Am I the only WOHM who does not cook?

[Anonymous]

There's a Giant commercial I love -- it has working parents (esp. moms) talking about cooking dinner. One mom says, honestly, "I only cook so my kids won't starve!"

OP -- I do think your husband should be cooking. What's wrong with him???

Can you guys afford to do Let's Dish or something similar?

http://www.letsdish.com

Send DH off to prepare meals for the month, then you offer to make sure they get thawed and onto the table. You guys have to work as a team! Since there are just 2 adult eaters, you could split each meal into two, and likely have anough for one person's lunch leftovers to boot. So a 12-meal session would get you about 24 dinners.

Then, you need to have a starch for each meal. Someone posted this idea a while ago and though it was simple, I thought it was brilliant: She puts the pot for cooking rice or pasta on the stove in the morning before leaving for work (filled with water already). So when you walk in the door you can just turn on the pot to cook water. Psychologically, that is so great -- when you have a screaming fussy baby, not to have to search for the pot and fill up water can make all the difference.

[Anonymous]

Several tips and thoughts for you:

1) You are at a very tough stage right now -- where you have a toddler and a baby, and so you are ALREADY preparing/feeding 2 meals a night. I understand completely why you don't feel you have time for a third. But, happily, this stage will pass. So cut yourself some slack right now.

2) I work full time, and I have NEVER been a good cook. It is only really since my older son moved into the preschool years (and my younger one out of the baby years) that making "family meals" has really started to make sense.

3) As others have said -- if hubby wants more family meals, he can help. Mine does. Frequently he grills something (fish, burgers, steaks, chicken) (yes, even in the dead of winter!) and I am responsible for the side dishes. This works out pretty well, as I only deal with EASY side dishes (frozen or fresh veggies, quick breads, salads, etc.) Sometimes however, I cook an entire dinner. Sometimes HE cooks the entire dinner. I will say, I think the idea of family meals is great... its just finding the time that is hard. But we eat like you,... lots of simple grilled fish with a couple of spices, or easy stuff. I haven't made a complicated sauce in YEARS!

4) Embrace easy side dishes. I only by the ready to use salad, toss in a few blueberries, nuts, and gorgonzola cheese, and voila - you have a nice salad! I swear by frozen veggies. Sure, in the summer, I try to eat more fresh stuff, but I ALWAYS have a freezer full of peas/broccoli, etc. Open the bag, dump in a bowl, and microwave for 5 minutes while you're setting the table.

5) Go get this cookbook: "Everyday Food: Great Food Fast" by Martha Stewart. Don't let the author turn you off, it has only simple recipes (many with only 10 -15 minutes prep time), and is perfect for people who like good, fresh, simple food. It has become my "go-to" cookbook. I bet 60% of my recipes come from there, and I've never had a bad one. I am a completely novice chef, and I can make any of these, and more importantly, I can make them quickly. They use fresh ingredients, and while occasionally there is something a bit unique you'd have to buy, most use very common ingredients.

6) lastly, I wrote out a list of my favorite recipes (just the names) some time ago. And I categorized them by whether they were hearty, light, etc. My favorite category? "EASY". Whenever you find a good recipe that you like, and that is easy, write it on the list. I was amazed at how many recipes just kind of fall out of use. So now, when I need to make dinner, and I'm tired, I look at my "easy" list, and start from there.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Suggest DH pick up the pots and pans and have at it!

Also, do you have a "Let's Dish" or something similar in your area? These are fine meals -albeit not as I'd make it- for weekdays.

[Anonymous]

21:34 here-- I guess I should have been more clear on what I mean by "real meals." I'm not Julia Child by any means. Most of the things I make during the week are very simple-- throw some turkey sausages in the broiler and steam some veggies and rice in the steamer. Best kitchen contraption I've purchased is my steamer-- I can just throw everything in, set the time, and go do something else. If I feel like making something more fun-- like an "easy" recipe from Cooking Light-- I do a lot of the prep work the day before. One tip I've read (on this blog actually) is to cut up all the veggies when you get home from the grocery store. I haven't tried that yet, but it's on my never-ending "to do" list.

[Anonymous]

I work full time outside the home and so does husband. We have a 3 year old (good eater) and a 10 month old. My husband likes to cook because it relaxes him (and I think enjoys it more than herding the cats/children in the evening) so he does about 90% of the cooking, no joke. He always has, though. He also does almost all the grocery shopping, since those chores kind of go together. He usually takes one of the kids with him on Sat. mornings with a list we both keep running on the fridge. I'm so grateful because we'd do much worse than you are doing now if it were left primarily up to me. Sometimes there's not enough vegetables and it's a little sausage heavy, but at least someone's doing it.

