Did you have sex last night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the baby? Or is she still pregnant?

I had a hard time mustering up sex drive during first trimester because I had read too many stories about sex causing miscarriage. I don't think that's accurate, but it was hard to stop thinking about it.

Post-birth, it took a good 4 months before it didn't hurt like hell to have sex.

Try being affectionate without making sex be a goal -- even tell her, I'm not looking for actual sex, just want to be physically affectionate.

We are in the first trimester. No morning sickness, and although she complains she is the heaviest she has ever been in her entire life, none of that can be baby weight at this point.

My wife is chubby bordering on plain old fat. She has been since I met her (though she is heavier now). I was attracted to her then and am now, but she really doesn't like herself or her weight and that creeps into everything. I realize the baby will mean more weight, and I'm understanding. I find sexual enthusiasm much more exciting than a perfect body. The enthusiasm is lacking...10000% lacking.

I'm hoping that a year down the road, after she recovers from the pregnancy and childbirth, that the enthusiasm returns. I still kind of hope the pregnancy hormones kick in and give her drive a goose.

In your wife's defense I am also in my first trimester and let me tell you. I am a thin person but between the bloating from the progesterone, bloating from constipation, and bloating from gas alone - I do not doubt it if she looks and feels bigger. I do, and I KNOW it's not baby. All that said, I don't exactly feel like a tiger in the sheets. I feel disgusting - so please don't take it personal if she isn't in the mood right now. I had sex with my husband last night to appease him but at least acted enthusiastic about it. She could work on her acting skills a little.

She sounds like maybe she has weight and image issues though and that's only going to get worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes - it was a relatively quick romp at about 30 minutes but really intense (long build up that started while I was on a late conference call).

usually 3 or 4 nights per week (just depends who is kid free) and 2-3x per night.

~divorced dad

Quick for us is 5 minutes!
Was your sex life good with your ex or is this anew lease on life?

My ex and I simply weren't compatible in the bedroom and unfortunately out of the bedroom but we are great friends and co-parents.

I think it's fair to say it's a combination of my new lease on life and taking my time to find someone who matches my drive - she is just hitting her sexual prime (age-wise for women -see the threads on 40 and constantly horny) and though I'm in my early 40s, I have the refractory period of a teenager combined with the staying power of a mature man - so it's a win-win for us both!

I was always high drive and finally found someone with whom the sexual chemistry is off the charts. It also helps that we connect on so many deep levels (as individuals, professionals, parents, etc.) because she's becoming more uninhibited and open in the bedroom (though she definitely has skills ).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes - it was a relatively quick romp at about 30 minutes but really intense (long build up that started while I was on a late conference call).

usually 3 or 4 nights per week (just depends who is kid free) and 2-3x per night.

~divorced dad

Quick for us is 5 minutes!
Was your sex life good with your ex or is this anew lease on life?

My ex and I simply weren't compatible in the bedroom and unfortunately out of the bedroom but we are great friends and co-parents.

I think it's fair to say it's a combination of my new lease on life and taking my time to find someone who matches my drive - she is just hitting her sexual prime (age-wise for women -see the threads on 40 and constantly horny) and though I'm in my early 40s, I have the refractory period of a teenager combined with the staying power of a mature man - so it's a win-win for us both!

I was always high drive and finally found someone with whom the sexual chemistry is off the charts. It also helps that we connect on so many deep levels (as individuals, professionals, parents, etc.) because she's becoming more uninhibited and open in the bedroom (though she definitely has skills ).

. Sure you do...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes - it was a relatively quick romp at about 30 minutes but really intense (long build up that started while I was on a late conference call).

usually 3 or 4 nights per week (just depends who is kid free) and 2-3x per night.

~divorced dad

Quick for us is 5 minutes!
Was your sex life good with your ex or is this anew lease on life?

My ex and I simply weren't compatible in the bedroom and unfortunately out of the bedroom but we are great friends and co-parents.

I think it's fair to say it's a combination of my new lease on life and taking my time to find someone who matches my drive - she is just hitting her sexual prime (age-wise for women -see the threads on 40 and constantly horny) and though I'm in my early 40s, I have the refractory period of a teenager combined with the staying power of a mature man - so it's a win-win for us both!

I was always high drive and finally found someone with whom the sexual chemistry is off the charts. It also helps that we connect on so many deep levels (as individuals, professionals, parents, etc.) because she's becoming more uninhibited and open in the bedroom (though she definitely has skills ).

. Sure you do...

Not Pp but I think that's pretty common. I'm the PP who wondered if 2-3 times a week was good enough. My husband was like PP when I met him at 44. We had sex daily. Often several times a day. Now at 55 he's slowng down a bit so two days in a row isnt as easy anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
30 min is quick? Wow I've never had a guy go longer then 10 minutes and in the last few years I'm lucky for 1 min. This comes from a single girl who hasn't had sex in 6 months.

I guess we must be doing something right because we go at it for 45 mins to an hour on most occasions including about 30 mins of intercourse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In your wife's defense I am also in my first trimester and let me tell you. I am a thin person but between the bloating from the progesterone, bloating from constipation, and bloating from gas alone - I do not doubt it if she looks and feels bigger. I do, and I KNOW it's not baby. All that said, I don't exactly feel like a tiger in the sheets. I feel disgusting - so please don't take it personal if she isn't in the mood right now. I had sex with my husband last night to appease him but at least acted enthusiastic about it. She could work on her acting skills a little.

Oh, she doesn't need defending...I get it. and I think she does feel like a bloated person...I am not taking it personally. I know that if I demanded it, she'd willingly give me maintenance/duty sex. 14-35 year old me would have been fine with duty sex. 46 year old me is not so thrilled at that.

[quot]She sounds like maybe she has weight and image issues though and that's only going to get worse.

Yes, and that's been lurking since we got together. For the next 8 months, baby is going to make that worse...and I expect the urge to diet and work out will be very low in the months immediately following. So, like I said, I'm hunkering down for a year.

It's good to hear that this isn't uncommon...thanks for sharing

[jsteele]

Folks, please remember that this is the "non-explicit" forum. Please feel free to visit the explicit forum if you want to express yourselves more fully on this topic.

[Anonymous]

We vary. Some weeks not at all, some weeks several times. Just depends on how busy things are and how tired we are. With that said, twice today (DH took off work).

[Anonymous]

No.