S/o where does picky eating come from?

[Anonymous]

Another parent to one picky eater and one reasonable one. I was an EXTREMELY picky eater as a child, and also sat for hours at the table when I refused to eat 6 peas. Foods I didn't like made me gag. I loathed eating well into elementary school.

I'm now willing to try just about anything, and enjoy a huge variety of foods. I grit my teeth through my daughter's pickiness and know she'll likely grow out of it just as I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:60% lazy parenting
40% actual physical or psychological issues with the child.

Said the parent of a non-picky eater.

And the parent of a child who sleeps through the night.

And the parent of a quiet, compliant child.

And the parent of a child with good grades.

And as for your child: Have you considered it might be luck rather than your fabulous parenting???

I think you missed my point.

60% of the picky eaters are the result of lazy parents
40% of the picky eaters were born that way

Not 60%/40%!of each child

No, I got your point. You feel that 60% of the time, it's the parent's fault when a child is picky -- out of 100 picky kids, 60 of them are the product of poor parenting.

And you have not gotten my point, which is that you need to stop wearing your ass for a hat.

- signed a lazy parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am picky, but not nearly as picky as I was as a kid.

I dont really think its that big a deal. In most of the world, people eat a limited menu and often the same thing daily. Yet, here in the US (and primarily in the wealthy DC area), we insist a child should like every vegetable, fruit, grain, protein, etc. Why? Why do I need to like quinoa when I can eat rice? I like rice. I dont complain about it, yet if I refuse to eat bulgar, quinoa, or farro, suddenly I am a "picky eater". Its really insane.

There's this. My husband is kind of obsessed with making our kid an adventurous eater. I don't care if she is or not--I care that she will eat enough different foods that (1) she has no trouble eating a balanced diet and (2) can find something on pretty much every restaurant menu or dinner party that she will like. I don't like every single food--in fact, there are lots of foods I don't like--so I don't see why my kid should be any different. To me, picky eating means that a child eats a very limited diet, like only rice and chicken, or won't eat entire categories of food (won't eat any vegetables, for example). A kid who does't like broccoli and farro but will eat green peas and oatmeal is not, in my opinion, an especially picky eater.

I had strong food aversions as a child--mostly to do with texture, but not entirely. I would vomit or go hungry rather than eat something I didn't like. My mom didn't cater to it, particularly (definitely no short-order cooking!), but she also never forced me to eat anything I didn't like (our rule was, you could fill up on whatever was on the dinner table). I ate a balanced and healthy diet, even if some individual meals consisted entirely of bread and butter or carrot sticks. Eventually, I came to like some of the foods I didn't like as a kid, but some foods I just think I will never like, and that's okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

- signed a lazy parent

I think it's lazy thinking to blame things on other people's "lazy parenting." I'm not even sure what "lazy parenting" means. Not to mention that it's the opposite of lazy to prepare separate meals for each family member.

[Anonymous]

Theres different kinds of picky. I will not eat cafeteria food, cheap meat, overcooked vegetables, fast food, etc. I'd rather go hungry. I do eat a wide variety of food though. I was an extremely picky eater as a child. My parents were old school and did not cater to me at all--I just went hungry and was very underweight.
My husband grew up eating processed crap. He eats a narrow range of food but will eat it from anywhere.
We both consider each other inordinately picky.
My "picky" child may take after me in having a very sensitive palate. She notices small changes in a recipe. I think eventually her palate will mature and she'll appreciate a broader range of foods. She does also have some other sensory sensitivities. I don't "cater" but I do allow her to make her own dinner if she doesn't like I made. That's how I learned to cook.

[Anonymous]

Sensory/texture issues. I've got them, too. I learned to eat a wide variety of foods, but over the course of 25 years. My son is the same. I encourage, but don't push.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well as a former picky eater I generally think people stress way too much over it. I'm not picky at all as an adult.

+1 on all of this. I was catered to too much as a kid. There's no picky eating in poor families, underdeveloped countries, etc.

I'm not a short-order cook. Our kids eat everything as a result.

First, this is false.

Second, I'm not sure that "You'd eat this if you were literally starving" is the goal I'm going for. There are things I wouldn't eat unless I were extremely hungry, and I'm not a picky eater.

There are picky eaters across the entire economic spectrum. I take my daughter to Kennedy Krieger Feeding Clinic. Plenty of inner city folks there. Plenty of West Africans. Plenty of Asians. Plenty of WHATEVER.

Those people are here in this country, where even if you are hungry, you still have choices. They are not in Somalia, where you get what you get, if anything.

[Anonymous]

This article from the Post today is really interesting: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2014/11/04/the-stark-difference-between-what-poor-babies-and-rich-babies-eat/

Be careful what you feed your babies when they are young because it may dictate their preferences later in life.

