Two schools of thought on homework, studying issues: 1) have DS tough it out, or 2) intervene

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear 9:14 - you had me till you felt the need to point out your own gifted kids who are clearly head and shoulders above the rest.

She had me until she said "hire a tutor" Lord people, can't you work with your kids or get help at the private school you are paying for? Why so quick to hire tutors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear 9:14 - you had me till you felt the need to point out your own gifted kids who are clearly head and shoulders above the rest.

She had me until she said "hire a tutor" Lord people, can't you work with your kids or get help at the private school you are paying for? Why so quick to hire tutors.

I said hire a tutor if you need one. This is a nasty crowd. Thank goodness we got out of private school after elementary!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the phrase "get back to his computer games" is worrisome. Why do you allow computer games to be such an important part of his life?

Awfully judgy. There does reach a point where parents can't, and shouldn't, control their child's interests. You don't get to say whats important to your child.

DS was really, really into video games at one point and I wasn't happy about it. We had rules limiting them but that didn't make it less important to him. After a few years he burned out on them and now doesn't play them at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the phrase "get back to his computer games" is worrisome. Why do you allow computer games to be such an important part of his life?

Awfully judgy. There does reach a point where parents can't, and shouldn't, control their child's interests. You don't get to say whats important to your child.

DS was really, really into video games at one point and I wasn't happy about it. We had rules limiting them but that didn't make it less important to him. After a few years he burned out on them and now doesn't play them at all.

You're mixing up two very different issues: (a) OP telling her middle schooler how to use his time, and (b) whether or not computer games are important to him.

Yes, she does get to say how her middle schooler should use his time. Their brains aren't fully developed yet, especially the cortex which is responsible for planning and weighing choices - this is well-known science. By the end of high school she does need to be out of bigger choices like his college and major, though. Who cares if computer games or texting or TV is more "important" than school or doing chores right now.

You say you had rules limiting computer use -- so what's your point, anyway?