Private schools having parents call and ask for money??

[Anonymous]

Write a check as soon as the campaign starts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was this SSSAS and did they ask for at least $3500? Because they called me last night and did just that.

Yes! They called us too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every private school has a gap, which is the difference between what tuition brings and what they spend per student. In this area, there are enough families that could afford tuition + gap. Schools choose not to raise tuition to cover the gap, and instead go through the rigmarole of calling every parent, many alumnae, grandparents, etc to raise funds to close that gap.

This allows private schools to have a lower price and more families to consider sending their children. For families like ours, the difference between 30K and 35k would really have given us pause, since even 30K puts stress on our finances. The gap could also be closed substantially at most schools by giving no financial aid. Instead, schools fundraise and are able to increase the socioeconomic diversity of their student population.

I have grown to consider this something we should be very proud of in terms of the private school culture. Ther are definitely many families at each of our schools that give more than they need to to help cover many of the rest of us that can't. We give as much as we can, and I'm thankful to all the other parents that do too.

This is beautifully put.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So we are new to the private school world, and we are only attending because we received tremendous financial aid for LO to be able to go as we couldn't otherwise afford it. Anyhow, since day one it's been clear that the school is always trying to get more money. Given that we are only there through financial aid, I greatly appreciate it even though our contributions are clearly limited to smaller monetary amounts and then time (I am a room parent so have taken on many extra duties as such). However, we recently got a call from another parent asking us directly for a very large (to us) amount of money. We were caught off guard and said we'd discuss, and they said they'd follow up with us. This is SO uncomfortable! Why do they do this in such an awkward and direct way? It's like you either automatically get labeled as poor or cheap if you don't donate their requested sum. For me, I don't have trouble saying no, but dh feels very uncomfortable about this (and they called him). And of course, it's nobody else's business that we are there only through aid. Anyhow, kind of a vent/question I guess as to why this doesn't seem wildly inappropriate to others??

Your post shows a lack of basic understanding, OP. First of all, not clear on how you could be a " room parent" your first year in the school, but I'll let that go. Second point: you said you get a lot of FA; where do you think THAT comes from OP ? For every full grant 3 families are pitching in to pay your DC's tuition. So, ponder that perhaps, before you go on- line being critical of solitations to Annual Giving.

Lastly, if you were solicited, that seems to prove that , in fact, your FA status is being kept confidential as it should be. Sooner or later they will figure it out and then you will be complaining that no one invites you to lunch anymore….

In other words: you cannot have it both ways . Choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every private school has a gap, which is the difference between what tuition brings and what they spend per student. In this area, there are enough families that could afford tuition + gap. Schools choose not to raise tuition to cover the gap, and instead go through the rigmarole of calling every parent, many alumnae, grandparents, etc to raise funds to close that gap.

This allows private schools to have a lower price and more families to consider sending their children. For families like ours, the difference between 30K and 35k would really have given us pause, since even 30K puts stress on our finances. The gap could also be closed substantially at most schools by giving no financial aid. Instead, schools fundraise and are able to increase the socioeconomic diversity of their student population.

I have grown to consider this something we should be very proud of in terms of the private school culture. Ther are definitely many families at each of our schools that give more than they need to to help cover many of the rest of us that can't. We give as much as we can, and I'm thankful to all the other parents that do too.

This is beautifully put.

Isn't it also way for families to pay part of their tuition tax free.

[Anonymous]

I give quite a bit to our annual fund but am getting annoyed at the amount of families who don't give. It seems our school targets the givers and asks us to give more. This year we were asked to double gift which would mean close to 20k. This doesn't factor in the capital campaign, the auction and various other asks. I do think annual fund is important but more people need to stretch not just a fee people. I also have another school to think about.

[Anonymous]

Op here--I think if they called saying that the goal is to get 100% of parents to participate, that is MUCH better than stating "we want 2-4k per family". Crazy and isolating, and asking a fellow parent to do that is just wrong in my opinion. For the pp who can afford 20k, more power to you, but for most that's unheard of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH did this for our school, although I don't think he ever suggested people donate huge amounts of money. I guess the schools ask parents to do this because their letter solicitations don't get a lot of responses. I agree, it's no fun for anyone.
They really care about the percent of families that participate. So you'll be helping with that measure by donating even a small amount.

I'd just say something like, "We have a tight budget right now but we're really eager to help because we know it goes to a good cause. So we're donating $XXX." The parent should accept that. If the parent tries to negotiate you up, that's really bad.

Exactly. I used to work as a fundraiser for a private school, and hated this practice though my head/volunteer committee/board insisted on it. OP, please know that the parent didn't pick a number out of a hat. They were given that number by the development office (which is often bumped up higher by the head, to be honest). I agree that PP's response is the right way to go. At a private school, you will always be asked for money. It's just the way that it is. Give a small amount to be counted for annual participation and move on.

Yes, and you probably wouldn't want the development office to say, "Don't ask so and so for as much money because they're on financial aid." This is just something people are directed to do and they know that lots of people won't give that much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First of all, not clear on how you could be a " room parent" your first year in the school, but I'll let that go.

Not clear on how you could be an expert on how room parents are selected at every school. Our school makes a special effort to include new parents in the group.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is clearly a DC board, given the fact that people are talking about "only" giving $100 or $250. I know for some families, those number are still a lot and intimidating.
As many have said, participation counts for a LOT. So truly, literally, feel free to give $5. And I promise that no one in the development office will think ill of you or thumb their knows at the $5 donation. They'll be happy that you participated and it will help the % of families who donated. And Every bit helps. Every. Bit.

[Anonymous]

Most schools' "gaps" in this area are in the $3500 range, give or take a hundred or two. They're asking you to give the gap, which is what every school asks you to do if you can. It shouldn't bother you that they asked for this - it's simply the gap. It also shouldn't bother you (or them) to give less if you can't give the gap - they don't demand it (or shouldn't). It's simply a recognition that the extra represents the full cost to educate your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only families who do that tend to be the ones who give in the ten-twenty thousands and up. And the ones who give millions dont get called.

Quite right. They get taken to a nice dinner!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only families who do that tend to be the ones who give in the ten-twenty thousands and up. And the ones who give millions dont get called.

Quite right. They get taken to a nice dinner!!

Our school sends a photocopied letter to current parents, including past donors, without even a real signature or a personal note. It sends the message that donations are taken for granted. If you don't give right away you get the phone call.

[Anonymous]

Re: the Gap. Why don't they just budget to the tuition they plan to receive and not run a deficit that donations have to cover? End the shakedown!!

[Anonymous]

We always go online asap and donate $50 to keep the school off our backs and keep up their participation percentage. We can't afford to give hundreds or thousands and never get bothered.