Am I the only WOHM who does not cook?

[Anonymous]

I guess they eat frozen dinner meals or takeout?

[Anonymous]

could what DH is saying really be that he wants a family dinnertime, as opposed to a gourmet meal per se...?

I'm a fan of family meals, but it is hard with two working parents and kids that age to put a great meal on the table. I love to cook, but I also have a 1 year old and a 3 year old and we try to eat at 6:30 with the 3 year old (baby eats earlier). DH doesn't get home until about 6:25 so this is tricky. Tonight we had omelettes with ham and veggie and cheese quesadillas - simple, but reasonably healthy and quick.
Unless you are really committed to the weekend cooking thing (and that takes time too) DH's expectations may not be entirely reasonable.

[Anonymous]

I get this from my husband too. Here are a few of the things we have done in the past -
1. If money is no object and you know a SAHM who likes to cook, ask if she would be willing to fix meals for the cost of the food and her time. I did this with a friend for a while - she just doubled up on what she was making for her family and I grabbed it on the way home, or she came over, with prepared food at the beginning of the week and put it in the freezer and left me instructions. She earned extra money, I saved myself the headache and learned some great new recipes.
2. Bulk cook and freeze - second the post from a previous poster - absolutely lifesaving. And really, if you are making one meatloaf, why not make five?
3. Ask around for really easy recipes from your parents and their friends. Example - BBQ chicken - mixture of different types of chicken parts (thighs, legs, breasts) - pour on BBQ sauce, cover with foil, cook in over for 2 hours at 325. Tastes great - no fuss. My mom had a ton of these in reserve that I had forgotten about - after all they didn't fit the gourmet cooking I did pre-kids. But now that I have kids, they are perfect.
4. Tell your husband he has to take dinner a certain number of nights per week. Then make him stick to it. That helped cut down on the comments. Everybody wants to be a director you know...

[Anonymous]

Honestly- get a basic cookbook and start slow or go to one of those dinner out type of things- you don't want your kids to eat crappy processed foods all the time and once you start cooking- you are taking care of everyone- good food/low cost vs alternatives- help your kids into healthy eating habits. I grew up with very diverse food- but at college my first meal was senior year making hamburger helper.. and i overcooked it and refused to eat it.. flash forward 10 years and I'm now into finding recipes online w;/ingredients I have and enjoy coking (actually givesme a break- DH watches kid though i try to make it fast recipes).. I cook gourmet meals - try new things when possible. Just keep in mind I started way late (not "home grown") and it still works out.. I am now taking a cooking class with my super picky 3 year old to get her used to new textures etc.. I try things like fondue night to get her to try new forms of her regular foods and try a new form (? sometimes). It's an effort- but I'm better equiped.

I'd recommend Everyday food magazine for a start since it spells out time and ingredients- I subscribe since it's esay and fast- I know exactly what I'm getting into..

hth

[Anonymous]

I work full time and so does DH. He does most of the cooking. He likes it more than I do and he works at home 2-3 days a week. I cook maybe a dozen times a year. I try to go all out when I do. Sometimes I will do something in the crockpot if I feel like it.

[Anonymous]

Sign your lazy-ass husband up for cooking classes if he's not happy with the meals you are preparing (which sound fine to me).

[Anonymous]

I can't say we cook much, but I started using one of those menu sites on the internet. I signed up for thescramble.com and also e-mealz.com. e-mealz is only $5 per month, so you can't beat the price. When I take one of their menus and grocery lists to the store, and then have 5 meals figured out in advance, it is such a relief. I hate having to go through the what's for dinner tonight thing every single day. It is so draining.

[Anonymous]

First, I'll join the chorus of PPs who are asking why DH doesn't cook or put forward some plan for how you can work together to put meals on the table. But, beyond this, if you, OP, are interested in cooking more, I can reassure you that even if you don't cook much now, as your kids get older you'll have more time to cook. As my kids got into elementary school, I rediscovered my love of cooking and now we eat really yummy home-cooked meals most nights. Over time my kids have became interested in food and cooking as well, so it's become a fun family activity. We all watch Top Chef together and the kids have actually entered cooking contests themselves (they are now 14 and 8) We even eat in the dining room with candlelight -- just like downtown, as my midwestern MIL says. But, I still don't do batch-cooking on the weekends -- for me, that would just feel like work. Instead, I put on some music, pour a glass of wine and get in touch with my inner domestic goddess. As for my DH -- he compliments the chefs and makes that kitchen shine after dinner.

[Anonymous]

I am a working mom, and I just can't cook. I'm terrible.

I can boil spaghetti and open a jar, I can make a salad. But really, beyond that, I'm worthless.

I suggest you agree with your husband and ask him what HIS plan is for how you are going to implement HIS idea.

Take turns - you cook two week nights, he cooks two week nights, pizza night, and weekends are catch-as-catch can.