If someone wonders what the heck I'm doing, I'm caring for the children, making all the Target/drugstore runs, cleaning all the bathrooms, laundry, sorting and buying all the children's clothes, coordinating doc's appts, etc., etc. So obviously I'm a slacker.

Repeat after me:
1) Your husband. "I think we should cook more 'real meals'"
2 You: "That's a great idea! What are you going to make? Want me to make a list for you to take to the grocery store? Which kid are you going to take with you when you go?"

If we didn't have the situation where one of us likes to cook, I would trade off--2 nights I cook, 2 nights he cooks, and we have leftovers and restaurant food the other nights.

[Anonymous]

Nope-I'm a slacker when it comes to cooking, or I should say "preparing meals". During the week, my son's usual diet consists of tofu, fake chicken mcnuggets, applesauce, peas, carrots, watermelon, tangerines, grapes, rice, risotto and yogurt. He could eat the same thing every night of the week! We'll make sandwiches or have a bowl of cereal. On the weekends, we might make dinner together or get carry-out, or actually go out to dinner.

I love to clean my house but I've always hated to cook. But I do love to grocery shop but I think that's because I'm shopping for my family, whom I love deeply.

I don't feel guilty and neither should you. I work and the last thing I want to do when I get home is stand in the kitchen-I'd much rather shoot hoops with my son or read to him. Something has to give.

My husband works late, so dinner prepared by him wouldn't be served until 9pm. But he would make dinner if I asked him to.

[Anonymous]

I love to cook and so does my husband, and we're both pretty good at it. We save the fancy stuff for weekends and cook large portions of things that freeze well (soup, chili, home made spaghetti sauce, beans), so that we always have something we can defrost on a hectic weeknight. But I'm surprised at the number of people who don't cook. I guess that's why when my kids' friends' parents come to pick them up they're always exclaiming over the fact that there's a meal on the stove.

[Anonymous]

if by cook you mean putting instant oatmeal in the microwave. We think Harris Teeter pre-cooked chicken is a gourmet meal

[Anonymous]

I cook a big recipe on Sunday and that lasts us at least a few days. DD usually doesn't eat the recipe so I do the simple things you mentioned. I enjoy cooking and like to come home to a finished meal. When we run out of the big recipe I do grilled chicken on the george foreman or another simple recipe that I cook the night before or right when I get home.

[Anonymous]

If you are a WOHM and DH is a WOHD, why does it fall to you to cook??? Tell him you'll share the responsibility. Geez.

[Anonymous]

This thread gave me a chuckle as it reminded me of my best friend's mom growing up. From junior high school thru college, I'd never seen her cook a meal. Even the seder dinner I was once invited to was entirely carry out.

In those days, I was envious that her mom would hand us a few dollars to eat out somewhere (often McDonald's in those days.)

Anyway, my best friend grew up to be a ivy league attending standout attorney with a lot of creativity and self-starting ingenuity, so the lack of cooking didn't have much effect.

Except for the fact, I suppose, that I've never really seen my friend cook either.

[Anonymous]

not cooking at home is easy if money is no object and getting fat is not a concern

[Anonymous]

I know you said you don't want to cook on the weekends, but I couldn't get by without it. I'll preface my comments by saying that I am the one that likes to eat a real meal - DH could eat takeout or skip dinner all week long. And we also rarely if ever make a separate meal for dd (13 mos) - she just eats our leftovers. Anyway, you don't have to cook every weekend - I only do it once or twice a month (although I almost always make dinner on Sundays because that's just a tradition thing with me). And it doesn't have to cut into your family time - I usually do it in the evening or have a crockpot dish or soup going during a day spent at home. It took a few months, but I've now built up a good freezer supply of food and last week did not cook anything, but had a real meal every night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually know a lot of working husbands who do the cooking.

Mine is one of them! If he didn't cook, we eat at Whole Foods EVERYDAY or get Thai take out. I cook twice a month, if that. It's just too much!

[Anonymous]

Other than those with cooking husbands (definitely not mine... I can't even manage to watch him make microwave oatmeal because he undoubtedly will do something wrong) what do people "who don't cook" eat? I definitely don't have much time to devote to it, but we can't starve! I also have tried to make sure we're all eating the same thing (when babies are under say 9-10 months maybe they get theirs chopped up, and pureed something before 6 months) because I believe in the end it will produce better eating habits. But I'm not perfect. Last night we all ate spaghetti with sauce from a jar and tonight we're doing taco night. Probably about 2-4 times a week I do something more planned and invariably we'll have leftovers a night or two.