11 yr old boy and porn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: I discovered that my restrictions on the computer did not affect Chrome and as long as DS used Chrome, nothing was blocked. It also did not allow the the computer to shut off automatically. So even with timers on the computer, my DS could still have it on. Took me a while to figure this out.

Good first step. I can't believe people defending porn--they don't seem to realize watching it can become a very overpowering addiction. I personally have no view on the morality of it, anymore than I have a view on the morality of heroin. This I do know--both can be very addictive and it is the job of loved ones to take steps to not enable access.

[Anonymous]

Tell him that you are able to see where he's been on the computer and that you know he went somewhere inappropriate (no details need to be said) and that you will be checking going forward as you are able to check from work because it's your (or husbands) work computer (a white lie). Don't say how you really found out. Then check the history and If you see it again tell him same thing.
We have 2 boys 11 and 12. When the older one was 10 I saw that he'd been somewhere he shouldn't and so I told him dad would be checking daily from his job since it's his dad's work computer (which it actually was) and all that stuff is tracked (true). He never went anywhere inappropriate again. In fact once he clicked away from something he deemed inappropriate and told me. The younger one knows I can tell where they've been, never had him do anything. They just play mine craft and watch tons of youtubes about myth busters etc. occasionally when I see them on you tubes that might be risky I tell them to pay attention to what your watching or I'll confiscate! They seem to be only interested in kid stuff and are fine with it. I can't imagine them watching porn. Way too young. They are just kids, typical boys. 11 year old still into Lego.

[Anonymous]

The curiosity is very natural. I think it is the duty of all of us to limit their exposure as much as possible to this stuff. There is only so much we can do, and I am sure that by the time they are in their late teens all our efforts will be in vane - a friend with an iphone etc. But at least while they are still young we can do what we can - parental controls, monitoring software etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The curiosity is very natural. I think it is the duty of all of us to limit their exposure as much as possible to this stuff. There is only so much we can do, and I am sure that by the time they are in their late teens all our efforts will be in vane - a friend with an iphone etc. But at least while they are still young we can do what we can - parental controls, monitoring software etc.

Yes I agree.
I'm sure if you asked the teachers they would not think its fine for their 11 yr old students to be viewing such things.

in my kids school they often remind the parents in the newsletters to pay attention and monitor what our young people are being exposed to online. They are addressing the parents of all years which goes up to ages 16/17. Obviously allowing more freedom to older students. Nevertheless the message is to pay attention as there is a huge amount of garbage out there. Minds that are still developing don't need to see it.
They will still see "enough" via friends or however. That's how it was when we were growing up. We didn't have so much garbage just a click away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The curiosity is very natural. I think it is the duty of all of us to limit their exposure as much as possible to this stuff. There is only so much we can do, and I am sure that by the time they are in their late teens all our efforts will be in vane - a friend with an iphone etc. But at least while they are still young we can do what we can - parental controls, monitoring software etc.

I think frequent and casual conversations about sexuality, porn, and relationships in general set the tone for a healthy development of their attitudes and behavior. Hopefully these conversations at the start of and throughout their teen years. And, hopefully they've had their first girl/boy friend (whether or not they have sex with them) prior to age 18. All this sets the stage for them to be able to asses for themselves - and practice self-discipline - as they are older, out in the world, and have easier access to porn. For us, we are doing absolutely everything in our power to shield them from porn while they still live at home. No smart phones or any other private internet-capable devices, computer only available in our kitchen, etc. etc. Yes, I realize we can't control EVERYthing but we will do our best to try in this regard - just as we will do our best to keep them from drug use and reckless/drunk driving. No, porn won't kill them, but it certainly can damage them in profound ways.