IMO some kids are picky because of texture or other physiological issues, but those are rare. ALmost all issues of picky eaters are cultural. I have two kids and one is somewhat picky. I take responsibility for that. For a while when he was younger we didn't handle it well and indulged him. That said, he does eat plenty of food that is not on the typical "kid friendly" list - because it's been given to him repeatedly since he was tiny- that's why he loves tofu, broccoli and spicy food.

People whose kids will only eat mac and cheese, chicken nuggets and the like have only themselves to blame.

[Anonymous]

My brother has fraternal twins. They ate pretty much the exact same things everyday until about age 2, when one of them starting rejecting everything but the blandest food. They are five now and one still rejects most foods and the other will eat just about anything put down in front of them.

So, to the lazy parenting poster, no that's not it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well as a former picky eater I generally think people stress way too much over it. I'm not picky at all as an adult.

This. I also have identical twins and they were exposed to the same foods at the same times. Each has their own preferences - what they like and what they refuse to eat. I choose not to sweat it.

On the other hand, my husband has an identical twin and to this day they have very similar food preferences (virtually identical). They both hate tomatoes and broccoli, for example. Their sister who was obviously raised in the same household, does not have the same food preferences. On the other hand, they didn't eat a lot of healthy food growing up, or a wide variety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well as a former picky eater I generally think people stress way too much over it. I'm not picky at all as an adult.

+1 on all of this. I was catered to too much as a kid. There's no picky eating in poor families, underdeveloped countries, etc.

I'm not a short-order cook. Our kids eat everything as a result.

First, this is false.

Second, I'm not sure that "You'd eat this if you were literally starving" is the goal I'm going for. There are things I wouldn't eat unless I were extremely hungry, and I'm not a picky eater.

There are picky eaters across the entire economic spectrum. I take my daughter to Kennedy Krieger Feeding Clinic. Plenty of inner city folks there. Plenty of West Africans. Plenty of Asians. Plenty of WHATEVER.

Those people are here in this country, where even if you are hungry, you still have choices. They are not in Somalia, where you get what you get, if anything.

Which means what? That if we take a control group of people and starve them, none of them would be picky? What, exactly, does that prove, about picky eating and willfullness and genetics and lazy parenting? Absolutely nothing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother has fraternal twins. They ate pretty much the exact same things everyday until about age 2, when one of them starting rejecting everything but the blandest food. They are five now and one still rejects most foods and the other will eat just about anything put down in front of them.

So, to the lazy parenting poster, no that's not it.

You are misunderstanding this. Yes, some kids will eat everything in front of them. Other kids will reject certain foods. It's how you react to that which determines whether your kids have a picky phase or are always picky. If you take one kids rejection of what's offered as a reason to offer something else and continue offering something else until you find something that they want to eat you are taking the lazy approach and indulging your kid. You are creating long term poor eating habits in your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This article from the Post today is really interesting: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2014/11/04/the-stark-difference-between-what-poor-babies-and-rich-babies-eat/

Be careful what you feed your babies when they are young because it may dictate their preferences later in life.

IMO some kids are picky because of texture or other physiological issues, but those are rare. ALmost all issues of picky eaters are cultural. I have two kids and one is somewhat picky. I take responsibility for that. For a while when he was younger we didn't handle it well and indulged him. That said, he does eat plenty of food that is not on the typical "kid friendly" list - because it's been given to him repeatedly since he was tiny- that's why he loves tofu, broccoli and spicy food.

People whose kids will only eat mac and cheese, chicken nuggets and the like have only themselves to blame.

I've got what I consider a picky eater, because he's very discriminating in what he eats. But when he was an infant, he'd eat all kinds of stuff he won't eat now at 7 year old -- fresh avocado, fresh oranges, even spaghetti, which he just will NOT eat. But my husband and I come from two different cultures and he's been exposed to a very wide variety of foods. He will eat grilled octopus (and I'm not talking calamari, I mean the real huge nasty looking octopus) and pick off meat from fish heads in a heart beat, but won't eat a turkey sandwich. I don't know why his tastes shut down around age 2. I can't see any pattern in what he doesn't like. But it wasn't for lack of early exposure or lack of trying.

[Anonymous]

Why does everyone have to eat everything? As long as you eat some foods in each food group (and you are not making your 2 y.o. their own 4 course meal every night), who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Those people are here in this country, where even if you are hungry, you still have choices. They are not in Somalia, where you get what you get, if anything.

OK, let's agree that people who are literally starving are not picky eaters. And so therefore...well, what? If you don't literally starve your child when your child gets picky, you're a lazy parent?