The nights someone cooks, they don't have to do the dishes. When you don't cook, you are on dish duty.

Fair is fair. If you are working, he's got to step up in the kitchen.

[Anonymous]

I must be the only one who loves to cook. I even make my own bread with the bread mashine.

But I got tired of the man complaining. I do not make the same kind of roast potatoes that his mother does. I reminded him often (often) that he did not marry his mother. He talkes to his mother on the phone a lot and I get comments from her about what I cook.

That was some time ago. We are separated now.

[Anonymous]

I don't know what it is, but there's something I just love about putting a delicious, well balanced home cooked meal on the table. My husband cooks too, and family mealtimes are important to us. And we both work.

[Anonymous]

I work outside the home for a major corporation and honestly...I cook 6 nights a week. We order pizza on Friday because I am just not cooking on Friday night.

I cook because I like to and also one of the things that can really help lower childhood obseity levels is cooking at home with your kids.

Here is what I call cooking:
-Home made pizza with whole wheat crust (trader joes premade crust)
-chicken dijon
-pasta with sauage and dijon cream
-pan seared steaks
-tortellini or ravioli on Thursday
-sauted green squash with nutmeg
-I think tonight we might have the trader joe's chicken asian dumplings, brown rice and edamame (easy)

I just think it is better to cook and have dinner with your family for your kids in the long run. I know some people don't have interest but I really wanted to make this commitment.

Also, my son and I usually don't get home until about 6pm but I can have dinner on the table by about 6:40. I try to engage him as much as possible in the prep process.

[Anonymous]

Second the suggestion that DH should do some cooking.

I LOVE to cook and am good at it. DH is okay at cooking. I get home earlier than he does, so I start the meal, and when he gets home he sets the table, does whatever I still need to have done (grate cheese, for instance), pours drinks. We eat all together and then he does the dishes, cleans the table, and puts away leftovers while I give DD a bath. Although I would love to cook a gourmet meal every night, it ain't happening because of our schedules, so here are the great shortcuts I like. Note that a microwave is key:

1) Frozen steam-in-bag veggies. You can do a plain one or a mix. Just microwave and you have a side dish. They make steamable rice too. Done in 3 minutes.
2) Frozen bread rolls-- 10 minutes in oven. Makes you feel like you're getting a more homemade meal.
3) Sweet potatoes. These are a great side dish and less carb-heavy than regular. Wrap tightly in cling wrap and microwave. We serve with light sour cream or butter.
4) For entrees, you can defrost frozen fish filets (put them in a bowl of water before work in the a.m.) and then wrap in cooking parchment with a little white wine, and oven poach them in 15 minutes.
--We don't eat meat but there are a million Mornngstar Farm and Quorn entrees like fake chicken cutlets with gruyere on top. 18 minutes in the toaster oven while I'm coloring with DD.
--Make a big vat of homemade pasta sauce one night with a little garlic, a canned peeled tomatoes, spices, and then you can dress it up with different veggies different nights (I like spinach). We serve with whole-wheat pasta.
--Fantastic Foods chili. Best fast meal ever.
--Breakfast for dinner-- big hit with everyone. Omelettes, toast, pancakes. We do this maybe once per month.
--Prepared foods-- buy a big lasagna sometimes.
--Kids' dinner. We have a grilled cheese press. DD gets a regular grilled cheese, but DH and I make grownup grilled cheese with gourmet cheeses, dijon mustard, tomatoes, vegetarian deli slices, whatever weird stuff we want to throw in. Then steam-in-bag veggies on the side.
--Saute some different colored peppers, onions, and tomatoes and then throw some grilled sausages (we use Boca) on them. Serve with steam-in-bag rice.

When you go shopping, think in terms of fast and easy foods, and get a sense in your head of five meals you could make.

Of course I'd love to make more gourmet things sometimes, but if we manage to have protein, vegetables, and maybe a starch and to have it together at the table, that feels like a great dinner to me. The key is to make sure that responsibilities are even: shopping, setting up, cleaning up, pots and pans take as much time as the cooking. You should figure out who is doing each.

I hope that this helps. For what it's worth, dinner time has become one of my favorite times of day since we got it together to have some kind of sit-down dinner with real food. I've also found that it saves money and makes dieting easier. When you've only had cereal for dinner, you feel entitled to a snack. If you've had a sweet potato, broccoli, and steamed fish you feel like you've had enough.

[Anonymous]

It seems like you are providing healthy food for your child, and I'm sure your child will be perfectly healthy if you never cook a day in your life. But I would like to point out, that now is the perfect time to learn how to cook a few simple meals. I hate cooking, but do it for my son every day (although it varies from real meals to frozen veggie burgers). The other night I realized how wonderful it is to cook for a small child. If you totally mess up the meal, they are perfectly content with eating chopped up fruit and cheese and toast.

Plus, if you can cook with a small child attached to your leg, you can cook anywhere!