace"!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband did the sleep study, but refused to wear the CPAP (he couldn't sleep comfortably with it). At that point, we both agreed that we would be better partners if we slept apart. We've been sleeping in separate rooms for almost our entire 12 year marriage, and we couldn't be happier. We have three children and, despite not sleeping together, we find many opportunities for and different ways to express intimacy. We both appreciate our "alone" time as much as we appreciate our "together" time.

Do your kids ever ask why you don't sleep in the same room? I went back to the master bedroom because I didn't want my daughter to think something was wrong between us.

[Anonymous]

I wear ear plugs and I am still able to hear my kids. Strangely, my husband does not wear ear plugs and seems to never hear the kids. I've been wearing ear plugs for years - my kids are now 5 and 3. But I wore them when they were much, much younger.